Herbalife and friendships........

StankApe

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A friend of mine just created her "Herbalife Distributor" facebook page. Not knowing much about Herbalife I perused yee olde interwebz and discovered that it's been shown in double blind studies to be equal to placebo AND may contain lead in excess of what is allowed in some states.

So, I showed restraint and put this info up on MY PAGE (rather than hers as I thought that wouldn't be cool) and now she's royally pissed as she credits Herbalife with her weight loss rather than the fact that she put a ton of work in...

I suspect she didn't know any of this either.

What's a guy to do? should I take it down as most people who are going to buy Herbalife aren't interested in this stuff? Or should educating people outweigh (snicker) her potential profits?
 
I envy you your friendships, which are so great in number that you're seriously considering giving up this one over... Herbalife.

So. Let's recap:

1. She lost a lot of weight. That's awesome. As her friend you should be celebrating that. You should be looking forward to years of healthier activities, a more positive outlook on life, and all the other benefits that come with improved health through weight loss. Your friend has entered a much better place in her life, and you should be eager to join her there.

2. She used a placebo. So what? Protip: Placebos work. She paid the fee, and she feels like she got her money's worth. She's in a better place now. Do you really want to poop all over that?

3. Some states are more uptight about lead content than others. Herbalife products may trigger the paranoia of some states. You must have a lot of friendships, if that's a reason to jeopardize even one of them.

Dude, seriously. Show some compassion. Show some tolerance. Show some humanity. Your friend loses a lot of weight, and instead of celebrating that with her, you gotta be all like "cool story bro, but Herbalife is woo, so now we are at odds".

My advice to you is this: Whenever you have a choice between being a friend and being a woo-fighter, choose friendship. Choose friendship every single time.

If you simply must find an outlet for your more dickish skeptical urges, may I suggest the JREF forums as your venue of choice? This side of the A+ forums, it is probably the perfect place for it.
 
StankApe said:
So, I showed restraint and put this info up on MY PAGE (rather than hers as I thought that wouldn't be cool) and now she's royally pissed as she credits Herbalife with her weight loss rather than the fact that she put a ton of work in...
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I'd let her know that you think the weight loss was a result of her hard work, and nothing else. "You never needed Herbalife, with the way you [whatever she did to lose weight] you were going to lose weight with or without it. You shouldn't give them the credit for your hard work."
 
No one likes to be told he or she has been cheated. If she's really become a distributor, she's invested something more than just emotions and money into Herbalife, which could explain her hostility. Maybe she'll come around, maybe not. Either way, I guess talking has never been known to hurt.
 
Tristan Chi said:
Really?
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Really. If you find yourself in a situation where you really have no choice--say, you have to save your friend from life-threatening woo, even if it means the end of your friendship, then do what you have to do. There's really no choice there.

But when you do have a choice (e.g., between friendship and facebooking about the evils of Herbalife), choose friendship. How is this not obvious?
 
theprestige said:
I envy you your friendships, which are so great in number that you're seriously considering giving up this one over... Herbalife.

So. Let's recap:

1. She lost a lot of weight. That's awesome. As her friend you should be celebrating that. You should be looking forward to years of healthier activities, a more positive outlook on life, and all the other benefits that come with improved health through weight loss. Your friend has entered a much better place in her life, and you should be eager to join her there.

2. She used a placebo. So what? Protip: Placebos work. She paid the fee, and she feels like she got her money's worth. She's in a better place now. Do you really want to poop all over that?

3. Some states are more uptight about lead content than others. Herbalife products may trigger the paranoia of some states. You must have a lot of friendships, if that's a reason to jeopardize even one of them.

Dude, seriously. Show some compassion. Show some tolerance. Show some humanity. Your friend loses a lot of weight, and instead of celebrating that with her, you gotta be all like "cool story bro, but Herbalife is woo, so now we are at odds".

My advice to you is this: Whenever you have a choice between being a friend and being a woo-fighter, choose friendship. Choose friendship every single time.

If you simply must find an outlet for your more dickish skeptical urges, may I suggest the JREF forums as your venue of choice? This side of the A+ forums, it is probably the perfect place for it.
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no dude, SHE is the one who is pissed, I'm not considering giving up anything.

