Ann Rice trolls Twilight

[Skepticemea]

What's wrong with Cruise's portrayal ?

Wrong hair colour, for a start.

Neither Cruise or Pitt should have been anywhere near that film, terrible casting. That they were involved, I believe, was instrumental in the break up of Guns N Roses.

 

[Lamuella]

As I understand it, he's got a medical degree -- and yet because he looks seventeen, he's stuck in high school in Forks. This rather increases the bafflement level, because he's been attending the same school in Forks for four years and apparently no one has noticed that he looks exactly the way he did the first day of his freshman year.

he could wear his hair at different lengths and do other things to alter his appearance, I suppose.

 

[Lamuella]

VAE VICTUS!

Indeed. These are floppy-haired, simpering emotards. Even JWs Angel had a bloomin' nasty side. Where's the uncontrollable hunger, the appetite for death and control?

These are obviously not neo-con vampires.

I still maintain that the best vampire in post-1950s fiction is Cassidy in Garth Ennis's "Preacher" graphic novels.

 

[Belz...]

Wrong hair colour, for a start.

That's akin to MARVEL fans complaining about Heimdal's skin colour. Who cares ? I asked about portrayal.

 

[Skepticemea]

That's akin to MARVEL fans complaining about Heimdal's skin colour. Who cares ? I asked about portrayal.

Lestat (from memory, it's a while since I was a literature-challenged teen) was a walking contradiction. Indeed, the books, "Interview With A Vampire" and "The Vampire Lestat" by Rice have two wildly different histories for Lestat, as he "narrates" the second book and makes himself out to be more interesting and less desperate than he appears in the first.

Cruise can barely manage superficial. He appeared childish instead of erratic, petulant rather than sad and powerless instead of commanding. The character (were it to be done "justice") required a little more gravitas that the couch-hopper can provide. Nothing against Cruise other than his unsuitability for the part turned a reasonable yarn into a pop video.

All my own opinion, obviously. People are free to portay Abe Lincoln as an alien come to Earth to learn seamstressing, but they would be veering away from the common perception of the man.

 

[RobRoy]

Cruise can barely manage superficial. He appeared childish instead of erratic, petulant rather than sad and powerless instead of commanding. The character (were it to be done "justice") required a little more gravitas that the couch-hopper can provide. Nothing against Cruise other than his unsuitability for the part turned a reasonable yarn into a pop video.

Actually your complaints, "childish . . . petulant . . . powerless" all sound like Louis, and the opposite "erratic . . . sad . . . commanding" all sound like Lestat. I didn't like the movie, and haven't seen it in some time, but that was my take-away.

 

[Darat]

I always thought the casting should have been reversed, it is probably the only film of a book that I've ever felt strongly that they'd got the casting completely wrong.

 

[RobRoy]

So...Mormons* believe in vampires and werewolves mating with young humans (or vice versa - which is , I am told, how many people like their vice)

No. But there are enactments of Mormon doctrine and beliefs within the books concepts and characters.

Words of Wisdom I - Bella avoids coffee, alcohol, etc., as does Edward and the Cullen “family”.
Words of Wisdom II – Bella advises her father a couple of times to cut down on eating red meat.
Words of Wisdom III - Further the Cullen family are “vegetarian”, abstaining from the preferred diet of human blood and meat.
Cultural Mormon Female Status - "Good" Mormon women are expected to stay home and care for the household, moving from their parents' to their husband's. Bella takes care of two different parental households before she married Edward, never leaving home.
No pre-marital sex - Though not exclusive to Mormons, this is a pervasive doctrine with strong limits on dating, etc.
Perfect “sparkly” bodies I – According to Mormon doctrine, humans can become divine, and receive an “perfect” immortal body, often described as radiating light.
Perfect “sparkly” bodies II – The only path for a good Mormon girl to achieve divinity is to marry a good Mormon boy. He passes the gift of divinity from God to his wife/wives.
Forever - Mormon marriages are sealed “for time and all eternity”.
Lamanites/Jacob Black I – The BoM draws a direct link between the Mormons and the Native Americans, believing they are an intermix of the original Jewish-Mormon settlers and the native inhabitants.
Lamanites/Jacob Black II – The Lamanites, who turned to apostacy, almost naturally disliked the Nephites, who stayed true to God, similar to the Quileute natural dislike of the vampires, and subsequent warring on them.
Lamanites/Jacob Black III – Lamanites, were literally marked with darker skin, to denote their “wickedness”.
Babies are the Goal – One of the jobs of any divine couple of humans is to give birth to new souls to populate their world. Giving them stupid names like Renesmee "Nessie" Carlie Cullen is just par for the course.​

I can go on, but those are the major themes that leapt out at me from the very beginning.

 

[Cactus Wren]

he could wear his hair at different lengths and do other things to alter his appearance, I suppose.

I'll have to ask Mervin whether sparklepires' hair grows. The strong impression I've received, from her sporkings as well as from other criticism, is that Meyer genuinely feels her high-school years were the best of her life. (Bellzebub is heartbroken on her eighteenth birthday, because Deadward was changed when he was seventeen.)

 

[Skepticemea]

I was always too feart to pick up a Meyers novel and have no interest in watching Pattinson et al simper for 90 minutes, but what the mouhalabieh is this stuff about "sparkling"?

