The crucifixion of Jesus Christ

[Akuma Tennou]

The Holy Bible is not only the “granddaddy of all divine revelations” but it is the only one that came from the only true God.

please answer to this:

jesus hates possession, the only stories in the bible about possession are always done by demons and finishes on exorcism. he will NEVER talk to humans through that path, that's what demons do

the bible warns about wolves disguised as lambs but never of lambs disguised as wolves. why? like a lot of people here, i think you have more faith in the old bag than in your "god". admit it, the ww3 episode forced you to choose between god and her and you chose her. yes you have the right to believe in god and afterlife, you can decide what to do to go where you believe you'll go but, by the standard christian belief, you're an heretic. tell me, where do they go?

 

[Recovering Agnostic]

Ama revealed that Jesus received 5,455 lashes. Incredible.

And wrong. I happen to know that the true number was 5,454 lashes, a highly significant and prophetic number, formed by multiplying 6*9*101

6 is half of the tribes of Israel, to signify that the curtain would be torn in two
9 is one less than the number of commandments, to signify that the first commandment (you shall love the Lord your God) had not been obeyed
101 is the number of dalmatians, with obvious significance

Prove me wrong.

 

[Rincewind]

Of course more nails. How many "true nails of the cross" have been found? 10? 20? 50? Easilly enough to nail the cross together and then nail him to it.

Unless, of course, the Romans invented flatpack furniture and the cross came as a kit of parts, with blurred diagrams, badly translated instructions and a few spare nails.

Translated from Filipino, apparently...

 

[Rincewind]

And wrong. I happen to know that the true number was 5,454 lashes, a highly significant and prophetic number, formed by multiplying 6*9*101

6 is half of the tribes of Israel, to signify that the curtain would be torn in two
9 is one less than the number of commandments, to signify that the first commandment (you shall love the Lord your God) had not been obeyed
101 is the number of dalmatians, with obvious significance

Prove me wrong.

At last - something that makes sense...

 

[tsig]

And wrong. I happen to know that the true number was 5,454 lashes, a highly significant and prophetic number, formed by multiplying 6*9*101

6 is half of the tribes of Israel, to signify that the curtain would be torn in two
9 is one less than the number of commandments, to signify that the first commandment (you shall love the Lord your God) had not been obeyed
101 is the number of dalmatians, with obvious significance

Prove me wrong.

The square root of -1 doesn't exist this proves we know nothing about math so you're wrong. Just to make sure I asked the shrunken head of my 7th cousin (don't ask) and he confirmed that what I say is true.

 

[SezMe]

of course more nails. How many "true nails of the cross" have been found? 10? 20? 50? Easilly enough to nail the cross together and then nail him to it.

Unless, of course, the romans invented flatpack furniture and the cross came as a kit of parts, with blurred diagrams, badly translated instructions and a few spare nails.

:d

stop the presses! Ikea was in on it.

 

[PeaceCrusader]

Did you know that Quercus crucifera is an oak species with only two branches that form a cross with the trunk? Ka Apaz confirmed it, they have no leaves and are only 7ft tall, just enough to pin down on it a 6'8" godly guy

@Akuma Tennou, #266

I thought you were just pulling my leg, Akuma Tennou. I checked the Internet and there is really a Quercus crucifera, a silky oak species. I do not know how it looked like, whether it has “only two branches that form a cross with the trunk” or not. I just share to you that as a punishment of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Gumamela Celis in Heaven), she was given three seeds which she planted many years before she was born to an infertile mother (Saint Anne). Her father was the impotent San Joaquin. She was to become the mother of the son who will save the world.

This is where Quercus crucifera is found:
http://books.google.com.au/books?id...AEwAA#v=onepage&q="Quercus crucifera"&f=false

Quercus crucifera grows from altitude 800-1400 meters. Did you know that the approximate elevation of Jerusalem (Old City) where Jesus was crucified is 760 meters?
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem)

 

[Akhenaten]

@Akuma Tennou, #266

I thought you were just pulling my leg, Akuma Tennou. I checked the Internet and there is really a Quercus crucifera, a silky oak species. I do not know how it looked like, whether it has “only two branches that form a cross with the trunk” or not.

