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America's most wanted...

DESCRIPTION: 6 feet 1 inch, 165 pounds

Poor guy must be starving to death to be this thin. Clearly he was justified in squirting cheese on his wife for not cooking him anything. ;)
 
Okay, I'm moving there. If this is how deep they have to dig to get a "crime" story in South Carolina, I'd feel safe passed out drunk naked on a six-foot-high pile of hundred dollar bills in front of my unlocked and well-lit mansion, with the Lamborghini's doors wide open and the keys in the ignition.
 
Okay, I'm moving there. If this is how deep they have to dig to get a "crime" story in South Carolina, I'd feel safe passed out drunk naked on a six-foot-high pile of hundred dollar bills in front of my unlocked and well-lit mansion, with the Lamborghini's doors wide open and the keys in the ignition.

You gonna hafta chug a whole lotta dem tiny airline booze bottles (da only kind they sell in S.C. if I recall correctly) to end up in dis condition...
 
You gonna hafta chug a whole lotta dem tiny airline booze bottles (da only kind they sell in S.C. if I recall correctly) to end up in dis condition...
I don't think so.

And...:
South Carolina is a "mini-bottle" state. Liquor is served from pre-measured bottles in bars and restaurants. If you want to buy a bottle of spirits, look for a store decorated with big red dots. Liquor stores in South Carolina are not allowed to advertise, but they are allowed to paint big red dots all over their buildings. Beer (usually lager) and wine are available in grocery stores.
 
walsh.jpg

Rodney Dane Higginbotham is wanted for a brutal assault with a processed cheese food product, and is on the lamb after frommaging at least one victim. If you encounter this dangerous criminal, remember, do not attempt to apprehend him yourself, call our hotline immediately. It's also alleged that he may be packing Cheez Whiz and was last spotted headed in the direction of Green Bay, Wisconsin . . .
 

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