10 most absurd things in GOP state platforms

These are not actual planks in the platform, but proposals for planks.
The stand the same chance the Sisters of Charity's stockholder proposals* always did at Martin Marietta Stockholder meetings: Zero.

*-that Martin Marietta decline contracts for weapons systems capable of delivering Nuclear Warheads...
 
There's really not much to learn about anything from that list. It simply is a demonstration that if you look, you'll find crazy.

I'm sure if we look, we'll find democrats who wish to ban eating meat, wish to tear down the pharmaceutical industry and so forth.
 
These are not actual planks in the platform, but proposals for planks.

Not that I can tell. The links in that article lead to the actual, official, formal state party platforms.

For instance, the Republican Party of Minnesota - 2010 Standing Platform clearly states:

To that end, members of the Minnesota House and Senate should introduce and support legislation defining conception as: “when the DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) of Mankind is joined.”

Whatever the heck that means.


more:

We support protecting the right to religious expression for all peoples, including the public display of the Ten Commandments and the right to prayer at government events in the name of a specific deity.

in other words: repeal the first amendment.



We support legislation prohibiting the USDA, the Minnesota Board of Animal Health, and the Minnesota Department of Agriculture from requiring federal and state premise and individual identification on all livestock animals used for small farm market, private, or individual use.

So they can't trace that diseased cow to its source.


We are firmly against the establishment of universal pre-school programs in Minnesota. We believe that there should be no universal health screening of students in K-12 schools, pre-schools and in early infancy.

Yeah, just let them eat that lead based paint, have bad teeth and squint because they can't see the board.


We should continue to encourage the voluntary expression of religious beliefs and traditions of students. Specifically, educators who discuss creation science should be protected from disciplinary action and science standards should recognize that there is controversy pertaining to the theory of evolution.


That's just what we need, more wackos pushing their absurd theories down our children's throats.


Minnesota’s laws governing marriage should be amended to offer a ‘Covenant Marriage’ option, entailing extensive premarital counseling and limits on divorce.

A first step to making divorce illegal, I'm sure.


We are against amnesty for illegal aliens,
including any program that will allow illegal aliens to remain in the United States, and we should continue with deportation. Also, children born to illegal aliens inside the United States should not automatically obtain citizenship.


i.e. repeal the 14th amendment.


We must effectively limit the amount of access that illegal immigrants have to our society including employment, public benefits, scholarships, subsidies of any kind, driver’s licenses, permits, identification cards or taxpayer identification numbers.

However, we oppose participation in the “The Real ID Act.”

I know, maybe we should require all immigrants to wear special, colored patches on their clothes so that we can identify them on sight. say pink triangles, stars, diamonds, etc.

As Republicans, we oppose the Law of the Seas Treaty (L.O.S.T.), any movement toward a North American Union including any NAFTA superhighway, and the ratification of the UN Rights of the Child
Treaty.

That superhighway thing again. I'm surpised they don't mention the Amero.

Oh, wait, that's in the Texas platform.
 
I am begining to see less daylight between the GOP, the teabaggers and Alex Jones. They seem to have the same basic concerns.

Somebody has their tinfoil on dull-side-out.
 
2010 STATE REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM (Texas)

Does Texas represent the American Conservative? Apparently so from the first line:
The embodiment of the conservative dream in America is Texas.

We also urge
the Texas Legislature and the United States Congress to enact legislation prohibiting any jurisdiction from allowing any substitute or parallel system of Law, specifically, but not limited to, Sharia Law, to be recognized which is not in accordance with the Constitutions of Texas or of the United States of America.

As if anyone has actually proposed that.

Environment, Property Ownership, and Natural Resources – We reaffirm our belief in the constitutional concept of the right to own property without governmental interference.

Where is that in the Constitution?

We believe . . . in eliminating the Endangered Species Act.

Of course. Kill ‘em all. Hasten the Rapture.

Livestock and Pet Locations – We oppose a mandatory national animal identification system requiring registration of all animals, of animal owners and their properties, including GPS coordinates and the use of RFID technology.

They don’t want to be caught selling that mad cow.

Banning the Use of Red Light Cameras – We oppose the manner in which alleged vehicle violations are documented and fines levied against individuals without proof of their having been the driver of the offending vehicle and we call for a ban on Red Light Cameras in the State of Texas.

OK, I have to agree with them on this one.

Further, we urge Congress to withhold Supreme Court jurisdiction in cases involving abortion, religious freedom, and the Bill of Rights.

Why don’t you just urge for a Constitutional amendment eliminating the Supreme Court while you area at it.


Ten Commandments – We oppose any governmental action to restrict, prohibit, or remove public display of the Decalogue or other religious symbols.

Just call for the repeal of the first amendment while you are at it also.

American English – We support adoption of American English as the official language of Texas and of the United States.

Anyone using the words “blimey,” “crikey,” or any other non-AMERKIN words will be shot on sight. All official documents must use the terms "you all," "pard" and "dang nab it."

