Depression after discovering there is no god

[Blight]

Personally, throughout my life, god didn't really play much of a role. However, not until a few years ago, did I actually abandon the fear of "what-if" (god exists).

Having this experience changes you. Some people (as the case was in this week's commentary) may get depressed due to loss of direction. Myself, I saw things a bit differently on several fronts.

On the day to day front, it felt a bit more liberating as once you come to this realization, a lot of other woo woo gets pushed aside. Even though I wasn't seriously superstitious, these days superstition doesn't play even the smallest role in my life. These notions bring a smile to my face and I do stuff just to show people superstition is all BS.

My general outlook on life now is more relaxed and I tend to enjoy myself more and open myself to new experiences. If god doesn't exists, it means that whatever you do in this life is the only chance you'll get to enjoy your experiences, so you better start enjoying life. Right now!

One thing that is a big helper in maintaining sanity is to have something big to look forward to (or to believe in). Some people use the after-life notion for this. Personally, I'm looking forward to the Technological Singularity.

I feel I'm young enough to witness the singularity and it may mean extended life (and thus more things to experience). I don't really put too much thought into it, but just the notion of it can be comforting (if you have a point of view on life similar to my own).

 

[Diamond]

To the anonymous person who wrote to Randi:

Up until three months ago, my contentment and joy in life literally revolved around my perceived “relationship with God/Christ,” efficacy of prayer, and gracious heavenly payout. Now that I know this mode of thinking and dream isn't reality, I am experiencing very real – and I'm told, “clinical” – depression, something I have never experienced before. I have endured any past tribulation through reasoning, "God 'has my back'” and is somehow using this adversity to “make me stronger,” and “I can get through anything in this life because it's only temporary and in the end, eternal bliss awaits me.” I thought that, like other Christians, I had effectively already won the "after-life lottery."

Now I know my winning ticket is worthless. I had been duped, and worse, my life-sustaining purpose crutch had been yanked out from under me. Side note: I truly believe that if you could convince Christians in the USA that there was no Jesus/God, there would be a major, depression-laden backlash.

As someone who does suffer from clinical depression, I can tell you that you are not suffering from this disorder. As someone who was formerly an evangelical Christian I can tell you what you are experiencing.

What is happening is that you are grieving. That's rather different although I can see why you would confuse the two. Your religious beliefs did form a large part of your mental processes, and now that the foundation for such beliefs has been kicked out from under you, the psyche reacts in a way that is usually reserved for the death of a loved one.

Since grieving is a normal and natural process, I would not advise trying to shortcircuit the process. I would advise facing your loss, replacing familiar comforts from before with rational beliefs and a scientific approach to psychology and ethics. Reading about science and skepticism, evolutionary theory and atheist morality will help.

The only thing I cannot promise you is that your future life without the religious crutches will have as much certainty as to its progression as you previously had. Religion had given you a false sense of security, and once that it removed with a new paradigm based on reason, you will find yourself missing the old certainties, because to be irreligious is to know great uncertainties.

On the other hand, you will feel more and more able to mix with people that you previously had little or no contact with, like homosexuals for example, because your belief system rejected them outright.

You will find that we still live in a moral universe, and that it is perfectly possible to construct and live an ethical life without any requirement for a supernatural or a Final Judgment.

I will guarantee you one thing: the universe of the rational is unquestionably real.

 

[Mr. Scott]

The following article, which happens to be in Articulett's sig, has had an effect on me like that in the OP, which thanks to this thread I now recognize as grieving of a similar nature:

Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments

People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it. Across 4 studies, the authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd. Several analyses linked this miscalibration to deficits in metacognitive skill, or the capacity to distinguish accuracy from error. Paradoxically, improving the skills of participants, and thus increasing their metacognitive competence, helped them recognize the limitations of their abilities.

 

[T'ai Chi]

Interesting testimonies.

 

[gnome]

I would be depressed to find out the Christian idea of God was correct... it would be upsetting to me to be forced into the conclusion that a god so capricious and cruel were actually in charge--or, at best, disappointed that so human and simplistic a concept of a father-figure-creator was the nature of the universe.

 

[strathmeyer]

Interesting testimonies.

Is being a jerk your way of grieving?

 

[Minkster]

As someone who does suffer from clinical depression, I can tell you that you are not suffering from this disorder. As someone who was formerly an evangelical Christian I can tell you what you are experiencing.

Whilst I see your point, I think its probably wise to avoid jumping to conclusions based on purely your own experience. As far as I am aware, Clinical Depression can be sparked by a million different things, and things which may seem mundane or tiny (or liberating) to some of us.

 

[tracer]

If god doesn't exists, it means that whatever you do in this life is the only chance you'll get to enjoy your experiences, so you better start enjoying life. Right now!

Afterlife =/= existence of god(s)

 

[Tombolian]

Afterlife =/= existence of god(s)

Interesting comment. So I suppose the reverse could be true too? The existence of god(s) doesn't mean there is an afterlife.

 

[Pipirr]

I'm posting this link not because I think that I am in any way gifted, but because I'm sure that a lot of other posters here are.

Existential depression in gifted individuals
James T. Webb, Ph.D.

Some selected quotes:

It has been my experience that gifted and talented persons are more likely to experience a type of depression referred to as existential depression. Although an episode of existential depression may be precipitated in anyone by a major loss or the threat of a loss which highlights the transient nature of life, persons of higher intellectual ability are more prone to experience existential depression spontaneously.

Why should such existential concerns occur disproportionately among gifted persons? Partially, it is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life.

