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Are the crucifixion nails of Jesus in Europe?

Wow, plenty of damning material for the Inquisition to get their fire irons hot for in this thread!
 
Then there should have been five nails for each one total = 15, where are all the other nails?


Only one nail was used for the feet of each thief. Three nails for the hands and feet of each thief plus one for the sign equals four. So there are originally 13 nails: 4 for Dimas, 5 for Jesus, and 4 for Hestas. One nail was thrown into the sea when Pontius Pilate died during the First Century AD leaving 12 nails only that were excavated by Santa Elena during the Fourth Century AD.
 
Only one nail was used for the feet of each thief. Three nails for the hands and feet of each thief plus one for the sign equals four. So there are originally 13 nails: 4 for Dimas, 5 for Jesus, and 4 for Hestas. One nail was thrown into the sea when Pontius Pilate died during the First Century AD leaving 12 nails only that were excavated by Santa Elena during the Fourth Century AD.
Incorrect. Account for the thirty extant nails. You heard me 30. You cannot, but I can.

What really happened at the time was not only that it was Pontius Pilate who was crucified in place of Jebus, but that Jebus had an evil plan for world domination by means of cloning himself. Pilate, Dimas and Hestas were the most well known of the clones, but there were actually 10 of them crucified on that day, each with 3 nails.

The extra nail was actually borked by the underpaid chippy doing the nailing, so he simply chucked it in the sea. Of course, in those days, sewage treatment was non-existant, and as luck would have it, it snagged on a Roman condom and floated all the way to Paris. Paris being located at the time between Judea and Spain. Subsequently, when the Ottoman empire relocated the entirety of Paris from the center of the Mediterranean to norther Europe, the reject nail was also moved.

Back in Judea, the Pharisees set out to sea with Jebus in captivity, Pilate having been literally nailed, not entirely sure what to do. As they sailed, Jebus reinvigorated his world domination plan and restarted his clone program. The Pharisees decided to let him create just one more clone before tossing him over the side, thus allowing them to return an apparent Pilate to Rome before quietly skulking away with nobody the wiser.

Although TPTB are still suppressing this hidden knowledge 2000 years later, some brave souls have tried to reveal the truth. Despite the fact that Hollywood is a Pharisee controlled operation, famed filmmaker George Lucas revealed the truth in his seminal work "Attack of the Clones". All of the clues to the obvious truth are contained therein.

Did you know that the original working title of that movie was "Jesus: Clonemaster of the Gods"?

Prove me wrong.
 
So, when Pontius Pilate washed his hands and sealed Jesus fate, I'd like to know what kind of soap he used.

Getting grit off a Golem has got to be tricky. When do you stop?
 
The extra nail was actually borked by the underpaid chippy doing the nailing, so he simply chucked it in the sea. Of course, in those days, sewage treatment was non-existant, and as luck would have it, it snagged on a Roman condom and floated all the way to Paris. Paris being located at the time between Judea and Spain.

:confused: Is this before or after the lizards from Niburu sank Atlantis?
 
Only one nail was used for the feet of each thief. Three nails for the hands and feet of each thief plus one for the sign equals four. So there are originally 13 nails: 4 for Dimas, 5 for Jesus, and 4 for Hestas. One nail was thrown into the sea when Pontius Pilate died during the First Century AD leaving 12 nails only that were excavated by Santa Elena during the Fourth Century AD.


You should read some Greek or Roman mythology. It's a lot more interesting and entertaining than this nonsense.
 
Only one nail was used for the feet of each thief.


Who removed them and why?



Three nails for the hands and feet of each thief plus one for the sign equals four.


What sign?



So there are originally 13 nails: 4 for Dimas, 5 for Jesus, and 4 for Hestas.


Why did Jesus get an extra nail? This not only contravenes the spirit of the prophecy of Isaiah 53:12 (if we regard the story as being a work of fiction) but makes no sense in terms of the Romans who were doing the deed since they certainly had no reason to consider him a special snowflake (if we regard the story as factual).



One nail was thrown into the sea when Pontius Pilate died during the First Century AD . . .


By whom?

Also, I see you've backed of from your claim that the Pharisees threw poor old Pilate into the sea when he died. Is this to be taken as tacit acknowledgement of the fact that Pilate left Judæa in approximately 37 CE and returned to Rome?



. . . leaving 12 nails only that were excavated by Santa Elena during the Fourth Century AD.


Jesus Haploid Christ, PeaceCrusader. Is there anything you don't believe?

Here is a very brief list of some of the things you are implying:


  • The followers of Jesus (including Joseph of Arimathæa, who owned the hole-in-the-wall) decided to preserve for all time not only the instrument of their hero's demise, but also that of his new BFF, Saint Dismas (or Dimas, as it's spelled in the Passionfruit Mahjong), and that of the damned-forever Gestas (Hestas in your comic book).

  • The Romans were happy to donate the crosses and nails to some itinerant Jewish persons who wanted them for an obscure ritual, despite the fact that iron in particular was at that time a very expensive resource and that the whole idea of cwucifixion was to teach the wabble a lesson and certainly not to help them accessowise their weird weligious pwactices.

  • All three crosses and their associated ironmongery were somehow transported to and placed within a small tomb that was allegedly sealed immediately after Jesus' interment.

  • The people who wrote Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23 and John 19 either never noticed any of the above goings on or they just forgot about it or decided that it wasn't worth mentioning.

