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Bad Philosophy From Roy E Kliewachter

tkingdoll

Penultimate Amazing
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I was searching for the origin of the quote "everywhere I go, there I am" (I saw it on a Dr Seuss t-shirt today and wondered what book of his it was from).

This guy, Roy E. Klienwachter: http://www.klienwachter.com is claiming to be the author of the quote, which I am highly skeptical of as it's a very old saying.

Anyway, on his site is a PDF book of, erm, profound and, er, fascinating quotes from the master of spirituality:http://www.klienwachter.com/Quotes/RoyQuotes.pdf

Some of them are so terrible I actually snorted drink over my keyboard. I give you a few of my favourite 'pearls of wisdom':

"Death has a calming effect on the soul."

"Be at peace with yourself and the world will know peace."

"Great power comes to those that know that they have it."

"Look at me through the eyes of love and you will see that which is loved."

"Christmas is the time of giving just as important is asking, that is the greatest gift you can give to another."

"You can not reason with someone who knows."

"When you say “I AM,” what is it you are saying?"

"If there is no god, then who’s driving?"

"Life is your turn on the holodeck."

"A lie is an unborn truth."



Some of these are just begging for comedy answers. I think this guy sees himself going down in history as a master of wise soundbites. We should encourage him to achieve fame and immortality by quoting his words whenever possible, whatever the situation, in an annoying 'Confuscius says...' manner. And remember, kids, don't tell unborns truths.

Now where did I put my holodeck?
 
PS, in case anyone wants to accuse me of being mean, I would like to quote from an article on this guys site. He deserves to be mocked, frankly.

"There are many diseases and illnesses that children have which are difficult to treat. They are difficult to treat because it may be harder to administer the conventional treatments to a child or they may refuse to take their medication. This is where alternative medications and treatments come into place. Children easily accept these alternative treatments because they do not associate these treatments with medicine. These treatments are something new and exciting in their eyes. Asthma is one disease in particular that is difficult to treat children for. The children do not enjoy using their puffers or any other type of treatment that is given. Before you begin choosing the alternative treatment for your children or child, you must remember to keep in mind that these treatments have no scientific research and are not equal to conventional medications. These treatments do work to an extent however. "
 
"You can not reason with someone who knows."

That one is actually kind of apt, though hardly original.
 
NoZed Avenger said:
"You can not reason with someone who knows."

That one is actually kind of apt, though hardly original.
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Some of them are very well observed. So well observed, in fact, that a small child could have thought of it. That's why I find them so funny.
 
I once knew a person who as as smart as him. I can't seem to recal the name B....... B something and C.... Cl... something. Oh yeah Bozo the Clown. :)
 
tkingdoll said:
Asthma is one disease in particular that is difficult to treat children for. The children do not enjoy using their puffers or any other type of treatment that is given. Before you begin choosing the alternative treatment for your children or child, you must remember to keep in mind that these treatments have no scientific research and are not equal to conventional medications. These treatments do work to an extent however. "
Click to expand...

I know a guy, a PhD in math, who swears by a homeopathic remedy to his child's asthma. That the placebo effect can have a massive effect on a coughing fit is nothing exceptional. However, I'd still keep the emergency inhaler nearby to say nothing of longer term steroid or other lung strengtheners.
 
tkingdoll said:
"Death has a calming effect on the soul."

"Be at peace with yourself and the world will know peace."

"Great power comes to those that know that they have it."

"Look at me through the eyes of love and you will see that which is loved."

"Christmas is the time of giving just as important is asking, that is the greatest gift you can give to another."

"You can not reason with someone who knows."

"When you say “I AM,” what is it you are saying?"

"If there is no god, then who’s driving?"

"Life is your turn on the holodeck."

"A lie is an unborn truth."
Click to expand...

My responses in order:

....Unless you're the surviving family.

So try marijuana!

Especially when they arc across the mains.

, However look at me through the eyes of lust and have more fun!

So can I borrow 50 bucks?

That's true. Ask Kurious Kathy.

I'm saying "I am" you halfwit. Shall I get a dictionary?

Roadtoad is.

I've been to the holodeck. The hookers were lacking.

Only in the case of religion.
 
See here's the thing about pithy quotes... the people that are frequently quoted, like Shakespeare and Alexander Pope, wrote really important literature, and these great quotes are plucked from within. You can't just think up cute little sayings and expect them to become repeated down through history ...

... unless you're Yogi Berra.

Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical.
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hgc said:
See here's the thing about pithy quotes... the people that are frequently quoted, like Shakespeare and Alexander Pope, wrote really important literature, and these great quotes are plucked from within. You can't just think up cute little sayings and expect them to become repeated down through history ...

... unless you're Yogi Berra.
Click to expand...



That Yogi. Always outsmarting the Ranger and getting the picnic basket...
 
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