Top 10 Myths of Popular Psychology

[fossilhound]

Is it a myth that bottled-up anger causes detrimental effects to the individual?

 

[Jeff Corey]

Is it a myth that bottled-up anger causes detrimental effects to the individual?

Maybe not, but it is a myth that expressing anger toward another person or object "lets off steam". The authors state that, "So getting angry doesn't 'let off steam'. It merely fans the flames of our anger. Research suggests that expressing anger is helpful only when it's accompanied by constructive problem-solving designed to address the source of the anger."(p. 150)

 

[fossilhound]

It's my gestalt observation that "letting off steam" just pumps me up, inflating my ego as well as my anger. How then do we handle anger? Calm discussion is best when there's someone to discuss it with, but my personal anger right now hasn't a human instigator.

 

[Dancing David]

Is it a myth that bottled-up anger causes detrimental effects to the individual?

I would say the issues I would investigate are multiple:

1. What patterns are reinforcing anger with no particular benefit, like road rage? Much of frustration while driving it set dependant reinforcement, you get behind the wheel and you engage in the same thoughts and behaviors that make you upset. (That is not phrased as carefully as it could be.) You focus on the exact things that frustrate you and get yourself worked up. Changing those patterns so you are not always aroused and identifying it with anger while driving may be beneficial.

2. Identifying the actual stressor and taking 'proactive' steps to cope with the situation may be more beneficial than 'venting'.

 

[Dancing David]

It's my gestalt observation that "letting off steam" just pumps me up, inflating my ego as well as my anger.

How then do we handle anger?

With consideration:
Developing optimal coping can take time and practice.
Consideration of long term goals and strategies.
Desensitization and changing strategies.


Some situation are not going to change, in which case improved self care can be helpful
-adequate exercise
-adequate nutrition
-adequate sleep
-avoidance of unhealthy coping skills
-marking boundaries between stressful situation and not stressful situations
-mini vacations

 

[Emet]

With consideration:
<snip>
Desensitization and changing strategies.
<snip>

Is it possible to briefly expand on this?

Thanks.

 

[fossilhound]

Some situation are not going to change, in which case improved self care can be helpful
-adequate exercise
-adequate nutrition
-adequate sleep
-avoidance of unhealthy coping skills
-marking boundaries between stressful situation and not stressful situations
-mini vacations

Good advice.

 

[Dancing David]

Is it possible to briefly expand on this?

Thanks.

I don't want to give a snap answer, I just condensed a stress management training in the last post, I wll get back to you on this.

 

[Jeff Corey]

I don't want to give a snap answer, I just condensed a stress management training in the last post, I wll get back to you on this.

Neither do I. I'm having problems getting good references on this, and it's pissing me off!

 

[Thethirdeye]

I think what you're saying is that narcissism is separate from high self-esteem. The book and the articles seem to be saying narcissism is a subset of self-esteem.

While narcissism implies high self-esteem and narcissists have high valued opinion about themselves, the opposite is not true. High self-esteem doesn't imply narcissism.

The KGB specialists are strong people. (Narcissists have high self-esteem)
To be very strong might make you KGB specialist. xD (to have high self-esteem can make you narcissist.)

Narcissism is pathological personality disorder and is connected with the superiority complex. High self-esteem is just high opinion about somebodies "ego". While it can be unrealistic, high self-esteem itself cannot lead to antisocial behavior. Combined with the distorted sense of reality, it can just give a courage to somebody to promote his opinion.

Kids should boost their self-esteem.
But also they must be morally educated about toleration and culture.
They should learn to think critically.
They should learn many things but self-esteem in positive light can just give them the motivation that they are capable of being better and better....

 

[Dr. Keith]

Neither do I. I'm having problems getting good references on this, and it's pissing me off!

Nice.

 

[Dancing David]

While narcissism implies high self-esteem and narcissists have high valued opinion about themselves, the opposite is not true. High self-esteem doesn't imply narcissism.

narcissism as a personality disoerder, whatever that may be, a useful constrcut with little validity given the rule outs in the DSM, implies more that the individual has an exagertaed sense of self importance.

It does not imply at all that they have high self esteem in any way.

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

None of those criteria imply a sense of high self esteem.

 

[Jeff Corey]

This article may be related to the self esteem issue. http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html
"People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it. Across 4 studies, the authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd,"

 

[Dancing David]

Is it possible to briefly expand on this?

Thanks.

The subject of anger and coping skills is about as complex as it gets, so all statements should be taken very carefully. And I am not doing a research review, this is personal opinion.

First off there are many ways people can become used to a state of 'anger' and tolerance for it as a behavior.

The biological predisposition of the individual is a strong factor. In my case I am 'irritable' during times of high symptoms (I have anxious depression and OCD), I have a state where I can become easily overwhelmed by my environment, especially the noise levels, I have a high startle reflex and I feel 'flooded' quite often ( a state of feeling overwhelmed by emotions and sensory inputs).

When in this state I can easily become angry or just cry. So it is a state of high arousal and of perceived sensitivity to sensation, with seeming amplification of emotional states.