  • Someone, at some time in the next decade or so when there's a nasty storm happening, turns to his buddies and says, "Hey, you know what might work?" They then break into the tomb (which Jewish people are oh-so-famous for doing) to recover a relic of someone that they themselves condemned to death for heresy and threw it into the (50-kilometres-distant) sea to appease whatever god they apparently thought was causing the ruckus.

  • 300-odd years after all this, Constantine's batty old lady on a self-appointed mission from god to find the One True Cross™ pays a local tour guide to show her where it is, and lo and behold, she discovers the very thing that she was looking for!

But wait, there's more! As well as apparently finding enough pieces of the One True Cross™ to build an ark and at least 30 of the 13 original Holy Nails™, at some stage after returning to Rome and having somehow heard the story of the missing nail being used to calm a storm 300 years earlier (despite that story not actually having been 'revealed' until some time in the latter part of the 20th century) tries her own hand at a bit of weather controlling and tosses two of them into the Adriatic.

Naturally one of these nails floats away and follows the long-established Floating Nail Route® across the Mediterranean, through the Strait of Gibraltar, along the Spanish Coast, across the Bay of Biscay, up the English Channel and upstream along the Seine all the way to Paris.


I've never come across a set of beliefs so totally devoid of reason - a set of beliefs which represent but one small chapter in the greater Bizarroverse of Ama™.

It's almost too tragic to be funny.

 
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You should read some Greek or Roman mythology. It's a lot more interesting and entertaining than this nonsense.

Indeed. I learned of Greek mythology late in My pre-teen years and developed an immediate crush on Athena. :heartbeat:

I think the story of Athena and Arachne is illustrative here, as regards the hubris of prophesying and rewriting history without a clear mandate from a genuine deity.
 
...
[*]Someone, at some time in the next decade or so when there's a nasty storm happening, turns to his buddies and says, "Hey, you know what might work?" They then break into the tomb (which Jewish people are oh-so-famous for doing) to recover a relic of someone that they themselves condemned to death for heresy and threw it into the (50-kilometres-distant) sea to appease whatever god they apparently thought was causing the ruckus. ...

Of all Pharaoh's comments, this particular one is the one that underlines the absurdity of the Nail Saga.

How would anyone in Jerusalem know of rough seas in the Med?
Why would any Jew imagine that a relic from the death of a failed Messianic claimant could have supernatural powers?

Yes, dr Carriers article Kooks and Quacks in the Roman Empire
http://infidels.org/library/modern/richard_carrier/kooks.html gives the impression just about any belief was possible then, but even so, Maria Alvaran's revelations are over the top.
 
And your evidence for all of this is...?


Are women required to go to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival, halleyscomet?

The Mosaic Law requires males to go to Jerusalem, as stated in the following:
Exodus 23:17 – “Three times in the year all thy males shall appear before the LORD God.”
Deuteronomy 16:16 – “Three times in a year shall all thy males appear before the LORD thy God in the place which he shall choose; in the feast of unleavened bread, and in the feast of weeks, and in the feast of tabernacles: and they shall not appear before the LORD empty.”

The Feast of Unleavened Bread or Passover Festival or Pesach is one of these pilgrimages to Jerusalem (Exodus 12:14-20, 23:15, 34:18; Deuteronomy 16:1-8). If it was the Passover, Mary would just have stayed at home and would not have joined Joseph and Jesus in this trip. Why then was Mary present in this trip? Because it was a census why they went to Jerusalem onto Bethlehem 8 km further south, and not the Passover Festival.
 
And your evidence for all of this is...?


The city of Nazareth in Galilee where the Holy Family lived is at the north of the country. About 100 km away to the south is Jerusalem in Judea, and about 8 km further south is Bethlehem, the city of King David. Because Joseph was of the house and lineage of King David, he had to go there with his spouse Mary and the child Jesus who was 12 years old then to register and be taxed.
 
The city of Nazareth in Galilee where the Holy Family lived is at the north of the country. About 100 km away to the south is Jerusalem in Judea, and about 8 km further south is Bethlehem, the city of King David. Because Joseph was of the house and lineage of King David, he had to go there with his spouse Mary and the child Jesus who was 12 years old then to register and be taxed.
That's what Luke says. Matthew knows nothing of all this, and seems to regard Bethlehem as the family's normal residence. He has them migrating to Nazareth later.

Luke's story is absurd. It was not a Roman practice to have people register in remote places where their ancestors had lived a thousand years previously, but on the spot in their own communities where the details of their possessions and wealth could not so easily be concealed. This remained the practice in, for example, the UK, where until recently an enumerator called at the home of each respondent to assist in the completion of the Census form.
 
I'll link to an earlier post of mine
http://www.internationalskeptics.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9730361&postcount=939

PC, if Lucas got the story of Jesus' sojourn in the Temple wrong, what makes you think Maria Alvaran got it right?


There was no New Testament then, pakeha. What the children of the apostles did was pieced together the notes of their parents and came out with the New Testament. I believe that if it was the words of Jesus, it was correct because it was inspired to them. If it was a narration, it may be true or not because the children were not eyewitnesses of the events. They just joined together the notes of their parents to make the story. So the story when Jesus was 12 years old was only pieced together.

I will tell you that it takes me time to transcribe what the spirit of Ama said. And this is in the language that I know, and they were even tape recorded. There are words that are unfamiliar to me so I put a question mark if it was the right word or I could not understand. It is not Maria Liwayway Alvaran who is speaking but the spirit of Ama. Remember, they are two different beings.
 

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