Then you are at odds with what Zimmerman claimed.
Zimmerman interwove speculation into his account. Such as when he speculated that Trayvon emerged from the bushes, despite not seeing it. It's him trying to make sense of how Trayvon reappeared there, at a time when he wasn't aware Trayvon had a temporary residence near that spot which might make for a more logical origin point.
When it comes to Zimmerman's belief or expressed belief that TM intended to kill him? How can he know that? He didn't have a direct connection to TM's brain. He's clearly speculating. Even if TM did say "you're gonna die tonight" there's no way for GZ to know if that was bluster or an expression of actual intent.
What matters is what GZ believed and what was reasonable for him to believe in that moment, with a large stranger on top of him, preventing his escape, and unresponsive to his screams and lack of fighting back. He was expressing in the clearest way a person can that he did not wish to participate in a "fight" - yet the one sided assault continued (according to his version and the evidence about who had injuries and who didn't) - if this person then also made a move, or was perceived to have made a move for his weapon? And/or said a threat? That just makes it even more clear.
In that place, in that time... in that situation GZ found himself in? Completely reasonable to fear for his life. More than reasonable.
When it comes to things like "I felt like he saw my gun" and "die tonight" and the number of head slams... the severity of mouth-covering (which I believe was an attempt to silence his screams, not suffocate him, btw) etc etc...
What I think you have going on here is a flawed, human man who was in fear trying to make sense of what happened to him, in many cases assuming the worst... and embellishing. I don't even think that embellishing is necessarily conscious. I think this is how memory works. I think he was terrified and the natural way the brain works in situations like that, for a lot of people anyway, is to over-estimate one's peril.
There may have been all sorts of very understandable, normal motivations and feelings behind that:
1.) Embarrassment as a man for not fighting back more effectively, or at all.
2.) Feeling guilty that he'd killed someone.
3.) Trying to reassure himself he'd done the right thing.
4.) Trying to get the cops on his side, to understand his fear and his situation, trying to make it sound really bad so they won't think he's a wuss for screaming like that... or won't think he's a murderer for defending himself...
etc etc etc. All of these and more, very likely going on at a subconscious level, GZ completely unaware or mostly unaware of them. These and many more.
Based on this, do you concede that perhaps Zimmerman might not have actually been in reasonable fear for his life because his memory of the event is expected to be unreliable?
Or is that a data point you are dead certain he remembers accurately?
Human memory is wildly unreliable. Not just GZ's... everyone's. Perhaps GZ's more than most.
That's why the physical evidence is so important, and despite what some may want to claim, it
is consistent, at least in a general sense, with what he describes.
Personally I feel it's FULLY consistent with what he describes, but I say "general sense" as a concession to some of you, because I do agree he may have wildly overestimated the number of head slams and otherwise exaggerated some of the aspects of what happened.
But I think what he describes is pretty close to what took place.
