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Dumbest Breathless News Coverage Ever

hgc

Penultimate Amazing
hgc
Joined
Jun 14, 2002
Messages
15,892
Since I'm working at home today, I have the TV on and I'm switching between the cable news channel. What am I hearing about, in breathless anticipation, about 6 times an hour?

Will Donald Trump fire his party girl Miss USA? Yes. CNN, MSNBC and Fox News are all following this story very closely, and giving continuous updates of nothing new whatsoever.

Those poor guys on Mt Hood are turning over in their snow caves in disgust.
 
The Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal runs a daily, Bottom Stories of the Day feature in their Best of the Web Today segment. This was yesterday (BOTW was off all last week):
Bottom Stories of the Week
  • "Kennedy Rethinks Support for a Kerry Presidential Run in '08"--headline, Boston Globe, Dec. 11
  • "Kerry Sees Vindication in Iraq Report"--headline, Boston Globe, Dec. 9
  • "Sen. John Kerry didn't have nice things to say about Sen. Hillary Clinton or his former running mate, John Edwards, on Tuesday night. But he didn't say anything bad about them either, according to witnesses."--New York Post, Dec. 8
Bottom Non-Kerry Stories of the Week
  • "Kucinich to Enter White House Race Tuesday"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 11
  • "Pataki Says He'll Decide on 2008 Race in Early '07"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 11
  • "Topolanek Not to Meet With President Vaclav Klaus Today"--headline, Ceske Noviny (Czech Republic), Dec. 15
  • "Bone Fragment Likely Not Joan of Arc"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 17
  • "Passenger Trains Won't Roll Into Wausau Soon"--headline, Wausau (Wis.) Daily Herald, Dec. 17
  • "Belgians Unamused by Mock Report on Dissolution"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 14
Click to expand...
 
hgc, I agree completely.

Almost the entire freaking planet are now a bunch of celebrity-worshipping, wealth-wanting, sheepling scumbags. Not all, but most.

This sorta crap sells because people let it sell. Sheepmonkey wastes of flesh the lot of 'em.

Whew...

I feel much better now.
 
This just in:

Donald Trump is now deciding what he'll have for lunch. He's pondering the sesame crusted tuna, but still likes the idea of a nice New York strip with garlic oregano butter. Oh, this is hot off the presses, he's going to go for the side salad with raspberry vinaigrette to start things off. Back to you Sandra!
 
bob_kark said:
This just in:

Donald Trump is now deciding what he'll have for lunch. He's pondering the sesame crusted tuna, but still likes the idea of a nice New York strip with garlic oregano butter. Oh, this is hot off the presses, he's going to go for the side salad with raspberry vinaigrette to start things off. Back to you Sandra!
Click to expand...

That has now been updated- The Donald will hold a press conference tomorrow to inform us of when he will make those decisions. Film at Eleven.
 
casebro said:
That has now been updated- The Donald will hold a press conference tomorrow to inform us of when he will make those decisions. Film at Eleven.
Click to expand...
Sorry to interrupt casebro, but Mr. Trump has now decided against the bloomin' onion. So no bloomin' onion for Mr. Trump today. Oh, I've just been told that Mr. Trump will be having the Alaskan king crab and a loaded baked potato for lunch. King crab, the king of all crabs, and back to you in the studio.
 
The Blessed and all Forgiving Donald is giving her a second chance.

"would you want a second chance if you'd done something wrong?" - Donald Trump

I feel all warm inside.

Tara just got caught up in the whirlwind of New York...

And now the questions about the 'apprentice' begin...
 
bob_kark said:
Sorry to interrupt casebro, but Mr. Trump has now decided against the bloomin' onion. So no bloomin' onion for Mr. Trump today. Oh, I've just been told that Mr. Trump will be having the Alaskan king crab and a loaded baked potato for lunch. King crab, the king of all crabs, and back to you in the studio.
Click to expand...

This just in: Mr. Trump has informed the waiter "Do you know who I am? I can buy and sell you!". The waiter responded by stammering, ducking into the kitchen and telling the busboy that "The Donald" probably has a little penis.
 
Kopji said:
Tara just got caught up in the whirlwind of New York...
Click to expand...
20 year old likes to party down. Stop the presses! It ain't just New York, but pretty much everywhere. Donald is making her go into rehab. I wonder if she actually has a drinking problem, and is humiliating herself in this way just to keep her job.

I'm reminded of the famous case of the dissolute teenage tennis star Jennifer Capriati. So much was made of the damage done to her by early stardom and all that. How about she was just a teenager who liked to smoke some dope and get wild. That was me and a lot of people I knew, except for the stardom part. And when I first moved to New York at the age of 22, I was out drinking almost every night until the wee hours.
 
