"All I wanna do is wipe bum.."

This thread is too hilarious... I hope the writers of The Onion are paying attention. It raises so many questions. What if you've got the "Booze Poos" and have to take a really big #2 necessitating more than three squares? I'm guessing you'd be ***** out of luck (sorry... couldn't resist).

I'd like to think I pee in my neighbour's rose bushes out of respect for the environment.
 
This thread is too hilarious... I hope the writers of The Onion are paying attention. It raises so many questions. What if you've got the "Booze Poos" and have to take a really big #2 necessitating more than three squares? I'm guessing you'd be ***** out of luck (sorry... couldn't resist).


Around here that's called stickyass.
 
you'd almost think this 'proposal' carried any weight from the attention it seems to be getting.
 
Well I don't think it's that bad of an idea, I already limit my toilet paper usage, I use only the amount that is required, sheet by sheet. When I was a kid I would ball up the paper and then wipe, which is horribly wasteful since a lot of surface area is unused, but I've learned to efficiently use each sheet. It's really not that hard or ridiculous as you lot make it out to be.
 
This thread is too hilarious... I hope the writers of The Onion are paying attention.
Well that's the only nearly intelligent remark anyone's made on this thread.

It was a joke.

Sheryl Crow said:
I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve". The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.
Sheesh.

As for the the BBC, is Auntie becoming senile?

Sheryl Crow said:
And by the way guys, the toilet paper thing...it was a JOKE!!
Got that?
 
Sheryl Crow proposes limit on use of toilet paper in bathroom visits



As linked to from one of my favorite blogs, "They'll take my toilet paper when they pry my cold, brown fingers from it."
She wants to ban the use of excessive toilet paper. It would be amusing if it didn't represent the views of way too many people - that government should play an integral part in every aspect of our lives, including the very most personal. As I have always said, "liberals" and "conservatives" (which I put in quotes since the liberals are not liberal and the conservatives are not conservative) are identical in their mentalities - that we little people need to be nannied and governed. They simply have different agendas. It is amazing to me that someone like Sheryl Crow who would most certainly advocate keeping the government out of our bedrooms, see's no problem with putting the government in our bathrooms and up our buttholes. People should be free to use as much toilet paper as they need to to get their asses clean. Of course, I'm sure old Sheryl has a bidet in her home, so it wouldn't be an issue for her.
 
She wants to ban the use of excessive toilet paper.
It was a joke. Joke. J - O - K - E. Joke.

Apparently aliens have irradiated the whole world with their Stupid Ray, and I alone survived the disaster unscathed thanks to my tinfoil loft insulation.

When the extraterrestrials land and take over, I'm going to try to make common cause with them.
 
Washing toilet paper? No-one noticed it was a joke?

Luckily for me, I despaired of humanity years ago, there's nothing more they can do to me.

Have you informed the BBC news website? Because they seem to be clueless about it. Their coverage doesn't mention washing, so perhaps they haven't checked the source.
 
Last edited:
Today? Nope. Alice Cooper, 2004

That's not the definition of a moron. Wish I could sit home reading the paper and getting drunk and not wiping and still have people asking me who to vote for. Anybody who can pull that life off is a genius in my book.
 
It was a joke. Joke. J - O - K - E. Joke.

Apparently aliens have irradiated the whole world with their Stupid Ray, and I alone survived the disaster unscathed thanks to my tinfoil loft insulation.

When the extraterrestrials land and take over, I'm going to try to make common cause with them.

Hah! I've already turned you in as having exposed their plans. Enjoy the salt mines loser.

Yup, scored Grand Imperial Emperor of Nebraska on that one.
 
Have you informed the BBC news website? Because they seem to be clueless about it. Their coverage doesn't mention washing, so perhaps they haven't checked the source.
I have; I've also given them a link to the website.

Meaniwhile this is spreading from news site to news site, and I use the term "news" loosely ... each taking the BBC as their authority ...

Moral: Always read the primary source.
 
Of course she’s going to say it’s a joke. After one or two days of people ridiculing her, what else is she going to say??? ”I was serious and I’m stupid”. What better way to cover up one’s stupidity then to say “I was joking”.
 
I have; I've also given them a link to the website.

Meaniwhile this is spreading from news site to news site, and I use the term "news" loosely ... each taking the BBC as their authority ...

Moral: Always read the primary source.

Amend that moral to "always read the primary source a few days after the primary source makes the comments, in case the primary source is now claiming it was a joke"
 

Back
Top Bottom