But ,she is a distributor of this crap now, and I think it's my duty to point out the pitfalls of this stuff before more people waste $200 a month on it
 
theprestige said:
Really. If you find yourself in a situation where you really have no choice--say, you have to save your friend from life-threatening woo, even if it means the end of your friendship, then do what you have to do. There's really no choice there.

But when you do have a choice (e.g., between friendship and facebooking about the evils of Herbalife), choose friendship. How is this not obvious?
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Alright. I was expecting a qualifier to "whenever" and "every single time". You provided it.

Not obvious to me as originally worded. The concept of "choice" is a subject of endless misconceptions, as shown in other threads around here.
 
theprestige said:
1. She lost a lot of weight. That's awesome. As her friend you should be celebrating that. You should be looking forward to years of healthier activities, a more positive outlook on life, and all the other benefits that come with improved health through weight loss. Your friend has entered a much better place in her life, and you should be eager to join her there.

2. She used a placebo. So what? Protip: Placebos work. She paid the fee, and she feels like she got her money's worth. She's in a better place now. Do you really want to poop all over that?

3. Some states are more uptight about lead content than others. Herbalife products may trigger the paranoia of some states. You must have a lot of friendships, if that's a reason to jeopardize even one of them.

Dude, seriously. Show some compassion. Show some tolerance. Show some humanity. Your friend loses a lot of weight, and instead of celebrating that with her, you gotta be all like "cool story bro, but Herbalife is woo, so now we are at odds".

My advice to you is this: Whenever you have a choice between being a friend and being a woo-fighter, choose friendship. Choose friendship every single time.
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I both agree and disagree with you. If a friend is doing something wooish that causes very little or no harm I would leave it alone.

There are degrees of woo, however that I am willing to accept. For example, what if someone decided to use homeopathic treatments for their childrens serious illness. Does one choose friendship over the child's wellbeing? I wouldn't. I would try not to be a dick about it so that person took my advice rather then put up a wall.
 
lopeyschools said:
I both agree and disagree with you. If a friend is doing something wooish that causes very little or no harm I would leave it alone.

There are degrees of woo, however that I am willing to accept. For example, what if someone decided to use homeopathic treatments for their childrens serious illness. Does one choose friendship over the child's wellbeing? I wouldn't. I would try not to be a dick about it so that person took my advice rather then put up a wall.
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If you think you don't have a choice, then do what you have to do. If you can do it without unnecessarily risking the friendship, so much the better.
 
StankApe said:
no dude, SHE is the one who is pissed, I'm not considering giving up anything.
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Doesn't sound like much of a friendship, if you're quibbling over "who started it".

She's pissed. That's generally not a state we want our friends to be in. What can you do to mitigate her current state?

If the friendship is worth saving, it's usually a good practice to figure out what you can do to save it, rather than focusing on what they're doing to put it at risk.

But ,she is a distributor of this crap now, and I think it's my duty to point out the pitfalls of this stuff before more people waste $200 a month on it
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Well, there you go. It seems like you've resolved the dilemma presented in your OP. Do what you need to do, and let the friendship (such as it is) fall where it may. Good luck!
 
It turns out that she read the links and has decided to ONLY sell the hair care and beauty products!

so mission accomplished (and she sent me an "I'm sorry" msg)

SCIENCE!!!!
 
theprestige said:
But when you do have a choice (e.g., between friendship and facebooking about the evils of Herbalife), choose friendship. How is this not obvious?
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I don't see them as mutually exclusive. To me, friendship requires a certain amount of honesty.

Isn't Herbalife an Amway product?
 
theprestige said:
Doesn't sound like much of a friendship, if you're quibbling over "who started it".

She's pissed. That's generally not a state we want our friends to be in. What can you do to mitigate her current state?
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Anger is a normal emotion for people to feel. I wouldn't want my friends to be angry all the time, but neither would I want them never to be angry. It's certainly not my responsibility to mitigate their feelings of anger in any event.
 
I dunno y'all. If you had a friend who decided to start selling homeopathic "medicine" and crystal healing kits wouldn't you feel an obligation to speak up?

I don't see much difference here.
 
Being a distributor for any of the MLM things is a virtually guaranteed money loser. The best way to handle being a distributor for one of these is to stop immediately and cut your losses. It would take a ****** friend to support this kind of thing.
 
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