We urge the Legislature to rescind no–fault divorce laws.

Yeah, like that’ll ever happen.

Texas Sodomy Statutes – We oppose the legalization of sodomy. We demand that Congress exercise its authority granted by the U.S. Constitution to withhold jurisdiction from the federal courts from cases involving sodomy.
. . . .
Age of Consent – We support raising the age of consent for consensual sex to 18 years.

Holy 1930’s Batman. Talk about pushing the roll back.

ObamaCare – We urge the Congress to defund, repeal, and reject the national healthcare takeover, also known as “ObamaCare” or any similar legislation.

It’s only called that by you wackos.

Immunizations - All adult citizens should have the legal right to conscientiously choose which vaccines are administered to themselves or their minor children without penalty for refusing a vaccine. We oppose any effort by any authority to mandate such vaccines or any medical database that would contain personal records of citizens without their consent.

In other words, they want to roll back to the good old days when polio, TB, measles, and other preventable diseases were rampant and common..


We urge the Legislature, Governor, Commissioner of Education and State Board of Education to remind administrators and school boards that corporal punishment is effective and legal in Texas.

Physical abuse is effective?

Controversial Theories – Realizing that conflict and debate is a proven learning tool in classrooms, we support objective teaching and equal treatment of all sides of scientific theories, including evolution, Intelligent Design, global warming, political philosophies, and others. We believe theories of life origins and environmental theories should be taught as challengeable scientific theory subject to change as new data is produced, not scientific law. Teachers and students should be able to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of these theories openly and without fear of retribution or discrimination of any kind.

I see what you did there. . .

United Nations – We believe it is in the best interest of the citizens of the United States that we immediately rescind our membership in, as well as all financial and military contributions to, the United Nations.

One World Government Organizations – We oppose a one-world government in direct opposition to our basic principles and eroding our sovereignty. We oppose the implementation of one world currency.

Alex Jones lives in Texas, doesn’t he?
 
These are not actual planks in the platform, but proposals for planks.
The stand the same chance the Sisters of Charity's stockholder proposals* always did at Martin Marietta Stockholder meetings: Zero.

*-that Martin Marietta decline contracts for weapons systems capable of delivering Nuclear Warheads...
Wups--it seems you spoke too soon.

The links right there in the article go to the actual texts of state GOP platforms that have been adopted.

If the examples provided already aren't enough, this is from the Maine GOP platform "Adopted by the Maine Republican State Convention on May 8, 2010":

VI. To Secure the Blessings of Liberty:
a. Restore a vigorous grounding in the history and precepts of liberty, freedom, and the constitution to the educational process. As Thomas Jefferson said, “If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.”
i. Eliminate the Department of Education and restore schools to local control as specified in the constitution.​
b. Repeal and prohibit any participation in efforts to create a one world government.​
 
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Anyone using the words “blimey,” “crikey,” or any other non-AMERKIN words will be shot on sight.

Well, I guess they can't throw them into the hoosegow (from the Spanish "juzgado"), so what choice do they have?
:D
 
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Not that the Minnesota DNC platform for 2008-10 is significantly less self-destructive, just in a different way.

http://www.namihelps.org/DFL-Party-Platform.pdf


Is refusing a blind person to be a Taxi driver discrimination on the basis of disability? I'm just asking because of the empathic "any" in the platform ...

(we support) Government interference in all matters related to the control of one’s own body, including protection of the rights of women to bear children, practice birth control and obtain safe and legal abortions, and the rights of patients and their families, guardians, and physicians to honor a decision not to extend life by artificial means.

(we support) Abolition of capital punishment, and freedom from unreasonable searches, seizures and surveillance contrary to our constitutional rights.

Let's only kill people whose crime is to exist in the first place. That's way worse than killing a bunch of people and eating their children, after all.

(we oppose) Disposal of hazardous wastes below ground.

Yes, let's dispose of all our hazardous wastes above ground, which is much safer for us. Right?

(we oppose) Nuclear power, as it is not a viable energy source.

Yes, let's use the wonderful oil and coal instead. They've been proven to be viable, safe and clean sources of energy, with nearly infinite supply. That said, I'm sure the US Navy and about 70% of France would disagree. Among others.

(we support)
Full funding of Medicare and Medicaid.
Full funding and protection of retirement programs

Let's spend even more money. You proposed a balancing of budget somewhere down the line, but about half of the platform is about increasing spending in this or that area. That doesn't seem to dissuade you.

(we support)
Free elections and democracy.
Foreign aid that helps people achieve economic self-sufficiency.
Fair trade policies based on mutual understanding of each country’s problems and culture.

(we oppose)All forms of United States exploitation in foreign countries, and any attempts to dictate their political systems.

So ... um ... how does this work, exactly??

(we support) Native American tribes’ rights to self-government and the generation of revenue to serve their people.

