Well, a three year engagement ended, a situation with some friends got very peculiar, and while they sound small in text they felt bigger to me.
That's always one of the things that annoys me is when people say, "Well that's no reason to kill yourself." Obviously, but, at the time, in that particular mindframe, it was a reason. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Thanks & thanks for coming back. You can't get more from the horse's mouth than from someone who had a go and I'm sure it's easier to talk online than off.
Your honesty and openness is pretty damned outstanding, if I may say so.
Personally my reasoning was, "I'm too ****ing smart to have to go to other people for help, I should be able to deal with this on my own." Which is false, and in turn only made it worse, because I felt like a moron and a general sense of uselessness that I couldn't find my own solutions. It's a pride thing, I guess you could say.
Well, you can't pick a bigger fall.
I wouldn't say one is the cause of the other, though they certainly don't help each other out. It's always felt like as a male you're just supposed to go deal with things, nothing is supposed to bother you or such. Lose your leg in an accident? Legs are for sissies. Real men hop on one leg. It goes back to a pride issue, I suppose, your manhood (not that manhood) is based on your ability to deal with ****.
It's almost like a cocktail of things from where I look at it - a depressive personality intersects with a dud relationship, backed up by childhood prejudices.
Bingo!
Hey, at least it's an area where failure is the biggest success you can have.
And potentially the people who become obese will develop low self esteem and......dear FSM, become suicidal!
Many a word spoken in jest and all that, but you do raise a point.
Fat kids are usually the easiest to pick on the "lack of self-esteem" stakes. Do more or fewer fat kids top themselves? The weight of evidence would suggest they would, wouldn't it?
I must find that out.
The only thing I cant think of as a vague catch-all is that most people who attempt or commit suicide do so because they're in a great deal of pain and they want that pain to stop.
Yet you just denied there was a common thread...
I do, however, find your comment interesting because it raises another question; this one regarding "pain".
The picture I have of suicide is mental pain, not the physical type, and I'd bet that's what you mean. However, some people do live with chronic pain, but not from terminal illness - I think it's important that self-euthanasia by terminally-ill patients isn't counted as "suicide"
How many people in chronic pain top themselves compared to everyone else?
It would seem to me that people in constant, severe physical pain would be a lot more likely to commit suicide than everyone else. Pain's in the brain, right? I suspect the facts are that very few people who live with chronic pain commit suicide, which makes an interesting question of "why is physical pain easier to bear than mental anguish?".
It's of no surprise that NZ's suicide rate is quite high. There is an undeniable dark streak through our culture. You can see it in all of the art we produce, in our films and music, in many, many aspects of our national psyche. I don't entirely know what the cause of that is - there's a saying that the settlers who came to NZ fled Europe to escape history, and were overwhelmed by geography. There's certainly something incredibly dark and ancient about the New Zealand landscape that would have been truly overwhelming to early settlers. The isolation must have been almost unbearable. That sort of environment creates cultural features that are then passed down through generations and filter into the cultural psyche.
Sheesh! Have you spent too long as a Lifeline counsellor or something?
Where do you get these odd ideas?
If we live in such a dark, forbidding, remote area that is part of our high suicide rate, why then do these following countries fall directly within the same range as ours?
Seychelles, Austria, Poland, Uruguay, Switzerland & France.
Oh no, wait; those countries all have a
higher rate than NZ, yet apart from Seychelles and isolation & maybe Switzerland/forbidding, your description doesn't fit any of them in any way.
The suicide rate amongst middle aged men, is perhaps a greater national disgrace, and something that is seldom ever looked at.
This one is right - the statistic is largely ignored desite the numbers being the worst age group.
I think the explanations for this are probably easier to grasp.
I agree with that.
But not this:
New Zealand men are discouraged from talking about feelings or showing weakness.
...
Add the stress of a high work load and insufficient income (New Zealand income levels are shockingly below other "modern" countries) to those bottled emotions and you're cooking a disaster.
Again, the figures from around the world show that these things are common to all - male suicide is generally a lot higher then female and the odds aren't that different anywhere else. Nothing unique to us, though.
A monthly breakdown of the figures might be interesting, as I'd assume the amount and quality of the daylight was more of a factor than the temperature.
More nights = more toppers?
Could be. Given that it's colder during the shorter days, I don't see this too easy to figure.
Is depression worse during the night?