How To Be Safe In A Hurricane

BPSCG

Penultimate Amazing
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So the Democratic People's Republic of Alexandria, eternally vigilant in its role as my mommy, sends out an email to subscribers of its email notification of city events. What with dread killer hurricane Hanna blowing up the coast, they give advice about what to do to stay safe, including sandbags in areas prone to flooding, making sure sump pumps are working, etc.

Then, at the very end, what they describe as "Other Safety Measures":
  • Residents should bring in garbage cans, lawn furniture, and other items that could be blown by high winds or become dangerous projectiles.
  • If a power outage occurs, candles should not be used under any circumstances because they are a fire hazard.
  • Pets should also be brought inside for their safety.
Dang. I was going to leave the cats outside because there's nothing quite as amusing as watching Samoa being blown head over heels down the street. I guess maybe that's not such a good idea.

And that business about "candles should not be used under any circumstances because they are a fire hazard..." Oh, really? Is using candles any more dangerous than, say, not being able to see your black cat Samoa cat curled up at the top of the stairs as you grope your way around your dark house?
 
Look, I've met Samoa. She's going to get you, one way or the other, so just give it up.

I'll be enjoying the hurricane just up the road from you. We can compare notes on Sunday!
 
LibraryLady said:
Look, I've met Samoa. She's going to get you, one way or the other, so just give it up.
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I've been trying to explain that to Mrs. BPSCG, but it falls on deaf ears. The only reason that cat ahsn't killed us yet is because she hasn't figured out that our insides are probably pretty tasty.

I'll be enjoying the hurricane just up the road from you. We can compare notes on Sunday!
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If we live. You're not going to light candles are you? Think of the danger!
 
I did put fresh batteries in my flashlight. However, now that you've challenged me, I could light candles just to be contrary.
 
BPSCG said:
When they give you stupid, even dangerous, advice.

That I'm paying for.
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In return, because you clearly didn't get your money's worth, I offer this advice from the PRA (The People's Republic of Awesome)

Prior to the storm, determine the most likely wind direction. Place all large objects directly in the wind path to your house. This gives the house the maximal chance of intercepting their flight path.

Drink 1 pint of vodka immediately prior to the storm hit, and at least 1 pint every 2 hours thereafter. Double this if immediately after consumption some of the following items seem like bad ideas.

Only use blowtorches for illumination. Blowtorches are the ultimate illumination source. To reduce the risk of alcohol consumption or darkness rendering you unable to lite it, keep the torch running at all times.

Anchor any family pets firmly to the ceiling with duct tape to avoid tripping hazards.

Whenever the wind gets loud, run around the house screaming "Dorthy! Dorthy!" Remember to use the blowtorch to navigate, and don't forget your vodka pint.

Use webcams to record the entire experience, so it can be uploaded to Youtube.

Being a capitalist, I firmly expect my Youtube Ad Revenue to increase as a result of this free public service announcement. Aren't you glad that the socialist government isn't producing these?
 
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GreyICE said:
In return, because you clearly didn't get your money's worth, I offer this advice from the PRA (The People's Republic of Awesome)

Prior to the storm, determine the most likely wind direction. Place all large objects directly in the wind path to your house. This gives the house the maximal chance of intercepting their flight path.

Drink 1 pint of vodka immediately prior to the storm hit, and at least 1 pint every 2 hours thereafter. Double this if immediately after consumption some of the following items seem like bad ideas.

Only use blowtorches for illumination. Blowtorches are the ultimate illumination source. To reduce the risk of alcohol consumption or darkness rendering you unable to lite it, keep the torch running at all times.

Anchor any family pets firmly to the ceiling with duct tape to avoid tripping hazards.

Whenever the wind gets loud, run around the house screaming "Dorthy! Dorthy!" Remember to use the blowtorch to navigate, and don't forget your vodka pint.

Use webcams to record the entire experience, so it can be uploaded to Youtube.

Being a capitalist, I firmly expect my Youtube Ad Revenue to increase as a result of this free public service announcement. Aren't you glad that the socialist government isn't producing these?
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:biggrin:

Regarding the bolded part:

Friend of mine used to live in Nebraska. In a trailer park.

Says whenever they had tornado warnings, bunch of them would get together with a deck of cards and a lot of booze and sit outside someone's trailer playing cards and getting drunk.

"Might as well," she said the rationale was. "Nobody had any basements, so if you're gonna get killed anyway, you might as well go out drunk and happy."
 
BPSCG said:
If a power outage occurs, candles should not be used under any circumstances because they are a fire hazard.
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Do candles become more of a fire hazard when the power is out?? I hope so. Otherwise I don't know why they are still selling these flaming sticks of death.

On second thought, I'm throwing all of mine out immediately. Better safe than sorry.
 
taypro said:
Do candles become more of a fire hazard when the power is out?? I hope so. Otherwise I don't know why they are still selling these flaming sticks of death.

On second thought, I'm throwing all of mine out immediately. Better safe than sorry.
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Dispose of them properly. If you flush them, they can breed in the sewers.
 
This sounds like the nanny state of Springfield in The Simpsons. You do recall, "Put garbage in a garbage can people, I can't stress this enough!" I wish someone wold pass this gem on to the people living a few blocks south of my home.

Daredelvis
 
BPSCG said:
When they give you stupid, even dangerous, advice.

That I'm paying for.
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I missed the dangerous advice but as far as the stupid... Do you deal with people at your job? I mean baby platypus Jesus knows I do stupid stuff from time to time but, wow.... If I didn't remind myself that even including all of the idiocy I've seen in the military, school, work, was just a small portion of humanity I'd cry.
 
BPSCG said:
And that business about "candles should not be used under any circumstances because they are a fire hazard..." Oh, really? Is using candles any more dangerous than, say, not being able to see your black cat Samoa cat curled up at the top of the stairs as you grope your way around your dark house?
Click to expand...

I think in most areas of the world you can buy battery powered 'candles' And I still have this nifty thing from WW2. a candle powered by a slight movement of my hand. And it still works after 60+ years
 
NoZed Avenger said:
Certainly, then, we cannot trust them with automobiles -- thousands of links to follow.
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Do you think messages and information on how to drive safely is pointless? If not, why would messages on fire safety be pointless?
 
I think he is trying to say that candles, like automobiles, should be registered and only used by licensed and insured users that have passed a candle safety course.
 
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