Volvo's new Sales Gimmick - Fear

Charlie Monoxide

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Charlie Monoxide
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Jul 8, 2003
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Volvo link http://www.volvocars.us/models/s80/FeaturesOptions.htm
check The Personal Car Communicator option ($495)

I caught a quick ad while watching Discover channel last night (Sunday) on cable. The ad went like this (from memory), "a woman just gets off an elevator in a parking garage top floor and is approaching her car (a Volvo) that is about 150 feet away. The next shot shows her vehicle sitting there starkly with no other vehicles around and the time is late evening. She glances at her remote key fob, and a light starts blinking. She turns around quickly and retreats back to the elevator. A spooky voice over say "she won't be getting in that car right now", and then says something about a heart monitor.

The gimmick is that there is a heart monitor in the car to warn the owner that someone (presumably the guy with the hook for a left hand from urban legends) is hiding in their vehicle.

It seems this is NOT a joke ad. This seems like some feature Karl Rove dreamt up.

I tried to google the "number of people attacked by hidden attackers in car" but got a lot of unrelated stuff. I'm not sure how to even put together the search parameters for this.

How many people get attacked by people hiding in their vehicles each year? Heck, how many ever (notwithstanding Hollywood movies)?

Charlie (the world is a scary place, VOTE REPUBLICAN) Monoxide
 
That's just stupid, a heartbeat monitor won't work against zombies...and you're probably only slightly more likely to be attacked by a person than a zombie.
 
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I saw this ad as well, and it had me scratching my head. Don't Volvos come with locks on doors? Don't they make that annoying honk-honk-honk noise if someone breaks in? Anybody who can beat those first two systems is probably capable of beating the third system, too.
 
I doubt if it would be a helpful feature against zombies, vampires OR Karl (we know he's got no heart) Rove. ;)
 
What really sucks, the heart-beat was her boyfriend. He was in the car waiting to giver her a ring. Alas he was dragged out of the car by the cops and is currently in lock-up.
 
Cheesejoff said:
That's just stupid, a heartbeat monitor won't work against zombies...and you're probably only slightly more likely to be attacked by a person than a zombie.
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I believe there will be a an upgrade to the heart monitor that will check for zombie's (ie rotting flesh, dead people muttering "brains"), but it's not available till next model year ....

Charlie (why Volvo (vulva) and a male symbol?) Monoxide
 
Well, you know for years, Michelin Tires have been running those ads that seem to be saying, "If you don't buy our tires, your cute little babies will die."
 
Charlie Monoxide said:
Volvo link http://www.volvocars.us/models/s80/FeaturesOptions.htm
check The Personal Car Communicator option ($495)

I caught a quick ad while watching Discover channel last night (Sunday) on cable. The ad went like this (from memory), "a woman just gets off an elevator in a parking garage top floor and is approaching her car (a Volvo) that is about 150 feet away. The next shot shows her vehicle sitting there starkly with no other vehicles around and the time is late evening. She glances at her remote key fob, and a light starts blinking. She turns around quickly and retreats back to the elevator. A spooky voice over say "she won't be getting in that car right now", and then says something about a heart monitor.

The gimmick is that there is a heart monitor in the car to warn the owner that someone (presumably the guy with the hook for a left hand from urban legends) is hiding in their vehicle.

It seems this is NOT a joke ad. This seems like some feature Karl Rove dreamt up.

I tried to google the "number of people attacked by hidden attackers in car" but got a lot of unrelated stuff. I'm not sure how to even put together the search parameters for this.

How many people get attacked by people hiding in their vehicles each year? Heck, how many ever (notwithstanding Hollywood movies)?

Charlie (the world is a scary place, VOTE REPUBLICAN) Monoxide
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Al Gore. You mean some feature Al Gore dreamed up. Al Gore is our national expert at dreaming up fears where none exist. Al Gore.
 
Charlie Monoxide said:
Volvo link http://www.volvocars.us/models/s80/FeaturesOptions.htm
check The Personal Car Communicator option ($495)

I caught a quick ad while watching Discover channel last night (Sunday) on cable. The ad went like this (from memory), "a woman just gets off an elevator in a parking garage top floor and is approaching her car (a Volvo) that is about 150 feet away. The next shot shows her vehicle sitting there starkly with no other vehicles around and the time is late evening. She glances at her remote key fob, and a light starts blinking. She turns around quickly and retreats back to the elevator. A spooky voice over say "she won't be getting in that car right now", and then says something about a heart monitor.

The gimmick is that there is a heart monitor in the car to warn the owner that someone (presumably the guy with the hook for a left hand from urban legends) is hiding in their vehicle.

It seems this is NOT a joke ad. This seems like some feature Karl Rove dreamt up.

I tried to google the "number of people attacked by hidden attackers in car" but got a lot of unrelated stuff. I'm not sure how to even put together the search parameters for this.

How many people get attacked by people hiding in their vehicles each year? Heck, how many ever (notwithstanding Hollywood movies)?

Charlie (the world is a scary place, VOTE REPUBLICAN) Monoxide
Click to expand...

