a dilemma of sorts

[Impartial Observer]

my neighbor and I are facebook friends. She's always posting stuff about paranormal this, angels that, "love and light", "god loves you" and stuff about horoscopes and astrology as well as conspiracy theories.

As a card-carrying atheist and being the free thinking rational-minded person I am, I would like to know how to deal with this situation.

Like I said, she's my neighbor and good neighborly relations are important to me. I don't want to unfriend her or hide her posts for fear of not having a friendly neighbor.

I told her once when she tried having me look up stuff about "indigo children" that I don't ascribe to such thing. She asked, "what else don't you believe in?" I told her that I didn't believe in angels, god, UFOs, bigfoot, Nessie, astrology and so on. She then countered with a challenge; "what do you do to occupy your mind? And why do you like Star Trek?"

I guess I'm not that quick a thinker and would have defended my position tooth and nail against her beliefs had I been quick with my reply and been smart about it. All I could do was nod and feign interest.

Looking back, I would have challenged her horoscopes with the fact that they could apply to anyone no matter their astrological sign and other such things that one realizes they should have said but didn't. All I can do now is sort of be passive about it and post to my facebook wall some Captain Disillusion and Thunderf00t videos in the hopes that she'll watch and somehow be enlightened.

It's really tough when you know you're right but someone challenges you (and I mean that statement inward towards myself)

I'm Mike and I'm a free thinker.

Thanks for reading.

 

[truethat]

If you click on the person's post but keep the cursor closer to the right side of the space where her post is, it will reveal a drop down that says something like "Show less"

Just click that and it will remove her posts from your feed. Out of site out of mind

 

[NobbyNobbs]

I can tell you what worked for me, if you like. I was in a similar situation. My father-in-law believes in telepathy, chemtrails, government conspiracies, alien visitations, and more. Every time he launched into a diatribe I might or might not have a response, but if I did it was too little too late.

Then one day I stumbled on a webite: www.randi.org. I started by eagerly devouring every back issue of Swift. Then I registered on the forum. For many, many months I just lurked. I wasn't consciously researching, but hang around any group of experts long enough and you can't help but soak up something. I didn't become an expert on any particular subject, but I soon found I had learned to debate.I could now spot a logical fallacy (and even name a few) and was armed with a tool or two like Sagan's baloney detection kit. I soon found that I didn't need a lot of cold hard facts. With these skills and a little common sense, I was soon poking enough holes that my father-in-law would sink himself with his own arguments. At this point, he never brings up woo subjects.

My advice is to stick around, hang out awhile, and see what happens.

 

[wardenclyffe]

NobbyNobbs advice is good, but I would also remind you that discretion is (often) the better part of valor. Do you need to debate your neighbor? Would she appreciate it? There's something to be said about not engaging when doing so would make your life more unpleasant. If your neighbor is a sport and enjoys intellectual banter, then go for it. Study up and have a grand time. Otherwise, talk about lawns, kids, etc..

I'm not on facebook, but are you required to read everything that a facebook friend posts? Even if you don't have them on "ignore," you are still allowed to ignore them.

Ward

 

[Roma]

Same type of problem in reverse:

I am a Christian and have some atheist friends who post things that are offensive to me,
such as pictures of Jesus that have been altered in a sacriligious manner or comments that regard all Christians as some type of imbeciles.
I have never made any comments about atheists and I never try to convert anyone or post religious types of rants.
There are a few FB friends of mine whose posts I have put on "HIDE",
one because she is a Christian fanatic who completely annoys me with her sermons, another because of the offensive anti-Christian posts I don't want to see, and another because of a particular thing I don't want my Dad to read (he is a FB friend too).
Can't we all just get along for Pete Sake ? Try to be more tolerant.
99% of the time we don't even talk about our religion or whatever, we just talk about what we're doing or what is happening in our lives.
Do you really need to challenge your FB friend's beliefs ? Why is that person your friend anyway, couldn't you just "HIDE" her posts so that you don't have to see them ?

 

[Impartial Observer]

Can't we all just get along for Pete Sake ?

It would be nice.

Do you really need to challenge your FB friend's beliefs ?

I don't. I just wish I had known what to say at the moment of her challenges.

Why is that person your friend anyway, couldn't you just "HIDE" her posts so that you don't have to see them ?

Because good neighborly relations is very important to me and I don't have many friends. She's crazy cooky (you'd have to know her) but still she's a good person.

 

[arthwollipot]

You know, if you hide someone's posts, they never get any notification of that. They won't know if you hide them, and you can still be cheery and friendly in person.

 

[Impartial Observer]

right but then if she addresses me in a post or something and I don't respond to it, she'll know.

But, y'know, I think it's fine. If I can't put up with some conspiracy theory, love and light stuff, then I either shouldn't be reading or playing them or not on facebook anymore. Besides, there's room enough...

 

[truethat]

Who cares if she knows. People are busy, you don't have to comment on every post on your facebook page. Just don't say anything.

