HansMustermann
Penultimate Amazing
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
- Messages
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So while iron chariots are pretty well known by now as something that stops God (he'll probably crap a brick when he sees tanks
), let's look at another overlooked troop that apparently God couldn't help much about.
So, brothers and sisters, we open the good book to Judges, chapter 20. First of all, let's see what kind of powers are in conflict there
So the total recruit pool is 26,000 for Benjamin, vs 400,000 for Israel. Ouch. The odds don't look good for Benji. Save for those 700 odd super-snipers, that is, but come on, how much difference can 700 slingers do?
So you'd think God is at least vaguely aware that his guys are in a battle, since he even decides which tribe to go first. But apparently the Benjamites don't even need to hide behind their walls and wait for the siege to fizzle. They just sally forth and kill 22,000 Israelites, out of a probably much larger force. And remember that Benji's total recruit pool was 26,000. So that's some mighty smiting right there, and the guys who have God on their side are on the losing side of it.
... these guys just don't learn, do they?
Ok, this time God doesn't even have an excuse. These guys asked him whether to go to war, he told them to, and then apparently didn't help much. Although the Benjamites must have had some serious losses the previous day from their pool of 26,000 manpower total, they just plough through God's flock one more time and kill another 18,000.
SRSLY this time. He was just taking the piss the first two times, I guess
So the battle isn't going all that great on the third day either. In fact, we'll see soon how badly it had just went for Israel, in spite of the Lord's reassuring them that he's got their back. The only thing that turns the battle is that last sentence, where finally it dawns upon the Israelites to put more faith in sane tactics instead.
So out of whatever forces were sent on the third day, there are about 10,000 left. Presumably there were some very heavy losses in the first half of that battle. That or that's a FOURTH army who is now fighting a very "sore" battle. In fact, they're outnumbered 2.5 to one by now.
Err, no, the Lord didn't smite jack squat there, it was a plain old flanking that finally did it. To see how it went before that, with just the Lord's help, consider this:
- original recruit pool of Benji: 26,000 people
- people flanked and encircled in the final battle: 25,100 people
The first two days, and the first half of the third battle, apparently Benjamin lost a total of 900 soldiers to kill some 40,000 Israelites. That's a score that even Sparta would be proud of.
Except it gets funnier:
That, btw, is not an extra 25,000 Benjamites, that's a breakdown of the same 25,000 and where they fell.
And actually we see that even flanked and all, those had actually apparently lost just 100 people. Are these guys tougher than Spartans or what?
The battle only went downhill when yet another contingent of Israelites attacked and slaughtered the now unprotected city and set it on fire, at which point the Benjamites lose morale and flee, and are cut down while fleeing. Until that point, they were doing grrrreat against God's chosen.
Which wraps up the whole surreal episode. With all of God's promises of help and all, the God's people basically get cut down badly. They lose probably some 50,000+ people against a force of 26,000 people in open battle, not while storming a city, and actually for all those losses they only manage to kill some 1700 (including those left-handed super-snipers) before they finally demoralize the enemy by slaughtering their families and setting their city on fire.
And, then, of course, they credit God with doing the smiting when superior tactics had won the day.
But that makes God seem pretty unreliable, innit? When at equal tech level and outnumbering the enemy 8 to 1 you lose 50,000 to kill 1700, or even the total 26,700, and at that lose twice with extreme prejudice first... that's hardly the kind of thing that belongs on the resume of an omnipotent deity, is it?
So what stopped God there? Some 700 left-handed snipers? Well, I guess let's pray that the Al Qaeda doesn't start training left-handed snipers, or we're all screwed
), let's look at another overlooked troop that apparently God couldn't help much about.So, brothers and sisters, we open the good book to Judges, chapter 20. First of all, let's see what kind of powers are in conflict there
20:15 And the children of Benjamin were numbered at that time out of the cities twenty and six thousand men that drew sword, beside the inhabitants of Gibeah, which were numbered seven hundred chosen men.
20:16 Among all this people there were seven hundred chosen men lefthanded; every one could sling stones at an hair breadth, and not miss.
20:17 And the men of Israel, beside Benjamin, were numbered four hundred thousand men that drew sword: all these were men of war.
20:16 Among all this people there were seven hundred chosen men lefthanded; every one could sling stones at an hair breadth, and not miss.
20:17 And the men of Israel, beside Benjamin, were numbered four hundred thousand men that drew sword: all these were men of war.
So the total recruit pool is 26,000 for Benjamin, vs 400,000 for Israel. Ouch. The odds don't look good for Benji. Save for those 700 odd super-snipers, that is, but come on, how much difference can 700 slingers do?
20:18 And the children of Israel arose, and went up to the house of God, and asked counsel of God, and said, Which of us shall go up first to the battle against the children of Benjamin? And the LORD said, Judah shall go up first.