Many things can cause 'irritability' and similar states (labels will vary), biological vulnerability, lack of sleep, prolonged periods of stress, use of street drugs, legal drugs and the like. Mania, hypomania, anxiety, insomnia. depression, caffeine, stimulants, serotonergic agents, etc... can create states of arousal and irritability.

Then there is the way we respond to states of arousal and feeling overwhelmed.

Impulse control- as we mature and develop a sense of self, choices and consequence and optimal benefit, most people learn to control impulses to some extent. many people seems to have the ability to regulate 'impulses' and a response to emotional states. Being tired , drugged, sick, stressed and aroused seems to effect impulse control or lack thereof.

Habits and patterns: as we go through life we develop patterns of consistent behaviors. We 'do things a certain way', we focus on some things and not others, we respond to certain things and not others, we remember some things and not others.

Emotional framing: despite the common notion that we all 'know what emotions are', it is much more complex than that. Children have emotions modeled and explained to them, and it is much more than just a sense of our body at a given moment. The confusing thing is that many of the emotions all have the act same 'body state', there is a lot of contextual interpretation of what that state 'means'. Fear, excitement, anger, surprise, sexual interest are mostly all the same thing in out body, a high state of 'arousal'. So often the 'contextual interpretation' of that body state determines which 'emotion' we say we 'feel'. For couples this can be dangerous as antagonism, anger and sexual arousal often become confused.


So how does this set the stage for
"Desensitization and changing strategies."

To change our patterns takes some effort, some planning and a lot of practice (and again I am not being very careful in what I say here, I am not trying to frame this in the best fashion possible, I have made mis-statements and error already and will continue to do so.)

We start unfortunately after the fact: we recognize a situation where we responded with anger when an optimal strategy would have been something different.

Example : Someone cuts us off in traffic and we respond with anger, then driving dangerously ourselves.

(Warning this is way too psychodynamic for even me, I just don't want to take the time to neutralize it)

So first off is the examination after the facts of what happened.
-Where were we, what happened prior
-Our physical state at the time, were we tired, hungry stressed, high on coffee, etc...
-Our emotional state at the time (truly a body state and our interpretations of it) were we anxious, worried, upset because something had happened
-Our mental state at the time, what were we thinking about, worrying, ruminating, fretting
-Our habit state at the time, what patterns were in play
-Our interpretative state at the time, how did we contextually respond to the event


All that could be termed more easily as
"Antecedents and setting of the event", and it would probably be best to just say that, but there needs to be a sense of what those can be interpreted as being.

Then comes the interesting part:
-Habits and patterns that led to the less optimal response to the situation
-Planning to change those that can be changed
-Implementing a plan of change

(And that is enough for now.)

 

[zooterkin]

There does seem to be a push to identify the "learning style" of each student, and to blindly, at all costs, present material in this modality because of the fear that "you won't get through to her/him otherwise". Subsequently the push is to modify the lesson to represent the spectrum of "learning styles" in the room.

I certainly seem to learn better by some methods rather than others, and I'm pretty sure that some methods work better for other people than they do for me; as you say, the subject matter may also affect what the best style is. However, most times when I've been told about the supposed different styles of learning, it's been a lead-in to someone trying to push NLP.

 

[Emet]

Thank you, Dancing David. I really appreciate you taking the time to post an an answer.

Regards,
Emet

 

[Thethirdeye]

narcissism as a personality disoerder, whatever that may be, a useful constrcut with little validity given the rule outs in the DSM, implies more that the individual has an exagertaed sense of self importance.

It does not imply at all that they have high self esteem in any way.


None of those criteria imply a sense of high self esteem.

Those are the criteria that make narcissism a disorder issue. But that doesn't change the fact that they have high self-esteem. It depends of what do we mean when we say high self-esteem. I think this is more game with words xD
Anyway, there is a difference between high self-esteem and narcissism.

 

[Dancing David]

Those are the criteria that make narcissism a disorder issue. But that doesn't change the fact that they have high self-esteem. It depends of what do we mean when we say high self-esteem. I think this is more game with words xD
Anyway, there is a difference between high self-esteem and narcissism.

That is exactly what I meant, while I personally doubt the utility of the PDs, the individuals I met who were diagnosed with NPD all had low self esteem, and in fact at least two of the criteria would indicate a low self esteem.

So if you want to play word games go right ahead. I know what the common usages of self esteem are ... we can discuss them if you wish.

 

[Ladewig]

If you analyzed my avatar, then you nailed me. LOL

Actually, I'm an anthropologist. Told that to a young lady once, and she asked me if I wanted to date her. I said sure! We have a mass spectrometer up in the HSS lab!

I went home alone. (sigh)

I don't know which part embarrasses me more: the fact that I had to read that three times to get the joke or the fact that I laughed hard enough that I couldn't breathe.

 

[aggle-rithm]

Is it a myth that bottled-up anger causes detrimental effects to the individual?

I think the whole problem is that the term "bottled-up anger" is a poor analogy. What we think of as "bottled-up" anger is really anger that we keep alive by the way we interpret our thoughts.

I often have episodes where I think about some injustice that I suffered ten or twenty years ago, and become furious. In order to deal with this anger, I've found that I merely have to stop thinking about the thing that makes me angry. There's no need to "release" this anger as if it's somehow under static pressure in there.