Voluntary BDSM or Aggravated Assault?

23_Tauri said:
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Now, what I was suggesting a couple of days ago was whether it would be possible to speed up this process somewhat by allowing the older generation to pass on their much practised savoir-faire to the younger generation. We teach young people how to do other stuff, but leave them floundering amongst themselves when it comes to sexual prowess. Why is that?
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How do you teach emotional intimacy? That's what turns okay sex into great sex.
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
Right, from the posts above it seems you and several others really do think one's personal sexual experiences allow one to form a reliable estimate of the sexual satisfaction and ability of everyone else.

I've never had a great meal in France, therefore the French don't know how to cook and must find mealtimes a bit of a bore.
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Ah, but things are not always what they seem... Indeed, if you examine the evidence as presented, it seems there is some support for the notion that some people, given sufficient experience, can proclaim that most people aren't much cop at it.

More like: "I've had so many meals in France, having spent many adult years vacationing there, and had so few good ones, that, knowing as I do of the natural human ability to learn from another's good example, I boldly estimate that either most French people are ignorant of the subtleties of cooking or they're cooking only for themselves and never asking anyone else for a recipe."

My apologies to any French members, no offence is intended. Personally, I've always enjoyed French cuisine, but my appetite is enormous and relatively undiscriminating.

How many white socks do you have to pull out before concluding most of the socks in the drawer are white, Ivor?
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
How do you teach emotional intimacy? That's what turns okay sex into great sex.
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Let's say that 'emotional intimacy' is 'pepper' (forget the socks for now, we're on cooking again). Pepper is a fine addition to many recipes, I even added it to the white custard they used to serve at school, but that's neither here nor there. Sometimes I want something less savoury, for a treat. Let's say I want a tart. Or a French Fancy. Pepper isn't going to add anything to what is a very satisfying experience. Of course, some tarts are white socks, but some tarts are black socks, even without pepper.
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
How do you teach emotional intimacy? That's what turns okay sex into great sex.
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Well, yes and no. You can feel simpatico with someone before you have known them long enough to develop true intimacy. Some people I know have had the best sex ever with a one night stand because everything just fell into place. The worst long-term sex I had was with a guy who was almost my mental and emotional twin.

Great sex happens when you can align your weirdness with someone else. Sometimes it takes time, dedication, experimentation, and patience. Sometimes, you luck out and the alignment is already in place. Sometimes it's a little of both.
 
Congratulations on your 1,000th post, jiggeryqua. It certainly was fittingly novel, for such a milestone :)
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
Right, from the posts above it seems you and several others really do think one's personal sexual experiences allow one to form a reliable estimate of the sexual satisfaction and ability of everyone else.

I've never had a great meal in France, therefore the French don't know how to cook and must find mealtimes a bit of a bore.
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In the first paragraph, you're talking about experience. In the second paragraph, you're talking about a lack of experience. Were the two meant to be related in any way?
 
jiggeryqua said:
Let's say that 'emotional intimacy' is 'pepper' (forget the socks for now, we're on cooking again). Pepper is a fine addition to many recipes, I even added it to the white custard they used to serve at school, but that's neither here nor there. Sometimes I want something less savoury, for a treat. Let's say I want a tart. Or a French Fancy. Pepper isn't going to add anything to what is a very satisfying experience. Of course, some tarts are white socks, but some tarts are black socks, even without pepper.
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And sometimes I want to beat my fancy french pastry with a stick until it screams ;)
 
NewtonTrino said:
And sometimes I want to beat my fancy french pastry with a stick until it screams ;)
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Thanks for bringing us back on topic. If I want my first foray into the kitchen to involve a well-hung game cock and my fresh cream being whipped, with or without pepper (or socks), it aint nobody's business what I do.
 
jiggeryqua said:
Thanks for bringing us back on topic. If I want my first foray into the kitchen to involve a well-hung game cock and my fresh cream being whipped, with or without pepper (or socks), it aint nobody's business what I do.
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:clap:
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
How do you teach emotional intimacy? That's what turns okay sex into great sex.
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I question this as well.

I've had really great sex with people that I shared no emotional intimacy with at all. I've had really great sex with people that I shared a great deal of emotional intimacy with.

I've also had really unsatisfying sex with people that I shared a great deal of emotional intimacy with. And equally unsatisfying sex with people that I didn't share any emotional intimacy with.

Seems like "emotional intimacy" is a red herring here...
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
How do you teach emotional intimacy? That's what turns okay sex into great sex.
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Sorry, but I am not sure that is right.

One can have great sex without emotional intimacy. In fact, sometimes the lack of emotional intimacy is what makes the sex great.

After all, prostitution and pornography is still very strong industry, therefore there must be some considerable value to great sex that lacks emotional intimacy.
 
Mark6 said:
Once again, virgin thinks he an authority on sex.

It's like a blind person being an authority on colors.
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I really shouldn't laugh, but that's really funny. :D

Emotional intimacy is not necessary for amazing sex. Although I appreciate how the two can go together, like the pepper I put on my steak, my encounter with Mr Black Sock did not involve emotional intimacy. Those with whom I have shared my deepest emotions (which is how I define emotional intimacy) have not been those with whom I have had sex.
 
tesscaline said:
I question this as well.

I've had really great sex with people that I shared no emotional intimacy with at all. I've had really great sex with people that I shared a great deal of emotional intimacy with.

I've also had really unsatisfying sex with people that I shared a great deal of emotional intimacy with. And equally unsatisfying sex with people that I didn't share any emotional intimacy with.

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As someone who is keen on replying to what was actually written, you will notice my statement did not exclude any of the above scenarios.

However, I appreciate it's easy to get swept along with the crowd when you're having a good time.
 
bookitty said:
As it stands now, yes. Although I don't like an arbitrary number and would rather we go by a higher age of consent like 16 with Romeo and Juliet laws in place to avoid penalizing teens for playing with each other.
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Oh, but if a 15 year old specifically searches up an adult man for sex then the adult is supposed to be punished for this heinous deed whereas if it was with a teenager it would wholesome and nice?
 
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