Some people deserve to be privileged above all others based on their nationality alone. That "no discrimination" clause above is really just for show, I guess.

(we support) Israel’s right to exist within secure borders, Palestinian rights to self-determination, and continued peace efforts in the Middle East.

A self-contradicting point in itself.

(we support) Taxing all income producing property owned by tax-exempt organizations, at the same rate as other income producing property.

Let's give religious organizations a very good reason to classify themselves as a business and have them actively push certain political options. Yes, that is a wise decision which will undoubtedly support the separation of church and state, which you support.

Granted, not all points are bad. But about half are rather awkward.

Lesson? If you set out to find a party that has no absurd positions you've already failed.

McHrozni
 
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We also urge the Texas Legislature and the United States Congress to enact legislation prohibiting any jurisdiction from allowing any substitute or parallel system of Law, specifically, but not limited to, Sharia Law, to be recognized which is not in accordance with the Constitutions of Texas or of the United States of America.

You want to enact legislation that says the Constitution must be upheld? :confused:

Uhh...I think we have that covered.
 
You want to enact legislation that says the Constitution must be upheld? :confused:

Uhh...I think we have that covered.

This reminds me a bit of Arizona passing a law to cut off state funding to schools with classes that advocate treason. Is that really a problem? And don't we already have laws against that?

I suspect they're trying to poison the well by painting their political opponents as those who want to impose Sharia law in Texas.
 
Is refusing a blind person to be a Taxi driver discrimination on the basis of disability? I'm just asking because of the empathic "any" in the platform ...

No. "Discrimination," as used in the platform, referrs to denial of a job, on an arbitrary basis, to a qualified person.

Let's only kill people whose crime is to exist in the first place. That's way worse than killing a bunch of people and eating their children, after all.[?Quote]

Totally pulled out of the Rushblob's underwear.

Yes, let's dispose of all our hazardous wastes above ground, which is much safer for us. Right?

Well, DUH! It isn't in the aquifer if it is above ground, is it?

Yes, let's use the wonderful oil and coal instead. They've been proven to be viable, safe and clean sources of energy, with nearly infinite supply.

It will be a while before we can do without fossil fuels. It will be longer than any of us have left on earth for a nuke plant to pay for itself and then to become less-than-lethal to a cockroach at the end of its serviceability.

That said, I'm sure the US Navy and about 70% of France would disagree. Among others.

Navy hasn't many other options, and France is...well..France. That they elected Sarkozy indicates that they may be in decline intellectually.

Let's spend even more money. You proposed a balancing of budget somewhere down the line, but about half of the platform is about increasing spending in this or that area. That doesn't seem to dissuade you.

Promises made to working people MUST be kept. That the fat class think that the country will shrivel and die if the Shrub's tax give-aways are clawed back is a delusional belief. The pensions need to be defended, to the last drop of investor-class blood, if need be. The fat class would not be fat but for the contributions that the working class made to society.



So ... um ... how does this work, exactly??

We stop telling other countries who they can elect. We stop dangling loans in front of tin-pot dictators on the condition that they open their markets to our corporations, regardless what it does to small businesses, or how much land is taken out of food production to feed the people. We don't invade vulnerable countries just because their tin-pot dictator tried to off POTUS who tried to off the tin-pot dictator.

Some people deserve to be privileged above all others based on their nationality alone. That "no discrimination" clause above is really just for show, I guess.

The only alternative would be to nullify the treaties by which we got the land and give it all back to the indigenous peoples. They got really screwed on the treaties. They were supposed to enjoy the use of the land "except where staked and cultivated" for "as long as the rivers shall run."

How were they supposed to know that we would stake and cultivate the beaches and the shallow water and make the rivers stop running?

Let's give religious organizations a very good reason to classify themselves as a business and have them actively push certain political options. Yes, that is a wise decision which will undoubtedly support the separation of church and state, which you support.

Well, we're working on the part about getting business out of government, too. First, though, it looks like we will have to wait for one rightwhacker idiot on the Supreme Court to quit or croak.
 
Granted, not all points are bad. But about half are rather awkward.

Lesson? If you set out to find a party that has no absurd positions you've already failed.

McHrozni

Well there is absurd and there is absurd. I'll concede some of the Democrats' points may be destructive in the long run or counterproductive or downright goofy, but the ones you list don't really rise to the level of the folks in Maine fighting a one-world government. Addressing an issue that does not exist is rather absurd - and doing so at the wrong jurisdictional level adds to the humor. Are the Illuminati really going to say, "our plans for a one world government were going fine until Maine passed legislation outlawing a one world government - curses, foiled again."

And while you may find the idea of fully funding Medicare and Medicaid somewhat silly, don't you agree that abolishing federal income tax (as the Montana Republicans want to do) is quite a bit sillier?


ETA: I don't want to engage in special pleading. I suspect that there are planks in state Democratic platforms that are just as absurd as the ones cited in the OP. I'm just pointing out that they haven't been listed yet.
 
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