I had a dream last night, re-occurring wakening's where I spent half the day acting pretty much normal (got ready for work, brushed my teeth, was quite happy I managed to throw my notes across the room straight into the bin (even if the bin moved to catch it), etc) then suddenly reality dissolved and I was in bed, just woken up. Happened 4-5 times. Once I even got to the point of finishing work and driving home.
I'm so glad its happening again now, and I'll wake up again soon, so what I post now doesn't matter as this is still a dream.
I've also woken up on the floor in my room before, only to get up and climb back into bed to find I'm already in it. I touched my leg, it felt warm and moved, startled, I looked at myself sleeping for a bit before getting majorly freaked out and ran down the stairs, before eventually calming down and deciding I should probably go back and investigate what on earth was happening. Cautiously, and reluctantly (so as not to wake myself up), I slowly eased back into bed, at which point everything went kinda fuzzy, and I woke up again.
I smoked 75mg nn-DMT freebase once, and reality dissolved. I could feel my consciousness expanding, leaving my material body behind. Within seconds it was the size of the earth, I was totally aware of everything inside the earth, not what was physically there, but the (what I would describe as) living energy connections that permeated from its core to its surface, which gave the impression of the earth as a whole, a sort of consciously created entity in its own right.
My mind kept expanding. Soon my mind was the universe. Time stopped. I felt like I had been there for eternity, and would be for ever. Pure self awareness, a sort of self introspection that revealed not an external universe I was viewing as an outsider, but the same universe, but as an internal self reflection of existence, that precluded the material one I had long ago left behind. I spoke to people. I looked at clusters. I could access information seemingly at will. Move about. I saw a
buddha type entity at one point, not physical but metaphysical, as if made of brilliant energy spectra crystals. Then, it started to subside. Slowly reality came back. And I was left with no more than typical non 'breakthrough' type hallucinatory effects of my real physical surroundings.
When I had a cardiac arrest at 13 years old I had a very similar experience, different in effects to an extent, but detachment to physical reality and perception of time also stopped. Things seemed bright, relaxing and very surreal. Then it was as if gravity was pulling me, but not in a specific direction, it was pulling me inwards in all directions; that's the only way I can explain the feeling. Until slowly I became more and more aware of myself, of the bleeps in the hospital and eventually I was back.
Of course this is the science section, so probably just totally made all of that up as it cant be scientifically proven, and the striking similarity innumerable people subjectively experience in similar situations are likely too just co-incidence. The very existence of dreaming states, hypnotic states, OBE states, transcendental states, psychedelic states, meditative states, indicates that there appears to be a fair degree of commonality among a fair number of individuals who attain these states, of which their veracity cannot be precisely evaluated at the present stage of our knowledge.
We just don't have a clue about consciousness, how it exactly effects the brain in such states, where is is and by what mechanisms it works, and why such striking similarities that seem to defy current explanation occur. Yes, some ideas have been put forward, and as interesting as noble as they are, most of the ones currently considered the best by the 'mainstream' scientists and journals that are proliferating such theories, are (to me) laughable on their face, and based on the typical materialist brain > mind can explain all conscious states misnomer, as types of 'random firing' 'malfunctions' 'warped memories recall', all sorts.
The states I described before (DMT, NDE) felt way more real to me than everyday reality. Ok. So how do we define reality? We can't, the only way we can is to cross reference with each others personal experiences of how subjectively real it feels to them. It comes down to the person.
Was it all an illusion? Yes.
Reality, or my experience.
Pick.
Its one of the greatest illusions in history, that science has not even begun to comprehend yet, and following down the path many people are, its gonna take a hell of a lot of time to people to even start to.
Someone pinch me now, need to wake up.