20:19 And the children of Israel rose up in the morning, and encamped against Gibeah.
20:20 And the men of Israel went out to battle against Benjamin; and the men of Israel put themselves in array to fight against them at Gibeah.
20:21 And the children of Benjamin came forth out of Gibeah, and destroyed down to the ground of the Israelites that day twenty and two thousand men.
20:19 And the children of Israel rose up in the morning, and encamped against Gibeah.
20:20 And the men of Israel went out to battle against Benjamin; and the men of Israel put themselves in array to fight against them at Gibeah.
20:21 And the children of Benjamin came forth out of Gibeah, and destroyed down to the ground of the Israelites that day twenty and two thousand men.
So you'd think God is at least vaguely aware that his guys are in a battle, since he even decides which tribe to go first. But apparently the Benjamites don't even need to hide behind their walls and wait for the siege to fizzle. They just sally forth and kill 22,000 Israelites, out of a probably much larger force. And remember that Benji's total recruit pool was 26,000. So that's some mighty smiting right there, and the guys who have God on their side are on the losing side of it.
20:22 And the people the men of Israel encouraged themselves, and set their battle again in array in the place where they put themselves in array the first day.
... these guys just don't learn, do they?
20:23 And the children of Israel went up and wept before the LORD until even, and asked counsel of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up again to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother? And the LORD said, Go up against him.
20:24 And the children of Israel came near against the children of Benjamin the second day.
20:25 And Benjamin went forth against them out of Gibeah the second day, and destroyed down to the ground of the children of Israel again eighteen thousand men; all these drew the sword.
20:24 And the children of Israel came near against the children of Benjamin the second day.
20:25 And Benjamin went forth against them out of Gibeah the second day, and destroyed down to the ground of the children of Israel again eighteen thousand men; all these drew the sword.
Ok, this time God doesn't even have an excuse. These guys asked him whether to go to war, he told them to, and then apparently didn't help much. Although the Benjamites must have had some serious losses the previous day from their pool of 26,000 manpower total, they just plough through God's flock one more time and kill another 18,000.
20:26 Then all the children of Israel, and all the people, went up, and came unto the house of God, and wept, and sat there before the LORD, and fasted that day until even, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the LORD.
20:27 And the children of Israel enquired of the LORD, (for the ark of the covenant of God was there in those days,
20:28 And Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, stood before it in those days,) saying, Shall I yet again go out to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother, or shall I cease? And the LORD said, Go up; for to morrow I will deliver them into thine hand.
20:27 And the children of Israel enquired of the LORD, (for the ark of the covenant of God was there in those days,
20:28 And Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, stood before it in those days,) saying, Shall I yet again go out to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother, or shall I cease? And the LORD said, Go up; for to morrow I will deliver them into thine hand.
SRSLY this time. He was just taking the piss the first two times, I guess
20:29 And Israel set liers in wait round about Gibeah.
20:30 And the children of Israel went up against the children of Benjamin on the third day, and put themselves in array against Gibeah, as at other times.
20:31 And the children of Benjamin went out against the people, and were drawn away from the city; and they began to smite of the people, and kill, as at other times, in the highways, of which one goeth up to the house of God, and the other to Gibeah in the field, about thirty men of Israel.
20:32 And the children of Benjamin said, They are smitten down before us, as at the first. But the children of Israel said, Let us flee, and draw them from the city unto the highways.
20:30 And the children of Israel went up against the children of Benjamin on the third day, and put themselves in array against Gibeah, as at other times.
20:31 And the children of Benjamin went out against the people, and were drawn away from the city; and they began to smite of the people, and kill, as at other times, in the highways, of which one goeth up to the house of God, and the other to Gibeah in the field, about thirty men of Israel.
20:32 And the children of Benjamin said, They are smitten down before us, as at the first. But the children of Israel said, Let us flee, and draw them from the city unto the highways.
So the battle isn't going all that great on the third day either. In fact, we'll see soon how badly it had just went for Israel, in spite of the Lord's reassuring them that he's got their back. The only thing that turns the battle is that last sentence, where finally it dawns upon the Israelites to put more faith in sane tactics instead.
20:33 And all the men of Israel rose up out of their place, and put themselves in array at Baaltamar: and the liers in wait of Israel came forth out of their places, even out of the meadows of Gibeah.
20:34 And there came against Gibeah ten thousand chosen men out of all Israel, and the battle was sore: but they knew not that evil was near them.
20:34 And there came against Gibeah ten thousand chosen men out of all Israel, and the battle was sore: but they knew not that evil was near them.