@ PeaceCrusader #307

Do you know that I own the Sydney Harbour Bridge? I just share to you that you can buy it from me if you have enough money.

Do you know that the approximate elevation of Sydney where the Sydney Harbour Bridge was built is sea level and that is why they need the bridge?

This is where the Sydney Harbour Bridge can be found:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_Harbour_Bridge

 

[Akhenaten]

I just share to you that as a punishment of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Gumamela Celis in Heaven), she was given three seeds which she planted many years before she was born to an infertile mother (Saint Anne)

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[Astreja]

She was to become the mother of the son who will save the world.

"The son" is either mythical, or a bunch of crushed bone shards in a mass grave somewhere under the streets of modern-day Jerusalem. Fictional people can't save the world. Dead people can't save the world. It's all up to us.

But a quick read through Revelation is quite sufficient to point out that the Jesus of the Bible doesn't want to save the world; he wants to destroy it. Mary should have kicked the Holy Spook in its ethereal crotch, or popped 'round to the chemist for a morning-after pill.

 

[PeaceCrusader]

The currently celebrated dates were deliberately chosen to rival various pagan festivals by the early christian church, so as better to supplant those earlier pagan beliefs. It matters not what ill justified dates you imagine.

You do not believe this at all. You believe Ama trumps the bible.
You are what is described in the bible as a heretic.

You got the date wrong by 33 years, so no.

What months did you omit again?

Good for them. Relevance?


Relevance?


The account that the gospels cannot agree on? That will be fun.

Many claims, no evidence.

@abaddon, #298

Why do I say that “The Holy Bible is not only the ‘granddaddy of all divine revelations’ but it is the only one that came from the only true God”? Because John 14:6 states: “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” So if one wants to go to Heaven where the Father is, he/she has to go through Jesus. He/she has to believe in Jesus and follow His commandments.

You are correct, abaddon, that the difference is about 33 years. Jesus was born in 33 BC and not 1 BC. 1 BC was when He was crucified and died and not about 33 AD. So Jesus was only 32 solar year old when He died. Remember that AD and BC are using the solar calendar with 365.2422 days per solar year and not a lunar calendar with 354/355 days per lunar year.

What months did I omit? I did not omit anything. I said that “Passover was in the month of Tishri (the seventh month) were in 8 BC, 7 BC, and 6 BC.” When Jesus was crucified in 1 BC, Passover was in the month of Av (the fifth month from Nisan). Remember that the Israelites were using two kinds of calendars during the time of Jesus: a religious purely lunar calendar used since their departure from Egypt and a civil lunisolar calendar which they adopted from the Babylonians when they were exiled in Babylon in the seventh century BC.

What is the relevance of the Egyptians using a civil solar calendar and a religious purely lunar calendar? That the Israelites who came out of Egypt knew only about the solar calendar and the purely lunar calendar. They did not know about a lunisolar calendar or were not using one. They only learned about the lunisolar calendar in their exile in Babylon when Jerusalem fell to the Babylonians in the seventh century BC.

 

[Akhenaten]

@abaddon, #298

Why do I say that “The Holy Bible is not only the ‘granddaddy of all divine revelations’ but it is the only one that came from the only true God”?

As a distraction from answering the question about your heresy in believing the words of the old crone take precedence over it.

<irrelevant preaching>

You are correct, abaddon, that the difference is about 33 years.

You don't say.

Jesus was born in 33 BC and not 1 BC.

You have no evidence for either date.

<more calendrical flummery>.

What is the relevance of the Egyptians using a civil solar calendar and a religious purely lunar calendar?

None. Just like 99% of everything you post.

That the Israelites who came out of Egypt knew only about the solar calendar and the purely lunar calendar.

The Israelites were never in Egypt.

 

[Astreja]

Aristeo, continuously reasserting the same unproven assertions is not evidence.

Quoting from your own "calculations" is not evidence.

Quoting from transcripts of a senile fraud artist pretending to be a god is not evidence.

And I repeat: If you really do believe that only the Bible is the work of "the one true god," you must immediately discard and denounce every scrap of information you have received from the false prophet Ka Apaz. If you do not, you are clearly in violation of at least one commandment ("Thou shalt have no other gods before Me").

