"My loving is so sweet that you would become a mindless slave if I let you do me, so I must withhold my number so as not to interfere with your free will"?
No more along the lines of I don't have a phone so you can't call me...
The excuses here are worse because something is being offered that cannot be provided. At least I haven't been given a fake number, I can say that much. That's basically what religion is doing, giving fake phone numbers out to desperate men (or women). I put almost no thought into that so feel free to quote me.