There's an important difference as I'll show. Men commit a lower percentage of crime than their percentage representation in homicides by police. For
example:
But, as Brainster pointed out, over 95% of people killed by police are male. So it is reasonable to conclude that police are reacting more aggressively towards a male suspect than a female suspect. That's not to say that extra aggression isn't justified, however, because it's perhaps true that male suspects display more aggression than female suspects, on average.
In terms of race, from the data I've seen, blacks commit roughly the same percentage of crime as their percentage representation in homicides by police. So no additional factors based on race are required to explain the data. There does not seem to be a difference in the probability that police will use deadly force against a black suspect in comparison to a white suspect. The differences in homicide rates is adequately explained by the difference in crime rates.
Now, that's not to say that there isn't a problem with the aggressiveness or competence of police. As a society, we might believe that the rate of homicides by police is far too high. And, considering that blacks will bear the brunt of that, given their far higher rate of confrontations with police, it is rational for blacks to be more sensitive to the issue. But that doesn't mean it is an issue of racism. It might be an issue where different racial groups have different preferences, but it's not due to racism
per se.
As a man, I suppose I should be concerned about high levels of police aggressiveness too, since I am disproportionately likely to be killed by police compared with roughly half of the population. I'm not concerned, however, for two reasons. One, the risk is so low that it's not really on my radar screen; and two, I actually believe that decreasing police aggressiveness will result in higher crime and an increase, on net, of my risk of being injured or killed due to an act of violence. Based on the statistics I've seen, I think black men should reach a similar conclusion.