My facepalm for today

[legne]

(not sure if this is the right subforum to post this but who cares)

I logged on to a Norwegian woo-forum today, and just when I thought Norwegian woos couldn't get any sillier, a lady posted this (translated from Norwegian):

Everybody have their niche within the sixth sense
So now I'm asking you who can see or find spirit guides..
Is it really possible to not have a single spirit guide with you on your journey???
Like.. NOTHING at all??
I've never heard of this before..
So now I'm asking you..

Well? Have you ever heard of NOT having a spirit guide?

 

[Jonquill]

Not as facepalmy as all the woos who think that they really do have spirit guides.

 

[ugot2bekidding]

Here's my /facepalm for today...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/02/05/psychics.economy/index.html

 

[Starthinker]

I have a spirit guide. I've never seen him, or met him, or heard him, or smelled him, or touched him, or gotten messages from him, but the other day I found a quarter under the couch and I'm sure that was his doing.

I think many people would love to have spirit guides, or even gods, because it's nice to know that when you talk someone, somewhere, is listening even though nothing ever happens in return.

 

[quarky]

Jiminy Cricket is a fine guide.

 

[Mojo]

I have a spirit guide. I've never seen him, or met him, or heard him, or smelled him, or touched him, or gotten messages from him, but the other day I found a quarter under the couch and I'm sure that was his doing.

I have a better spirit guide - I found a fifth under the couch.

 

[legne]

Doesn't Sylvia Browne say that evil people don't have spirit guides?
I don't have one Oh noes.

I think the subject of spirit guides is some of what annoys me the most about woos, along with karma/three-fold "law", ghosts, how dangerous ouiji boards are, the soul and chi.
They talk about it as if it's as real as the ground we walk on. One girl told me that (quote) [metaphysical] energy is scientifically proven. (end quote)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My jaw dropped, I couldn't get a word out of my mouth, I didn't know whether to cry or start rolling around on the ground, laughing so hard I'd pee my pants.

 

[JFrankA]

I have a better spirit guide - I found a fifth under the couch.

No doubt your spirit guide is the Lord....

....Lord Cavert, that is...

http://www.argonautliquor.com/r/products/lord-calvert-canadian-whiskey?id=JDYwTZF4

 

[dudalb]

Johnny Walker and Jim Beam are great Spirit guides.

 

[legne]

Here's my /facepalm for today...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/02/05/psychics.economy/index.html

Business is good, she says. Usleman sees five or six clients a day and charges up to $135 a pop for sessions that usually last more than an hour.

Oh for the love of... sometimes it is quite tempting to become a quack.


I've got some more from Norwegian woos:

There are different kinds of fortune telling cards. I use oracle cards myself. They resemble the tarot cards, but the main difference is that they only have positive cards. This also makes these cards excellent for healing. There are a range of different decks within these cards as well. One example is the deck "Healing with angels", these are made by Doreen Virtue - who has a degree in psychology.

The only sound I can make is "ngh". I actually own a deck, they're very pretty; purple and gold and all that jazz. Who wants me to heal you? Eh?? Only $100 per session!


Another one:

[...] The paranormal has been proven. I've seen several TV shows about this, where scientists and researchers have participated [in ghost hunting shows on Discovery channel and such] and they've changed their opinion completely.

The thread from which the above quote was taken from, was originally about a girl who was having trouble getting clear answers from a pendulum when a friend, and fellow skeptic, of mine jumped in and mentioned ideomotor - which then turned into him nearly being burnt at the cyber-stake.
Then a lady comments:

You'll get answers with your pendulum from above, there's a communication there.
That's my theory anyway. A deceased friend told me this.
And [my friend] don't be so obstinate with your replies. Watch some TV and you'll receive many answers.

I wish they would watch TV when they're airing Dawkins' "Enemies of reason".

My friend got a headache, the same lady replies:

A new age is upon us
So open your eyes and see what's about to enter our lives.
There's probably a reason why TV deals with this subject
We're reaching enlightenment now, watch, listen and learn.
Open up your channels.

