Rat, I appreciate your perspective, but I can't explain why you can have a PC and not experience the issues that every PC user I've ever met seems to have. This includes people I work with every day who develop for Windows and who know more about the OS than I ever will.
No, and I'm not being rhetorical when I say it really is a mystery to me as well. I don't think you're lying, and I don't think you're stupid, and I find it hard to imagine how you could be mistaken. I guess there could be some confirmation bias on both our parts, but otherwise I'm at a loss.
FWIW, I've been using MS products since 1983, when upgrading from 64K to a whopping 640K of RAM required that I open up the box and install eighty one sixteen pin DIP chips the size of a finger joint. My very first BSOD occurred a few weeks ago, when in a moment of weakness I unwisely allowed iTunes to update itself. (I have iTunes loaded on my laptop, but use it rarely, and try to keep its pieces out of my start-up routine.) I think it decided to be pissy about a Logitech driver I had just started using for my trackball. At any rate, I uninstalled the update and the problem went away.
In those twenty eight years I have so far (knock on wood

) managed to avoid being infected by any sort of malware on my personal machines. This in spite of using many more pieces of different software, and exploring the net in many more places than the average user. Mostly on machines with MS operating systems.
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In those early days many tasks not accomplished by off-the-shelf software could be implemented in MS-DOS with user created batch files. By way of example the one to get FidoNet rolling could approach hundreds of lines and call more than a few other batch files in the process. Often the OS environment space was employed to set flags which could pass info from one batch file to another (or to itself, since the batch files themselves were not at that time re-entrant.) The very earliest iterations of MS-DOS had a finite sized environment space which was quickly used up by this sort of task. Using debug I patched the OS to expand the environment space. This was not the sort of tinkering which an Apple user could do even if they wanted to, because the Apple OS was not that accessible to the user.
This kind of difference in philosophy was what set the two apart to me back then, and I haven't had much reason to consider it to have changed. It's a small point, and meaningless to most users, who weren't trying to do things like write or use huge batch files in the first place, much less fiddle with their OS on a level that debug operates, but the fact was that you
could do it with one product, and you couldn't with the other, at least not with the tool set that came out of the box.
From the onset the most significant difference between the two was that PC users who had MS machines expected to be able to open up the box and add hardware or tinker with the software on many different levels, and Apple users, if they wanted to open the box up at all (which would void their warranties) had to buy special tool sets to do it. Clearly different target markets.
It is telling that Apple has come to depend on glitzy consumer products, mostly repackaging established but not quite yet mainstream ideas with slick wrappers and claiming that they are 'new', to make money, while MS is still selling software and software alone, just like they started out doing more than thirty years ago, and are still managing to do quite profitably.
In some respects Apple hasn't changed that much either, I suppose.