Even though the Volvo brand is now owned by Americans, this is such a Euroweenie solution. This is what GUNS are for. You find a guy waiting to go all Ted Bundy on you, you pull out your gun, order him out of the car and shoot his ass. The only heart monitor needed is the slug you put into his heart to make sure it's no longer beating. Did I REALLY need to remind the car buying public of this? Jeez.

Besides, it used to be when people called the cops and told them "my car's talking to me and it has a beating heart inside!" that the cops would just sigh and send an Insane Asylum van to pick the crazy b!tch up and do a lobotomy on her post haste. Now we're supposed to take the little scaredy girl seriously? What a joke!
 
Its probably not before time...Everytime I walk past a Volvo I get this urge to hide in it and attack the returning owner. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets this urge....
 
Charlie Monoxide said:
Volvo link http://www.volvocars.us/models/s80/FeaturesOptions.htm
check The Personal Car Communicator option ($495)

I caught a quick ad while watching Discover channel last night (Sunday) on cable. The ad went like this (from memory), "a woman just gets off an elevator in a parking garage top floor and is approaching her car (a Volvo) that is about 150 feet away. The next shot shows her vehicle sitting there starkly with no other vehicles around and the time is late evening. She glances at her remote key fob, and a light starts blinking. She turns around quickly and retreats back to the elevator. A spooky voice over say "she won't be getting in that car right now", and then says something about a heart monitor.

The gimmick is that there is a heart monitor in the car to warn the owner that someone (presumably the guy with the hook for a left hand from urban legends) is hiding in their vehicle.

It seems this is NOT a joke ad. This seems like some feature Karl Rove dreamt up.

I tried to google the "number of people attacked by hidden attackers in car" but got a lot of unrelated stuff. I'm not sure how to even put together the search parameters for this.

How many people get attacked by people hiding in their vehicles each year? Heck, how many ever (notwithstanding Hollywood movies)?

Charlie (the world is a scary place, VOTE REPUBLICAN) Monoxide
Click to expand...

Actually, this is just more obvious - Volvo has always run ads with a subtext of "we can keep you from danger - they can't".:)
 
FarmallMTA said:
Even though the Volvo brand is now owned by Americans, this is such a Euroweenie solution. This is what GUNS are for. You find a guy waiting to go all Ted Bundy on you, you pull out your gun, order him out of the car and shoot his ass. The only heart monitor needed is the slug you put into his heart to make sure it's no longer beating. Did I REALLY need to remind the car buying public of this? Jeez.

Besides, it used to be when people called the cops and told them "my car's talking to me and it has a beating heart inside!" that the cops would just sigh and send an Insane Asylum van to pick the crazy b!tch up and do a lobotomy on her post haste. Now we're supposed to take the little scaredy girl seriously? What a joke!
Click to expand...
Have you stopped taking your medication ....

Charlie (show Al Gore some love) Monoxide
 
The Fool said:
Its probably not before time...Everytime I walk past a Volvo I get this urge to hide in it and attack the returning owner. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets this urge....
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You know Fool, I gotta agree with you. I think Volvo's are great cars, but somehow owning a Volvo seems to affect the driver's brain. When I was driving motorbikes in California and Nevada (too scary to drive a bike in Florida), I was cutoff more often by people driving Volvo's than any other make of car. Usually I was cutoff by a Volvo driver changing lanes, or generally ignoring the fact that other people use the roads as well as them. I think Volvo drivers should be shot on sight as a pre-emptive effort to keep our roads safer ....

Charlie (shoot Volvo drivers, win valuable prizes!) Monoxide
 
Charlie Monoxide said:
You know Fool, I gotta agree with you. I think Volvo's are great cars, but somehow owning a Volvo seems to affect the driver's brain. When I was driving motorbikes in California and Nevada (too scary to drive a bike in Florida), I was cutoff more often by people driving Volvo's than any other make of car. Usually I was cutoff by a Volvo driver changing lanes, or generally ignoring the fact that other people use the roads as well as them. I think Volvo drivers should be shot on sight as a pre-emptive effort to keep our roads safer ....

Charlie (shoot Volvo drivers, win valuable prizes!) Monoxide
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Not my experience with Volvo drivers at all. Usually they're the ones blocking the fast lane by going double nickel even though the posted limit is 70 and the actual speed is 85. They always stare straight ahead, never checking side to side. They come to a complete stop and THEN look around at YIELD signs. They are always the ones with 50 feet of space between them and the car in front after the light turns green before they accelerate the tiniest bit.

But, I gotta agree. Shoot 'em, yeah, but just because they're so GD slow and pestilential.
 
azazal said:
What really sucks, the heart-beat was her boyfriend. He was in the car waiting to giver her a ring. Alas he was dragged out of the car by the cops and is currently in lock-up.
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No, what REALLY sucks is that the woman was so scared to go to her car, she walked home instead, and got raped on the way.
 
fuelair said:
Actually, this is just more obvious - Volvo has always run ads with a subtext of "we can keep you from danger - they can't".:)
Click to expand...

True; the latest radio ad I heard here in the UK was something on the lines of "it may cost a little extra, but isn't your family worth it?", alongside some reference to the owner's young daughter.
 
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