 

[FattyCatty]

Interview With The vampire is fun and readable. The Vampire Lestat is decent. Queen Of The Damned is all right. Bail before you get to The Tale Of The Body Thief.

I couldn't read Interview with the Vampire. It just wasn't interesting. I did read a Twilight book, but I've forgotten which one and anything about the content. I do recall that is seemed pretty juvenile/young adult.

For vampires and werewolves I'll go with Charlaine Harris and the Sookie Stackhouse series. I like the early Laurell K. Hamilton Anita Blake books, but she started getting pretty porny in the later books.

 

[RobRoy]

I was always too feart to pick up a Meyers novel and have no interest in watching Pattinson et al simper for 90 minutes, but what the mouhalabieh is this stuff about "sparkling"?

In Meyers' Twilight vampires don't avoid the sun because it causes them harm, but rather because their skin sparkles in the light, thus giving away their supernatural status.

 

[Skepticemea]

In Meyers' Twilight vampires don't avoid the sun because it causes them harm, but rather because their skin sparkles in the light, thus giving away their supernatural status.

I think I threw up a bit in my mouth.

I may have to read either Lindqvist's* or Matheson's take on the visceral to remove that nasty taste.

*If you've not read read "Let The Right One In" by John Lindvist, allow me to recommend it to you.

 

[RobRoy]

I think I threw up a bit in my mouth.

I may have to read either Lindqvist's* or Matheson's take on the visceral to remove that nasty taste.

*If you've not read read "Let The Right One In" by John Lindvist, allow me to recommend it to you.

<shrug> I like the concept. It's a different take on the vampire mythology, and I see nothing wrong with that. Writers who take chances can win or fail spectacularly. By most* measures, Meyers hit the jackpot.

I haven't read it, but I did watch the original film. The Marquis had a very interesting take on the whole movie, but I don't think he's around anymore to share. Such a shame.



*Kindly note I did not say "all" measures. Thanks!

 

[Macgyver1968]

In Meyers' Twilight vampires don't avoid the sun because it causes them harm, but rather because their skin sparkles in the light, thus giving away their supernatural status.

Ok...I've never read any of the books, and have seen about 5 minutes of the first movie on FX the other night. Maybe someone can explain this to me. Edward's skin sparkles in the sunlight...and he goes to high school..during the daytime. Why doesn't anyone notice his skin sparkling at school?

 

[RobRoy]

Ok...I've never read any of the books, and have seen about 5 minutes of the first movie on FX the other night. Maybe someone can explain this to me. Edward's skin sparkles in the sunlight...and he goes to high school..during the daytime. Why doesn't anyone notice his skin sparkling at school?

He goes to high school in the Pacific Northwest, specifically in a little town of Forks, Washington, where annual cloud cover is something like 364% of the year*. It's explained that on days when it's sunny, the Cullen family goes "camping".




ETA: *Actual average I just looked up is 212 days of rainfall each year.

 

[Skepticemea]

<shrug> I like the concept. It's a different take on the vampire mythology, and I see nothing wrong with that. Writers who take chances can win or fail spectacularly. By most* measures, Meyers hit the jackpot.

I haven't read it, but I did watch the original film. The Marquis had a very interesting take on the whole movie, but I don't think he's around anymore to share. Such a shame.



*Kindly note I did not say "all" measures. Thanks!

I am being a snob, of course. She's sold millions of books, but, judging by her readers I've witnessed on my commute, I would not form part of her target audience as I'm male, married and below 40 (as is my BMI).

 

[Piscivore]

That said, some of your accusations really can’t be overcome. After all when you’re dealing with vampire mythology, part of the appeal is their age. So the same kind of accusations can also be laid on Angel and Buffy, or Bill and Sookie, etc. Add to that, as I stated above, Meyers isn’t the greatest character writer. While Edward is supposed to be 104, only at very rare times does he actually come across with that kind of age. More often than not he’s just a hot, seductive teen crush who could just as easily grace the cover of “Sparkly 16 Magazine”. Vampirism and extreme-age were secondary characteristics for the novel, when they would be primary characteristics for anyone in the really-real world.

I thought Whedon handled it well with Angel/Buffy and Spike/Buffy. Because of her unique role as Slayer, she already had a ready-made relationship with both of them (and a role that involved her in the ancient mythos to which the vampires belonged and set her apart from other humans) , and there's not a lot of difference between enmity and love.

Bella on the other hand, were it not for the authorial interference, would be just another mopey teen in Edward's life.

 

[Lamuella]

<shrug> I like the concept. It's a different take on the vampire mythology, and I see nothing wrong with that.

the problem is that her "different take" is "Vampires are just like they're depicted in other books, except without any of the character building weaknesses"

 

[Damien Evans]

I couldn't read Interview with the Vampire. It just wasn't interesting. I did read a Twilight book, but I've forgotten which one and anything about the content. I do recall that is seemed pretty juvenile/young adult.

For vampires and werewolves I'll go with Charlaine Harris and the Sookie Stackhouse series. I like the early Laurell K. Hamilton Anita Blake books, but she started getting pretty porny in the later books.

From what I've read of the Sookie Stackhouse series, that started getting porny halfway through the first book.