Evidence for why we know the New Testament writers told the truth.

[joobz]

Unless you happened to own pigs or fig trees.

And let us not forget the violence he condones towards..
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wait for it..
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wait for it....
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slavants, I mean slaves... no Servants..

Agghhh, I messed it up.

 

[Simon39759]

Unless you happened to own pigs or fig trees.

Pigs?

Which passage are you referring to?

 

[Toke]

Ssssh, don't tell him!

I am amazed that my level of scriptural illiteracy will let me get along both here and back in the scriptural literacy tread without falling completely through.
Perhaps it say more about the believers than me.

 

[Hokulele]

Pigs?

Which passage are you referring to?

Matthew 8:28-34.

Basically, Jesus casts demons out of people into pigs, pigs commit suicide, owners of the pigs run back to the city in which they lived to tell everyone, city dwellers tell Jesus to GTFO. Maybe the city dwellers liked demons, maybe they really liked bacon (who would blame them?), maybe they liked the protection offered by the two people possessed by demons, who knows? Whichever it may be, they certainly liked the pigs better than Jesus.

ETA: The story is in all the Synoptic gospels, but only Luke states that the people told Jesus to leave because they were afraid of him. I think they were pissed off about the pigs.

 

[joobz]

Matthew 8:28-34.

Basically, Jesus casts demons out of people into pigs, pigs commit suicide, owners of the pigs run back to the city in which they lived to tell everyone, city dwellers tell Jesus to GTFO. Maybe the city dwellers liked demons, maybe they really liked bacon (who would blame them?), maybe they liked the protection offered by the two people possessed by demons, who knows? Whichever it may be, they certainly liked the pigs better than Jesus.

ETA: The story is in all the Synoptic gospels, but only Luke states that the people told Jesus to leave because they were afraid of him. I think they were pissed off about the pigs.

Jim Agrees

 

[Simon39759]

Ok; got you, I didn't think about it.


Meh; I would be pissed of to if somebody sneaked up in my back-yard to mess with my supply of bacon...

 

[Agatha]

I just read that out of context and misinterpreted the bolded terms as euphemisms. The only way I can think of to get the resulting image out of my head is to share it with the rest of you.

Dave

I am holding you personally responsible for any nightmares I may experience as a result of your post.

 

[Simon39759]

I am holding you personally responsible for any nightmares I may experience as a result of your post.

35Jesus asked his disciples, "When I sent you out without a moneybag or a traveling bag or sandals, did you need anything?"
"No!" they answered.

36Jesus told them, "But now, if you have a moneybag, take it with you. Also take a traveling bag, and if you don't have a sword, [a] sell some of your clothes and buy one.
37Do this because the Scriptures say, `He was considered a criminal.' This was written about me, and it will soon come true." 38The disciples said, "[url="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2022:35-38&version=CEV]Lord, here are two swords![/url]"
"Enough of that!" Jesus replied.

So... Jesus is telling his disciples to sell their clothes to buy a sword; and then, the disciples come back (presumably naked) laughing: "well, I have two swords now"...
What crazy hijinks!

 

[amb]

My hypothesis is that Jesus was running around naked swinging his cord acting like a madman. The laughing moneylenders could not stop laughing long enough to stop him so they just went home.

Better still. The whole tale is myth. It never happened. The Jesus of history is just a myth. A story that grew over the centuries until some dick, the Emperor Constantine decided this tale would help his cause and made it the state religion. At the same time, he still supported the pagan gods and religion.
The better tale won out, otherwise, we could instead of Christianity be worshiping Mithra today.

 

[Helen]

This is one of my favourite threads on the forum. No, I'm not a masochist, nor am I on any mind altering medication. In fact, I don't even play a masochist on mind altering medication on TV, and still this is one of my favourite threads.

There is so much knowledge here, so much scholarship even, so well and lightly presented and displayed. I learnt so much about the Bible, which to me has always been just another story about gods, and not the best one either. I am deeply impressed by so many of you, and so much better informed than I used to be.

And I don't know if there is any thread here that is funnier (intentionally or unintentionally). I sometimes wish I had the time to read it through again (but perhaps that would reduce me to someone who would have to be on medication) bacause some of the responses here are among the funniest I've ever read; the Heidelberg Uncertainty Principle, for instance, can make me snort out loud with the giggles whenever I remember it. Which I am happy to say I do regularly.

Plus it's illustrated! And I do adore a good illustrated read! Some of the illustrations here are sublime, to boot.

There are so many good posters here that I hesitate to mention any of you, but thank you all. I've learnt, I've laughed. What more can you ask of life?

So thank you, DOC, for starting this thread! if your sole purpose was to let others shine, then you have truly succeeded. (If that was not your purpose, perhaps you should rethink the whole thing, however.)

I actually hope that this will be the thread that never dies.

 

[Lord Emsworth]

Righteous anger, yes, but from the verses you mentioned we know of no one who got physically hurt from Christ's actions. Looks like he made a point that the money changers would always remember without being physically hurt.

I am fairly certain there is something about people getting physically hurt reported* in at least one of the non-canonical Gospels. If I am not mistaken it is the Infancy Gospel of Thomas.

Ohhh ... good old Wikipedia to the rescue:

In another episode, a child disperses water that Jesus has collected, Jesus then curses him, which causes the child's body to wither into a corpse, found in the Greek text A, and Latin versions. The Greek text B doesn't mention Jesus cursing the boy, and simply says that the child "went on, and after a little he fell and gave up the ghost," (M.R. James translation). Another child dies when Jesus curses him when he apparently accidentally bumps into him. In the latter case, there are three differing versions recorded the Greek Text A, Greek Text B, and the Latin text. Instead of bumping into Jesus in A, B records that the child throws a stone at Jesus, while the last says the boy punched him.

