makaya325 is too young to remember the original Monty Python skits, like this modified Cheese Shop sketch:
Bigfoot Evidence by makaya325
(Skeptic walks in the door)
Skeptic: Good Morning.
makaya325: Good morning, Sir.
Skeptic: Ah, thank you, my good man.
makaya325: What can I do for you, Sir?
Skeptic: I want to see some bigfoot evidence.
makaya325: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
Skeptic: Well, eh, how about a few footprints?
makaya325: I'm, afraid I'm fresh out of footprints, sir.
Skeptic: Oh, never mind, how are you on photos?
makaya325: I'm afraid I never have those at the end of the week, sir, I'll get some fresh on Monday.
Skeptic: Tish tish. No matter. Well, four ounces of bigfoot blood, if you please.
makaya325: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
Skeptic: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, vocalizations?
makaya325: Sorry, sir.
Skeptic: Hairs?
makaya325: Normally, sir, yes. Today I've misplaced them.
Skeptic: Ah. Reliable witness reports?
makaya325: Sorry.
Skeptic: Fingerprints?
makaya325: (pause) No.
Skeptic: Scat, perhaps?
makaya325: Ah! I have scat, yessir.
Skeptic: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
makaya325: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
Skeptic: Oh, I like it runny.
makaya325: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
Skeptic: No matter. Fetch hither the sewage de la Grande Sasquatch! Mmmwah!
makaya325: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Skeptic: I don't care how f***ing runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
makaya325: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)
Skeptic: What now?
makaya325: The cat's eaten it.
Skeptic: (pause) Has he.
makaya325: She, sir.
Skeptic: You...do *have* some evidence, don't you?
makaya325: (brightly) Of course, sir. I've got--
Skeptic: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
makaya325: Fair enough.
Skeptic: Bigfoot nests?
makaya325: Not *today*, sir, no.
Skeptic: Links to factual information or reliable evidence?
makaya325: I've never considered links necessary sir.
Skeptic: (pause) Aah, how about some DNA results?
makaya325: Well, I don't get much call for that around here, sir.
Skeptic: Not much ca-- it's the single most supportive evidence in the world!
makaya325: Not 'round here, sir.
Skeptic: (slight pause) and what IS the most supportive evidence 'round hyah?
makaya325: No dead cougar or bear bones, sir.
Skeptic: I see.
Owner: Oh, yes, it's very rare for a hunter to find any cougar or bear bones.
Skeptic: I see. Uuh...the lack of cougar and bear bones, eh?
makaya325: Right, sir.
Skeptic: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any bigfoot bones?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
makaya325: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Skeptic: You're not much of a bigfoot researcher, are you?
makaya325: Finest in the district!
Skeptic: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
makaya325: Well, I have a microscope, sir!
Skeptic: It's certainly uncontaminated by evidence....
makaya325: (brightly) You haven't asked me about definitive proof, sir.
Skeptic: Would it be worth it?
makaya325: Could be....
Skeptic: (slowly) Have you got any definitive proof?
makaya325: No.
Skeptic: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
makaya325: Yessir?
Skeptic: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any evidence here at all?
makaya325: Yes, sir.
Skeptic: Really?
(pause)
makaya325: No. Not really, sir.
Skeptic: You haven't.
makaya325: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
Skeptic: Of that I have no doubt.
RayG
That was hilarious! I just had a mental picture of me behind a desk with the slow voice
