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Making love in heaven?

There is a version of Heaven out there for every preference. Remember the 72 virgins being a reward for martyrs of Islam.

Swedenborg also claimed that angels in heaven had sex often, and includes some strange mumbo jumbo about their pure intentions and such.
 
Denver said:
If I recall, you can find another perspective about this kind of thing in Dante's Divine Comedy, in his relationship with Beatrice (Dante's ideal woman) who guides him through Heaven. It's a bit hard to describe, except perhaps to say that his earlier sexual feelings toward her are transformed to something much deeper and transcendent?
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Did she have big boobs, though?
 
According to Islam, there's got to be sex in Heaven; isn't that supposed to be the motivation for many suicide bombers, what with the 72 virgins and all?
 
MattusMaximus said:
According to Islam, there's got to be sex in Heaven; isn't that supposed to be the motivation for many suicide bombers, what with the 72 virgins and all?
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Seems that was just an error in translation, sorry. It's "a 72 year old virgin". :)

What happens to pregnant women in heaven? Do they raise kids that never had a chance to get the original sin?
 
Oystein said:
Earlier today, when in bed with my girl friend and doing what bf and gf like to do, I asked her if I was already in heaven.

Which immediately brought up the question:


Will we have more or less sex, or any at all, in (the Christian) heaven than here on earth?
And if not: Who wants to go to heaven??
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I'll give you an answer using a historical story. Enjoy!


Europe, year 999. Jesus said that he'll return after thousand years. People are in upheaval. They don't know what to do. Should they sow their fields or not? If they do and end of the world happens, they have toiled in vain. If they don't, and by some completely unbelievable chance end of the world doesn't happen, they'll all starve to death.

Women and sexy, sexy girls provided the answer. Since they didn't know whether there will be sex in heaven or some equally good equivalent, they started to search for love more than usual.
End effect: By the end of the year (or first six months) most of the women were either pregnant, with small children or working on it (since this was 10th century and all. No contraceptives). So smart people reasoned thusly: Children cannot be born in heaven. So, either God changed his mind, postponing the Armageddon, or it wasn't going to happen anyway.

Therefore, we'll need food. They sown their fields and thus survived to have descendants, later making the great country of England.
***

So no, you are not the first person asking that question :).
 
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Oystein said:
Earlier today, when in bed with my girl friend and doing what bf and gf like to do, I asked her if I was already in heaven.

Which immediately brought up the question:


Will we have more or less sex, or any at all, in (the Christian) heaven than here on earth?
And if not: Who wants to go to heaven??
Click to expand...
Only if you are married, or if you are a priest and there are lil' fellers around.
 
Two school friends spend their youth being womanisers and boozers.
One of them converts to religion, gets married and has many children.
The other continues on his wicked way.

Many years later they meet again and the boozer manages to convince the fundy to go pub crawling once more for old times sake. On their way they have a fatal car crash. They meet again in heaven.

The fundy is floating around on a puffy cloud, wings and white outfit, playing his harp and singing praises.
He spots the boozer on his puffy cloud with a naked blonde and a huge beer barrel.

The fundy goes off to St Pete to complain about this injustice and St Pete says:

Don't worry son, the barrel has a hole in it and she doesn't.:D
 
temporalillusion said:
Step 1. Get married.
Step 2. Significant other dies
Step 3. Remarry
Step 4. Wait
Step 5. Valid 3 way in heaven with both significant others!
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Cool!

But isn't that a bit unfair to the poor lassies and lads that never got married in this life?
 
Zanders said:
There is a version of Heaven out there for every preference. Remember the 72 virgins being a reward for martyrs of Islam.

Swedenborg also claimed that angels in heaven had sex often, and includes some strange mumbo jumbo about their pure intentions and such.
Click to expand...

Aren't the angels in Heaven all males?? :eek:
 
Before you wish too much, consider Revelation for the make up of the population of heaven.

14:2 And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps:
14:3 And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth.
14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins.​

I am sure that all lovin' , ever givin' Jesus will ensure that the 144,000 male inhabitants do not remain virgins for long.
 
Jehovah Witnesses say tht on paradise earth you will enjoy sex with your wife forever.
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I didn't know they said that. I'm not married myself, but I know some married men who would argue that the bolded parts are contradictive.
 
Zanders said:
There is a version of Heaven out there for every preference. Remember the 72 virgins being a reward for martyrs of Islam.
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And during Ramadan, Mohammed leads the burqa raids.
 
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Heaven is for virgins, come to Valhalla. There's a dress code, but you can do whatever,...
 
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