When Joseph and Mary's neighbors complain, they are miraculously struck blind by Jesus.​

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infancy_Gospel_of_Thomas#Content

Of course, the actual Infancy Gospel can be easily found on the net as well.



* Ask yourself, would they die for a lie??????

 

[amb]

This is one of my favourite threads on the forum. No, I'm not a masochist, nor am I on any mind altering medication. In fact, I don't even play a masochist on mind altering medication on TV, and still this is one of my favourite threads.

There is so much knowledge here, so much scholarship even, so well and lightly presented and displayed. I learnt so much about the Bible, which to me has always been just another story about gods, and not the best one either. I am deeply impressed by so many of you, and so much better informed than I used to be.

And I don't know if there is any thread here that is funnier (intentionally or unintentionally). I sometimes wish I had the time to read it through again (but perhaps that would reduce me to someone who would have to be on medication) bacause some of the responses here are among the funniest I've ever read; the Heidelberg Uncertainty Principle, for instance, can make me snort out loud with the giggles whenever I remember it. Which I am happy to say I do regularly.

Plus it's illustrated! And I do adore a good illustrated read! Some of the illustrations here are sublime, to boot.

There are so many good posters here that I hesitate to mention any of you, but thank you all. I've learnt, I've laughed. What more can you ask of life?

So thank you, DOC, for starting this thread! if your sole purpose was to let others shine, then you have truly succeeded. (If that was not your purpose, perhaps you should rethink the whole thing, however.)

I actually hope that this will be the thread that never dies.

If you need further giggles, try the jokes thread.

 

[Helen]

If you need further giggles, try the jokes thread.

Not half as funny as this thread - the unintentional humour here is quite stunning at times

 

[dafydd]

Matthew 8:28-34.

Basically, Jesus casts demons out of people into pigs, pigs commit suicide, owners of the pigs run back to the city in which they lived to tell everyone, city dwellers tell Jesus to GTFO. Maybe the city dwellers liked demons, maybe they really liked bacon (who would blame them?), maybe they liked the protection offered by the two people possessed by demons, who knows? Whichever it may be, they certainly liked the pigs better than Jesus.

ETA: The story is in all the Synoptic gospels, but only Luke states that the people told Jesus to leave because they were afraid of him. I think they were pissed off about the pigs.

Not very fair on the pigs,was it? What beef did Jesus have with those hogs?

 

[dafydd]

This is an old carol that fell out of favour.

BITTER WITHY

As it fell out on a high holiday
Small rain from the sky did fall
Sweet Jesus asked his mother dear
If he might play at ball
At ball,at ball my own dear child
It's time that you were gone
Don't let me hear of any mischief
Tonight when you come home
Up the hill and down the hill
Our sweet young saviour run
Until he met three rich lords' son's
Good morning to each one
Good morn,good morn,good morn he said
Good morning again said he
Which of you three rich lords'son's
Will play at ball with me
Oh we are lords and ladies sons
Born in the bower and hall
And you are naught but a poor maid's child
Born in an oxen stall
Our saviour turned himself around
He did not laugh nor smile
The tears came trickling down his cheeks
Like water from a stile
He built a bridge with the beams of the sun
And over the water ran he
The rich lords'son's ran after him
And drowned they were all three
Then up the hill and down the hill
Three rich young mothers did run
Mary mild take home your child
For ours is drowned each one
Then Mary mild she took her child
And laid him across her knee
And with a bunch of withy twigs
She gave him slashes three
Oh bitter withy,oh bitter withy
You've caused me to smart
And the withy shall be the very first tree
To perish from the heart.

 

[dafydd]

We will get down with the Druids
They drank hermetic fluids
And went dancing in the new-id
And that's good enough for me.

 

[kmortis]

All I got is some avant guarde poetry/lyrics...in honor of dafydd....

There's ole Gray with 'er dove-winged hat
Threre's ole Green with her sewing machine
Where's the bobbin at?
Tote'n old grain in uh printed sack
The dust blows forward 'n dust blows back
And the wind blows black thru the sky
And the smokestack blows up in suns eye
What am I gonna die?
Uh white flake riverboat just flew by
Bubbles popped big
'n uh lipstick Kleenex hung on uh pointed forked twig
Reminds of the bobby girls
Never was my hobby girls
Hand full uh worms and uh pole fishin'
Cork bobbin' like uh hot red bulb
'n uh blue jay squeaks
His beak open an inch above uh creek
Gone fishin' for a week
Well I put down my bush
'n I took of my pants 'n felt free
The breeze blowin' up me 'n up the canyon
Far as I could see
It's night now and the moon looks like uh dandelion
It's black now 'n the blackbird's feedin' on rice
'n his red wings look diamonds 'n lice
I can hear the mice toes scamperin'
Gophers rumblin' in pile crater rock hole
One red bean stuck in the bottom of uh tin bowl
Hot coffee from uh krimpt up can Me 'n my girl named Bimbo Limbo Spam

 

[TSR]

Not very fair on the pigs,was it? What beef did Jesus have with those hogs?

.
No beef. Just beans in a savoury sauce.
.

 

[Paulhoff]

Carl Sagan

You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep seated need to believe.

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. it is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that we've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the new bamboozles rise.)

He also said, something like… Because those that have been bamboozled have a lot of investment into that bamboozle, so much so, that they find it hard to let it go.

Paul

 

[joobz]

Carl Sagan





He also said, something like… Because those that have been bamboozled have a lot of investment into that bamboozle, so much so, that they find it hard to let it go.

Paul

Did Sagan own stock in the word Bamboozle?