The only God I could believe in is one who doesn't want to be believed in. So I don't (so's not to make her mad).
All the rest, the ones who need to be believed in, are great as jokes, bit like the priest who walks into a bar, except funnier. I believe the real god, the one who doesn't want to be believed in, invented them to divert attention from herself. And to give us something to laugh at. Those who laugh loudest... get the punchline (d-uh).
'Course there's a slight possibility I could be wrong, in which case I'll be broiling, if the pig-haters are right, or coming back as a 'rhoid, if the cow-lovers are.
Anyway, question: is there such a thing as a God fetish? A halo-chaser; prophet jones; slick to mix with the crucifixed? Jesus has amazing abs, and the cutest blue eyes... I've heard. And He's such a tease; always posing with that bit of cloth strategically clinging to his midrift. C'mon G-man, work it! (Don't get me started on that drives-the-mullahs-mad Muhammad; let's just say it's no secret what Sunni Man's been praying for.)
And the "Virgin" Mary is a MEGA-milf and then some... aarroooo! (scratches self behind ear.) Of course, the Holy Ghost's a pretty tough act to follow, but that didn't slow Joseph down. I like that she's shy, always on the verge of blushing, and wears lots of silk. Takes care of herself too, soft smooth skin, not a trace of leprosy. And her perfume, a sinful blend of frankincense and myrrh. So how about it, G-man? Does your mom go, eh? Is she a goer?
Well, even if she isn't, plenty of other god-dish in the sea (this one's a goer, if you only want to go once, that is)...

I only ask because a... friend of mine... has been having these... thoughts lately... and wants to know if they're... normal... or indirect proof of God, somehow?
signed,
sick sect sex-fiend's fried friend.