I'm beginning to see your point a little better (I will read the book... When I get time, that is. It looks very interesting). I guess it's not fundamental for warrior societies, but it may play a much greater role for people like us whom have been raised "peacefully".
Yes, I would tend to argue that our society has developed a culture that emphasises the shared humanity of others. I think dehumanisation of "others" is probably the default status.
Once you're sharing the same culture, same religion, same values, fight the same way, and your soldiers are equipped with very similar weapons and uniforms, it's much easier for the soldier to empathise with their enemy.
At the beginning of the book Grossman also talks about the way denial of death may have an influence, and relates it to sex.
Throughout medieval society, family and community groups were very transparent. Close communities and communal living ensured that everyone knew what was happening in each other's house. As a result, serious sexual depravation was quite rare. If a villager molested his daughter, the other villagers knew about it. Hiding such activity was very difficult. Likewise, children, from an early age, were exposed to their parents have sex because everyone slept in the same room.
With increased urbanisation, families moved into private houses and children had private rooms. Everything became much easier to hide. Cases of sexual deviancy sky-rocketed, especially child-related. The notion of "what a man does in his own house is his business" arose. We're dealing with that now, because we have got over our notion that sex is a private thing you don't discuss.
The same pattern follows with killing. Death was a part of every day life. If you needed meat, you had to kill an animal yourself. Rituals developed around this, in which the life of the animal was respected. Children were exposed to proper treatment of killing and death from an early age.
But now, we deny it. Even funerals are a clean septic affair. Many people never actually see someone die (or even a dead body) until well into adulthood (or never!). Death is not talked about. Our meat is pre-packaged in the supermarket. Society tries to protect children from the reality that killing plays a fundamental part in our society. We're essentially denying that killing and death are both fundamental parts of society, just as our recent ancestors tried to deny sex was a fundamental part of society. Killing has become our dirty little secret. We send soldiers to fight wars to protect us, and when we come back we don't want to hear what they did. Better not to talk about it.
[derail] As an aside, as a child my father took me each year to ANZAC Day ceremonies, and I had the good fortune of meeting several WWI veterans before they all died. Being the wide-eyed little tyke I was, I innocently asked them about fighting and war and killing. They were all too happy to recount their experiences to an eight year old. Thus I was a little shocked when I grew up and started studied such topics, to learn that the socially accepted norm was that these soldiers didn't want to talk about it, and everyone had kept quiet about it when the soldiers returned.
The reality is, not only did they want to talk about it, they
needed to. And us civilians wouldn't let them. We sacrificed their psychological well being for our own peace of mind.[/derail]
Dehumanization is probably easier to obtain when the ennemy is of a different culture, for obvious reasons (is this examined in the book ?). It may also fail utterly, because the monster you're creating may not be believable.
Dehumanisation is a powerful tool for temporarily overcoming the resistance to killing. But it has consequences. Soldiers who continue to fight until very close range, and then surrender have less than a 50/50 chance of being spared. In order to accept a surrender, you have to go from totally dehumanising your enemy and trying to kill them, to suddenly recognising their shared humanity with you, and protecting them. That's an enormous change to make in a split second, in the heat of battle, with your dead comrads around you.
And indeed, the laws and values of war reinforce this notion that killing people who surrender at the last moment is acceptable and right. That's the military trying the rationalise their actions of killing a fellow human after the fact.
At long range, of course, as you make the attack, the enemy is easy to dehumanise. Once you get up close the rage at your fallen comrades, the intensity of the charge, and the dehumanisation of the enemy are strong enough for you to kill your opponent as he throws down his weapons and surrenders. But then after the fact the humanity of your victim is undeniable, and the psychological impact is harsh. you're quite suddenly confronted with the clear fact that your dehumanisation of the enemy is a lie.
-Gumboot