 

[chillzero]

You could respond with links to discussions of the topics at certain skeptical websites.

 

[Marduk]

my neighbor and I are facebook friends. She's always posting stuff about paranormal this, angels that, "love and light", "god loves you" and stuff about horoscopes and astrology as well as conspiracy theories.

Why is it even an issue, surely you can just ignore her on facebook and be nice to her in real life,

real life = what exists outside of facebook

 

[Sledge]

facebook

Found your problem.

 

[GrandMasterFox]

She then countered with a challenge; "what do you do to occupy your mind? And why do you like Star Trek?"

"I enjoy it, but I don't believe in it"

Problem solved.

 

[aquitaine]

Personally I have little patience for superstitous nonsense. The star trek line is interesting, mainly because it is essentially comparing her own beliefs with a work of fiction.

 

[Parasitic]

my neighbor and I are facebook friends. She's always posting stuff about paranormal this, angels that, "love and light", "god loves you" and stuff about horoscopes and astrology as well as conspiracy theories.

As a card-carrying atheist and being the free thinking rational-minded person I am, I would like to know how to deal with this situation.

Like I said, she's my neighbor and good neighborly relations are important to me. I don't want to unfriend her or hide her posts for fear of not having a friendly neighbor.

I told her once when she tried having me look up stuff about "indigo children" that I don't ascribe to such thing. She asked, "what else don't you believe in?" I told her that I didn't believe in angels, god, UFOs, bigfoot, Nessie, astrology and so on. She then countered with a challenge; "what do you do to occupy your mind? And why do you like Star Trek?"

I guess I'm not that quick a thinker and would have defended my position tooth and nail against her beliefs had I been quick with my reply and been smart about it. All I could do was nod and feign interest.

Looking back, I would have challenged her horoscopes with the fact that they could apply to anyone no matter their astrological sign and other such things that one realizes they should have said but didn't. All I can do now is sort of be passive about it and post to my facebook wall some Captain Disillusion and Thunderf00t videos in the hopes that she'll watch and somehow be enlightened.

It's really tough when you know you're right but someone challenges you (and I mean that statement inward towards myself)

I'm Mike and I'm a free thinker.

Thanks for reading.

It's all up to you. What is more important, your beliefs or your neighbor?

In my opinion, Neighbors come and go, My beliefs will stick with me forever.
But at the same time, Just because she doesn't believe the same things you do, Does not mean that you guys cannot be friends.

But also, If she is trying hard to push something on you, Then she isn't thinking the same way.

 

[SpuriusMaximus]

TBH, I'm not sure I understand the link between your neighbour's beliefs and her challenge. Or why is that kind of challenge a problem at all. Seems to me like a pretty straightforward question, and _possibly_ not even a challenge at all, but really asking about your interests. Or at least it can be answered as such anyway.

What do you occupy your mind with? I'm sure you must have some brain activity of one kind or another. Just because you don't subscribe to her interest in woo and CT topics, doesn't mean there are no other interests for you to have, and surely you must have some. I can't even help you there, as you know that part about yourself better than I could possibly know you.

Why do you like Star Trek? Well, why do you? I'm sure you could whip up a list of stuff you like and stuff you don't like about it, if you were asked by another trekkie, so why not give her the same list? Even if you're the thoroughly idealistic kind of trekkie, stuff like "because I believe in the good in everyone and that maybe one day we'll all work together for the common good" isn't going to rub many people the wrong way. Some may think "clueless puppy", but not find it fundamentally offensive.

On the other hand, if you just want a Maginot line of defense, humour at one's own expense can deflect most questions (short of someone really determined to get past it, like was the case with the real Maginot line) without coming across as offensive. E.g., "dude, I'm a nerd. Do I need a reason to like SF? I mean, space ships, hot aliens and immature guys playing soldiers? What's not to like? "

 

[arthwollipot]

"dude, I'm a nerd. Do I need a reason to like SF? I mean, space ships, hot aliens and immature guys playing soldiers? What's not to like? "

FTW!

 

[TubbaBlubba]

This is why I do not use Facebook and never will.

 

[Soapy Sam]

Is she hot?

(Well, somebody had to ask).
My 2 cents is- if you don't have problems, don't go looking for them. If her comments are too intrusive or upsetting, tell her so. Make it clear that you dislike wild speculation on complex issues in the absence of hard evidence and you like science fiction because it is fiction .

I'd also agree with all Nobby said.

 

[AvalonXQ]

She seems like she might be willing to talk about belief and skepticism. It might be reasonable to explain the lack of evidence of some specific topic -- I'd recommend astrology. See if she'd be open to a demonstration on the astrology issue.
The test is simple: you agree on a set of daily horoscopes, then you sanitize and mix up the twelve horoscopes each day and ask her to tell you which of the twelve reflected her day. See how often she gets it right.
If you turn it into a fun activity, especially if it's about something that she probably views more as entertainment than as core to her beliefs, you may have an "in" to her on skepticism.