So out of whatever forces were sent on the third day, there are about 10,000 left. Presumably there were some very heavy losses in the first half of that battle. That or that's a FOURTH army who is now fighting a very "sore" battle. In fact, they're outnumbered 2.5 to one by now.
20:35 And the LORD smote Benjamin before Israel: and the children of Israel destroyed of the Benjamites that day twenty and five thousand and an hundred men: all these drew the sword.
Err, no, the Lord didn't smite jack squat there, it was a plain old flanking that finally did it. To see how it went before that, with just the Lord's help, consider this:
- original recruit pool of Benji: 26,000 people
- people flanked and encircled in the final battle: 25,100 people
The first two days, and the first half of the third battle, apparently Benjamin lost a total of 900 soldiers to kill some 40,000 Israelites. That's a score that even Sparta would be proud of.
Except it gets funnier:
20:36 So the children of Benjamin saw that they were smitten: for the men of Israel gave place to the Benjamites, because they trusted unto the liers in wait which they had set beside Gibeah.
20:37 And the liers in wait hasted, and rushed upon Gibeah; and the liers in wait drew themselves along, and smote all the city with the edge of the sword.
20:38 Now there was an appointed sign between the men of Israel and the liers in wait, that they should make a great flame with smoke rise up out of the city.
20:39 And when the men of Israel retired in the battle, Benjamin began to smite and kill of the men of Israel about thirty persons: for they said, Surely they are smitten down before us, as in the first battle.
20:40 But when the flame began to arise up out of the city with a pillar of smoke, the Benjamites looked behind them, and, behold, the flame of the city ascended up to heaven.
20:41 And when the men of Israel turned again, the men of Benjamin were amazed: for they saw that evil was come upon them.
20:42 Therefore they turned their backs before the men of Israel unto the way of the wilderness; but the battle overtook them; and them which came out of the cities they destroyed in the midst of them.
20:43 Thus they inclosed the Benjamites round about, and chased them, and trode them down with ease over against Gibeah toward the sunrising.
20:44 And there fell of Benjamin eighteen thousand men; all these were men of valour.
20:45 And they turned and fled toward the wilderness unto the rock of Rimmon: and they gleaned of them in the highways five thousand men; and pursued hard after them unto Gidom, and slew two thousand men of them.
20:37 And the liers in wait hasted, and rushed upon Gibeah; and the liers in wait drew themselves along, and smote all the city with the edge of the sword.
20:38 Now there was an appointed sign between the men of Israel and the liers in wait, that they should make a great flame with smoke rise up out of the city.
20:39 And when the men of Israel retired in the battle, Benjamin began to smite and kill of the men of Israel about thirty persons: for they said, Surely they are smitten down before us, as in the first battle.
20:40 But when the flame began to arise up out of the city with a pillar of smoke, the Benjamites looked behind them, and, behold, the flame of the city ascended up to heaven.
20:41 And when the men of Israel turned again, the men of Benjamin were amazed: for they saw that evil was come upon them.
20:42 Therefore they turned their backs before the men of Israel unto the way of the wilderness; but the battle overtook them; and them which came out of the cities they destroyed in the midst of them.
20:43 Thus they inclosed the Benjamites round about, and chased them, and trode them down with ease over against Gibeah toward the sunrising.
20:44 And there fell of Benjamin eighteen thousand men; all these were men of valour.
20:45 And they turned and fled toward the wilderness unto the rock of Rimmon: and they gleaned of them in the highways five thousand men; and pursued hard after them unto Gidom, and slew two thousand men of them.
That, btw, is not an extra 25,000 Benjamites, that's a breakdown of the same 25,000 and where they fell.
And actually we see that even flanked and all, those had actually apparently lost just 100 people. Are these guys tougher than Spartans or what?
The battle only went downhill when yet another contingent of Israelites attacked and slaughtered the now unprotected city and set it on fire, at which point the Benjamites lose morale and flee, and are cut down while fleeing. Until that point, they were doing grrrreat against God's chosen.
Which wraps up the whole surreal episode. With all of God's promises of help and all, the God's people basically get cut down badly. They lose probably some 50,000+ people against a force of 26,000 people in open battle, not while storming a city, and actually for all those losses they only manage to kill some 1700 (including those left-handed super-snipers) before they finally demoralize the enemy by slaughtering their families and setting their city on fire.
And, then, of course, they credit God with doing the smiting when superior tactics had won the day.
But that makes God seem pretty unreliable, innit? When at equal tech level and outnumbering the enemy 8 to 1 you lose 50,000 to kill 1700, or even the total 26,700, and at that lose twice with extreme prejudice first... that's hardly the kind of thing that belongs on the resume of an omnipotent deity, is it?
So what stopped God there? Some 700 left-handed snipers? Well, I guess let's pray that the Al Qaeda doesn't start training left-handed snipers, or we're all screwed
