Woo of the Week

Mojo

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Mojo
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We haven't had a nomination for Woo of the WeekTM lately, but this was on a page linked to on a thread about homoeopathy over at badscience.

I give you:

denismcshane!

The idea behind phrenology is real. You can diagnose various illnesses or the state of a person's body by looking at their head. I cannot say if all of the claims of phrenologists are true, but the basic premise is accurate.

If you can think for yourself, or you are willing to think for yourself, a simple example should convince you that phrenology must be real.
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Go get a gallon carton of milk. Then go in front of a mirror and hold the gallon of milk up to your head. They are about the same size aren't they?

Now take the top off of the milk. Then go in the bathroom or someplace you can make a mess and squeeze the milk carton as much as you desire. Squeeze it a little, or squeeze it a lot. For a dramatic effect, hold the carton in one hand, and punch it with your other hand to put a nice big dent in the carton. Watchout for milk splash!

Now go back in front of the mirror and hold the carton of milk up to your head. The carton of milk looks different doesn't it? You squeezed it or punched it so the carton of milk is no longer square or rectangular. It is square or rectangular with dents in it.

...snip...

The human head works exactly like this except for one small difference. The brains do not splash out of the head when the head loses volume.

...snip...

Just think about it for awhile. It is common sense. Is a gallon of milk equal to a quart of milk? Of course not!

Then why is a big full round head supposed to be the same as a small head or a head with dents in it?
Click to expand...


He continues further down the page, with examples:
This man is the Fed Chairmen I think his title is. I think we both agree that he must be smart to do his job. Please look at his head.

http://www.princeton.edu/pr/pictures/a-f/bernanke/bernanke-03-high.jpg

Big fat round head = smart Fed Chairmen.

Young male monk in training. Holiness is also associated with big fat heads.

http://www.bobmay.info/images/myanmar/myanmar_burma_little_buddhist_monk.jpg

Big Fat Round head = holy child

The next picture is of a shinto priest.

http://educate-yourself.org/pnl/Hideo izumoto.jpg

Big Round Fat head = holy man

This man is the head of the MPAA in the USA. It seems reasonable to say a man who is the head of a big organization would have to be smart.

http://www.nndb.com/people/463/000051310/dan_glickman.jpg

Big Fat Round Head = head of major organization.

Each of them, the fed chairman, the boy monk, the shinto priest and the MPAA chairman all have big round heads and they all are of high achievement.
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Now lets look at a small misshapen head.

http://www.showandtellonline.com/images_splash/marilyn_manson.jpg

This man is a heavy metal star. He has been linked with homosexuality and drug use. His head is everything but big, fat and round. Almost every photo you see of this man will show the left side of his head covered like in this picture. That is because homosexuality is associated with a deterioration of the size and shape of the head. The left side of his head has literally shrunken and changed shape as a few minutes with a ruler would tell even a 10 year old child.
Click to expand...
 
I read that too, but was unable to distinguish it from parody.
 
I read the whole thread. In context, and considering his later responses, I don't think it was parody.

Nomination seconded.

Rolfe.
 
Fair enough. But then, the best woo should be indistinguishable from parody.....
 
I only said "think"....

I swear I've seen two occasions here recently where regular posters were taken to task for "having a go" on the grounds that the post they were attacking was obviously a witty parody or sarcasm. Only to have the regular poster explain that no, it really wasn't....

One was the Scientology guy, Fred something. The other was the poster who claimed he could change his blood group at will. Some people are just beyond parody.

Rolfe.
 
Alright, he sounds more seriouser with every post. If it's parody, he's put a lot of work into it.

Thirded.

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk.../open_letter_closed_minds.html#comment-598610

You guys really do not believe the evidence of your own eyes? You can look at 4 men of high accomplishment with big round heads, and a homosexual drug user with a small misshapen head, and still say nothing is different?

I just don't get it.

Someone mentioned a person who is generally described as bad, and said he had a big round head. The implication was that this example proved I was wrong.

What I am trying to describe to you is the gaining of power. If you have a big fat round head, you are powerful. The human body changes in many other ways when a person becomes powerful. The big round head is just an outward sign of the power.

Power can be used for anything. If a big fat head guy wants to be holy, he can be. But if he wants to take over a country and start wars, he can do that too. The power can be used for anything.
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Human cultural sayings back up the idea of phrenology. Why are people called "boneheads"? "Bonehead" is word that usually means stupid. Why are people with bony heads stupid? Because their head is bony. There is no flesh around it which signifies the brain within the skull is not being properly stimulated.

Aren't a bony head and a small misshapen head the same?
Click to expand...
 
oh jeez

New member/poster here.

This milk jug experiment is the wildest thing I have ever heard. I'm sure it's 100% trustworthy. ;)

Someone in Chicago has it right!
 
denismcshane owns gallon milk cartons
hence denismcshane regularly drinks lots of milk
milk contains calcium
calcium helps grow bones
hence denismcshane grows big bones
hence denismcshane has a bony head
a bony head and a small misshapen head are the same
people with misshapen heads are homosexual drug users
hence denismcshane is a homosexual drug user.

QED
 
Is this guy making a profit of some kind out of this BS? In that case, I'm in the wrong business...
 
Maybe we should try some proactive phrenology on him i.e. wack him round the head repeatedly and see if his personality changes with the rising lumps.

Apologies to Terry Pratchett for nicking this idea

Oh yes, I support the nomination.
 
Be kind to him. He obviously hasn't got all his oars in the water.
 
JQH said:
Maybe we should try some proactive phrenology on him i.e. wack him round the head repeatedly and see if his personality changes with the rising lumps.

Apologies to Terry Pratchett for nicking this idea
Click to expand...

I believe it's "retrophrenology".
 
Those comments about the milk carton were the single funniest thing I've read all year in any context.
 
I'm not sure this is what Franz Gall was expecting phrenology to come down to all these years later. lol

He must be disappointed. ;)

h t t p://img368.imageshack.us/my.php?image=milkcartonvj6.jpg
 
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