 

[PeaceCrusader]

"The son" is either mythical, or a bunch of crushed bone shards in a mass grave somewhere under the streets of modern-day Jerusalem. Fictional people can't save the world. Dead people can't save the world. It's all up to us.

But a quick read through Revelation is quite sufficient to point out that the Jesus of the Bible doesn't want to save the world; he wants to destroy it. Mary should have kicked the Holy Spook in its ethereal crotch, or popped 'round to the chemist for a morning-after pill.

@Astreja, #310

John 20:29 states: “Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.”

That is why more than a billion people around the world believe in Jesus even though they have not seen Him.

Jesus died when He was crucified. He ascended to Heaven body and soul. So we will not find any of His “crushed bone shards in a mass grave somewhere under the streets of modern-day Jerusalem.” He will return and will be seen by all, those living during His return and those that have died. The day He returns will be Judgment Day.

 

[Akhenaten]

@Astreja, #310

John 20:29 states: “Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.”

That is why more than a billion people around the world believe in Jesus even though they have not seen Him.

Jesus died when He was crucified.

Logical, but lacking any evidence.

He ascended to Heaven body and soul.

This is both illogical and without evedence.

So we will not find any of His “crushed bone shards in a mass grave somewhere under the streets of modern-day Jerusalem.”

Probably not.

He will return and will be seen by all, those living during His return and those that have died. The day He returns will be Judgment Day.

This is a fairytale.

 

[Shiner]

This is where Quercus crucifera is found:
http://books.google.com.au/books?id...AEwAA#v=onepage&q="Quercus crucifera"&f=false

Quercus crucifera grows from altitude 800-1400 meters.

Umm, no.
Did you apply the same "research" that you apply to your bible study ?

 

[Astreja]

John 20:29 states...

...nothing that I actually believe. I've told you repeatedly that I consider the Bible to be a work of fiction.

That is why more than a billion people around the world believe in Jesus even though they have not seen Him.

Logical fallacy: Argumentum ad populum. Truth is not determined by the number of people who believe silly things. It is entirely possible that all the people who believe in Jesus are wrong.

Jesus died when He was crucified. He ascended to Heaven body and soul.

That's ridiculous. There's no evidence for heaven, and if you've got a book that claims that Jesus ascended to heaven, I'm willing to bet My very existence that I'm right and the book is wrong, wrong, wrong.

He will return and will be seen by all, those living during His return and those that have died.

I predict that this will never happen. It's far more likely (probability 0.999...) that the Earth will be destroyed by the expansion of the sun in approximately 5 billion years.

The day He returns will be Judgment Day.

(At this point, a wry smile wanders onto Springy G's face...)

No, Aristeo. You see, back on April 2, 2001 My team of gods, archmagi, dragons and 'Ngi (bipedal space-faring felines from the Pleiades) won the Apocalypse. We intercepted the dead as they rose from their graves, and trapped them in a dead-end valley, not far from the spot where Bill Maher was standing at the end of the movie Religulous. The ringleaders were carted off to Proxima Centauri, where they are currently awaiting trial on charges of attempted geocide.

As a direct consequence of the above, there is no longer any need for a Judgment Day. I've taken the liberty of cancelling it and replacing it with a potluck supper. (Please bring about 2 dozen siopao and a savoury sauce.)

 

[AdMan]

That is why more than a billion people around the world believe in Jesus even though they have not seen Him.

So what? That is just an argumentum ad populum, a fallacious argument.

I can find more people who don't believe Jesus was the son of God, the Messiah. I guess that means I win.

What does your holy spook/fraudulent medium have to say to that?

 

[abaddon]

So what? That is just an argumentum ad populum, a fallacious argument.

I can find more people who don't believe Jesus was the son of God, the Messiah. I guess that means I win.

What does your holy spook/fraudulent medium have to say to that?

What does the spook say?

A seven foot giant is collecting corpses in Britain, so there.

 

[pakeha]

... I just share to you that as a punishment of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Gumamela Celis in Heaven), she was given three seeds which she planted many years before she was born to an infertile mother (Saint Anne). Her father was the impotent San Joaquin. She was to become the mother of the son who will save the world.

This is where Quercus crucifera is found

PC, how close to Turkey is Jerusalem?
What in the KVJ leads you to imagine reincarnation exists?
Is reincarnation a belief in Philippine folk-lore?