HarryKeogh said:
This just in: Mr. Trump has informed the waiter "Do you know who I am? I can buy and sell you!". The waiter responded by stammering, ducking into the kitchen and telling the busboy that "The Donald" probably has a little penis.
Click to expand...
Breaking news from the men's restroom, Mr. Trump's little penis does in fact wear a little toupee. Sources close to his little penis confirm it looks just as ridiculous as the one on his head. What's that? Ladies and gentlemen, we have now recieved images of the toupee and...

632745881bc629a8a.jpg


Here we are, the first images of mini Trump and his toupee! And now, you have to wonder how Mini-Trump-Toupeegate will eventually effect Miss-USA-getting-firedgate. One thing's for certain, we haven't heard the last gate today. Back to you in the studio.
 
Oh, this was all about Donald. I sometimes stand in awe of his ability to make everything about him.

106145881ca045d4c.gif


And behold another book was opened, which was the book of life. And lo, the pages were turned and each page had a door.

Door number one:

A disgraced return to the small town life. Ridicule, regrets, shame. Maybe rehab. More likely working the customer service counter at Walmart.

Door number two:
Forgiveness, repentance, a second chance to see the light. Make things right again. Stand proud and do your job like a man.

OR

Door number three:
All of door number one, PLUS tabloid scandals of lesbian sex with Miss Teen USA and Miss Universe in Trump towers.

Humm, seemed like an easy choice.
 
Every time I see "reporters" blathering on about nonsense like this, I wish I could put them all on a plane to Iraq.
 
I don't know about you....

...But I can't live without knowing the intimate details of the sheer agony, unmitigated hell, and incredible sex lives of people like Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Aniston, and so on. These are the men and women who define this decade, in the way that Fawn Hall, Donna Rice, and Jessica Hahn defined the '80s, and Monica Lewinsky and Kato Kaelin defined the '90s!

Yes, I'm kidding. It's ridiculous that people are famous for being famous.

(Post 495)
 
So I just caught the headline... Trump gives skank second chance, says she'll enter rehab.

Way to go. Miss USA Rolemodel Skank shows the world that being an underage drinker is OK as long as you go to rehab. No respect for the written law is necessary.

Great message there for the kids.
 
Funny thing is that she doesn't think she has a problem. She freely admitted that she'll go into rehab, though, and do whatever else they want her to do to keep her crown.
 
Axenos said:
So I just caught the headline... Trump gives skank second chance, says she'll enter rehab.

Way to go. Miss USA Rolemodel Skank shows the world that being an underage drinker is OK as long as you go to rehab. No respect for the written law is necessary.

Great message there for the kids.
Click to expand...
Skank? That's pretty harsh. Based on what?
Underage drinking? Spare me the sanctimony. Any 20 year old who can get away with it should hit the clubs and have a good time - especially if you're not driving. You're only young once.

As for role model, that's a crock. The constituency of Miss USA consists of the miniscule community of rising beauty queens, already must worse traumatized by the bizarreness of what they're engaged in than the bad news of one of their own in trouble could wrought. The rest of the constituency are dirty old men ogling hot young flesh, and they're more than pleased by this development. Oh, there's also the blue hairs - and a little indignation is always good for them.

All in all, Tara Conner is doing great in her job. She even gave her boss Trump almost a whole week of pointless, vapid saturation media coverage, and there's nothing he loves more.
 
hgc said:
Since I'm working at home today, I have the TV on and I'm switching between the cable news channel. What am I hearing about, in breathless anticipation, about 6 times an hour?

Will Donald Trump fire his party girl Miss USA? Yes. CNN, MSNBC and Fox News are all following this story very closely, and giving continuous updates of nothing new whatsoever.

Those poor guys on Mt Hood are turning over in their snow caves in disgust.
Click to expand...

But, to be honest, I'm not sure those 3 guys deserve the non-stop coverage they've been getting either.
 
Being a hard-core news addict, I never lose sight of the fact that pretty well everything on TV is putting stuff on between commercials ....

Charlie (and hoping you don't change channels) Monoxide
 
Based on the fact that I consider her a skank. I don't care if you or anyone else does, or thinks I'm wrong for that matter.

As far as role model, perhaps your sarcasm detector missed my meaning. That's OK. Point is that Trump's organization went with all the role model rhetoric. Hence my sarcastic saying Miss USA Rolemodel Skank.

I call'em like I see'em. My own opinion.

It's nice you feel the need to defend the skanky skank, though.

Skank, skank, skankety skank... taking skankness to the bank. Which is what it's all about anyway, so who really cares.

I'm actually disappointed in myself that I took the time out to write about this nonsense. Damn sheepling brainwashing.

ETA: And as for opinions, mine matters as much in the grand scheme as yours and everyone else , which is not at all. :D
 
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