It completely turns your idea of punishment upside down. That is why I wanted to know what your idea is. I get your point - I suppose if I'm telling you that I want a definition from you, I should give you mine as well. I just thought it wouldn't be a problem to tell me how you defined the word, since I asked you politely.
I define punishment as a the causing of negative feelings, or denial of positive feelings, administered to a subject as an effect of their actions. It can be used, for instance, as a deterrent for the subject to repeat the action, a deterrent for others to commit it, or - unlike your definition - as a method of revenge. Because the purpose can be different, the subject may not necessarily be aware that they are being punished.
I make no statement here about what punishments are good or bad. Only what constitutes a punishment, in my definition.
I could try to guess from your comments what your definition is, but then I would be making a strawman. I am asking you for a definition because I think it would be the best way to express your opinion on the matter, and it might settle the argument. It was meant as a friendly request, not as a demand. How do you define 'punishment'?