I think there is a misconception that when something is labeled a disorder that it removes responsibility from the person who has it. I don't think anything could be further from the truth. Maybe someone more versed in mental health can clarify, but as I see it a disorder is any identifiable behavioral pattern that is harmful to the subject--whether by leading them to harm themselves, or because their behavior has consequences to their life, for example by separating them from friends and family, or creating obstacles to their life management.
Again, as I see it, they can be identified as clinical disorders, in which case something is physiologically wrong with the subject, or a personality disorder, which has no physical pathology (if I'm using the term correctly). The purpose of identifying them is not to invalidate negative reactions from others when faced with the behavior--it is to learn about the problem and determine what works for solving it and what doesn't.
When I hear people exclaim frustratedly that "everything's a disorder now!" I think they're missing the point and feel they're not allowed to be angry with a person exhibiting, say, antisocial behavior.