In such depression, gifted children typically try to find some sense of meaning, some anchor point which they can grasp to pull themselves out of the mire of "unfairness." Often, though, the more they try to pull themselves out, the more they become acutely aware that their life is finite and brief, that they are alone and are only one very small organism in a quite large world, and that there is a frightening freedom regarding how one chooses to live one's life. It is at this point that they question life's meaning and ask, "Is this all there is to life? Is there not ultimate meaning? Does life only have meaning if I give it meaning? I am a small, insignificant organism who is alone in an absurd, arbitrary and capricious world where my life can have little impact, and then I die. Is this all there is?"

How can we help our bright youngsters cope with these questions? We cannot do much about the finiteness of our existence. However, we can help youngsters learn to feel that they are understood and not so alone and that there are ways to manage their freedom and their sense of isolation.

The article itself is longer and gives more detail. It's worth reading.

And for a simple yet beautiful take on finding meaning in life, I recommend x k c d . It also has funny stuff.

 

[Buckaroo]

Some selected quotes:



The article itself is longer and gives more detail. It's worth reading.

Nope, I sure don't miss being 17 years old. Not a good year.

 

[Jekyll]

I'm posting this link not because I think that I am in any way gifted, but because I'm sure that a lot of other posters here are.

Existential depression in gifted individuals
James T. Webb, Ph.D....

A particular way of breaking through the sense of isolation is through touch. In the same way that infants need to be held and touched, so do persons who are experiencing existential aloneness..... A hug, a touch on the arm, playful jostling, or even a "high five" can be very important to such a youngster, because it establishes at least some physical connection.

"Daddy, why is life so futile, empty, and meaningless?"
"Hey, high five!"

 

[this charming man]

When I read that letter Friday, this is what I wrote to Mr. Randi:

Hello Mr. Randi:

I wanted to take a moment and respond to the person who wrote the REALITY CAN BE ROUGH letter in the recent SWIFT. I too have recently come to the full realization that belief in an all-powerful omniscient being is irrational, unnecessary, and outdated; however, it was more of a progression for me rather than a sudden flip.

I understand how the author is feeling. I had a moment of those same feelings, but I quickly overcame them. Once I realized how amazing and awe inspiring the universe truly is, the depressed feelings quickly subsided. The mind blowing physics and sheer magnitude of it all is the real wonder of our existence. I suggest the author of the letter do some minor research into this. I think it may help; I know it did for me.

The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan and Atheist Universe: The Thinking Person's Answer to Christian Fundamentalism by David Mills are two books that I recommend. These books helped me affirm my newly acquired, for lack of a better saying, "non-belief." I also would like to the author to know that he or she is not alone. There are many warm and friendly people who support him or her. If the author has not already done so, I suggest he or she set up a JREF Forum account. There are many individuals who can give advice, support, and encouragement.

Cheers,

 

[Tressa]

That was lovely this charming man.

 

[this charming man]

That was lovely this charming man.

Thank you; I just hope that the author will be able to read it.

 

[billyb1012]

Here's what I've been wondering ever since reading the letter mentioned above in last week's Swift. Being skeptical, my first thought was 3 months is not long enough to accomplish the following: utterly changing one's worldview, learning enough about your new worldview to fully comprehend it, recognizing how badly you had been duped previously, becoming depressed (clinically -- I don't think it's like the flu, where one day you don't have it, and the next day you do) about it, consulting not one but several doctors, discarding several medicinal regimens as ineffective, and, finally, turning here for advice from Mr. Randi.

It's a good story, and it raises important questions worthy of debate.

But it doesn't ring true.

 

[Freethinker]

Here's what I've been wondering ever since reading the letter mentioned above in last week's Swift. Being skeptical, my first thought was 3 months is not long enough to accomplish the following: utterly changing one's worldview, learning enough about your new worldview to fully comprehend it, recognizing how badly you had been duped previously, becoming depressed (clinically -- I don't think it's like the flu, where one day you don't have it, and the next day you do) about it, consulting not one but several doctors, discarding several medicinal regimens as ineffective, and, finally, turning here for advice from Mr. Randi.

It's a good story, and it raises important questions worthy of debate.

But it doesn't ring true.

I think many people string themselves along in a state of denial. Deep inside, they know the old view is wrong, but they don't admit it to themselves. Finally, some trigger occurs and there is a sudden realization. I'd expect it would be a shock.

 

[typondis]

I too have recently come to the full realization that belief in an all-powerful omniscient being is irrational, unnecessary, and outdated.

Realisation? It's a belief. A new belief you have instead of the old one. And it's not universally true. It's true according to the paradigm you exist within. (As well, it could be interpreted you're implying it's not fashionable.)

"Daddy, why is life so futile, empty, and meaningless?"
"Hey, high five!"

This is funny, but is just another example of a belief. Rather than what, it is crucial why we believe.

 

[this charming man]

I too have recently come to the full realization that belief in an all-powerful omniscient being is irrational, unnecessary, and outdated.

Realisation? It's a belief. A new belief you have instead of the old one. And it's not universally true. It's true according to the paradigm you exist within. (As well, it could be interpreted you're implying it's not fashionable.)

"Daddy, why is life so futile, empty, and meaningless?"
"Hey, high five!"

This is funny, but is just another example of a belief. Rather than what, it is crucial why we believe.

Then by your thinking I also "believe" in gravity.

 

[Jekyll]

Realisation? It's a belief. A new belief you have instead of the old one. And it's not universally true. It's true according to the paradigm you exist within. (As well, it could be interpreted you're implying it's not fashionable.)

There's no room for ambiguity here, either there is an omniscient being or there isn't. It's not like you can be all knowing but only in Nevada.

This is funny,

Thanks . Welcome to the forums.