That's when he linked to "Enemies of reason". A lady replies:

Didn't you just say that TV sells? This is also TV.... are we supposed to believe in this more than we believe in something else????

He almost got banned for 'flaming'.

Even though I've been on plenty international forums, there's something special about Norwegian woos. They annoy/amuse me the most anyway.

 

[legne]

Johnny Walker and Jim Beam are great Spirit guides.

I prefer pirates, like Captain Morgan. They tell me where to find gold, yarrrr.

 

[Jonquill]

One of the things that amazes me about people that think they have animal spirit guides is that they think that real wild animals come to give them signs.

For example some guy said the other day that he was out in a thunder storm and a sparrow chirped at him until he went inside ( to protect him from the storm I presume).

It's like thinking that the whole universe revolves around yourself, putting out signs here and there to guide you. Isn't that how toddlers supposedly think, that everything is about them?

 

[legne]

Funny you should mention animals and how there apparently are a gazillion signs put out by "mother nature" to guide you.

Have you ever talked to someone who thinks he's an animal? Not talking about furries! The ones who think that their "spirit" is an animal spirit, but they're somehow trapped in a human body. They usually call themselves "otherkin" or something along those lines.
I discovered that it's a form of delusion:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_lycanthropy

Ain't that something!
As for the signs that appear to everywhere; also a (very common) delusion:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusions_of_reference

But don't tell them that. The last time I tried to get a medium to humor the idea of psychosis, she said she was gonna call the cops and press charges. Apparently I was harassing her.
The DSM-IV for psychosis excludes spiritual and/or religious hallucinations btw. Someone ought to change that, would make the world a much saner place.


[Edit] In my opinion, toddles have a much better sense of reality than those people. My niece for example, when she was 3 years old my dad dressed up as santa for christmas. Kids like santa! Guess what my niece said? "That's not santa, that's grandpa!". Oh dear.
We tried again next year, this time using my (ex) boyfriend as santa. "That's not santa, that's David!". We haven't bothered with santa since then.
I'd conclude with that toddlers are smarter than alties, but that would be biased and unscientific - and we wouldn't want that.

 

[shandyjan]

Doesn't Sylvia Browne say that evil people don't have spirit guides?
I don't have one Oh noes.

Oh its so unfair. The evil Sylvia has one and says I..who I dont think has done any evil in her life..cant have one. This logic is too twisted for me

Qote>But don't tell them that. The last time I tried to get a medium to humor the idea of psychosis, she said she was gonna call the cops and press charges. Apparently I was harassing her.

Isnt claiming people are harrassing you one of the symptoms of psychosis?

 

[legne]

Isnt claiming people are harrassing you one of the symptoms of psychosis?

I think you might be right!

Seriously though, it's always bothered me how communicating with aliens via telepathy is considered to be crazy - but communicating with Jeebus or dead people is considered to be perfectly normal.
Does not compute.

 

[Diagoras]

They talk about it as if it's as real as the ground we walk on. One girl told me that (quote) [metaphysical] energy is scientifically proven. (end quote)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course it's been scientifically proven. Metaphysical energy is equal to the Catholic mass times the speed of seeing the spiritual light squared.

 

[legne]

Oooooooh, silly me.

 

[Kthulhut Fhtagn]

I was recently told that an ex-friend of mine decided to marry his current (and I should really put extra emphasis on current) fiance because tarot cards told him she was right for him.

 

[legne]

I was recently told that an ex-friend of mine decided to marry his current (and I should really put extra emphasis on current) fiance because tarot cards told him she was right for him.

.....
Wow.

I think we need Captain Picard for this one.

Much better

 

[shandyjan]

Seriously though, it's always bothered me how communicating with aliens via telepathy is considered to be crazy - but communicating with Jeebus or dead people is considered to be perfectly normal.
Does not compute.

Ah...but we dont have alien bibles that I know of. The aliens need to give us some tablets!