Ze Kraggash
New Blood
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2005
- Messages
- 6
I am seeking the help of the members of this board in creating a new pseudoscience -- homeopastrology. (Pronounced home-e-oh-pass-TROL-oh-gee)
This may sound like the science of self-made deli sandwiches, but it isn’t.
The reason all of the various versions of astrology don’t work is that they ignore the homeopathic principle. Some business models propose to, “Do more with less.” Homeopathy takes this to the logical extreme -- do everything with nothing. Applying homeopathic principles to astrology we find that the weaker an object’s gravitational force on the Earth, the stronger its astrological field strength. Traditional astrology focuses on the planets, which are too big and too close to have much of an effect.
A single electron in a distant galaxy would have the strongest astrological field. However, the angular movement relative to the Earth is very slow for such a distant object. As a result, the change in its effect over the course of a human lifetime is negligible. This would be true for anything outside our solar system.
The net astrological effect is a combination of the astrological field strength, and the angular speed of the object across the sky.
The Oort cloud comets would be the next big influence. However, they also don’t move very far across the sky in a human lifetime. In addition, their distribution is (we think) roughly spherically symmetric. As a result, their combined influences will tend to cancel out and produce no net effect.
It is the Kuiper Belt Objects (KBOs) that have the greatest influence. While the Pluto/Charon system is no longer considered a planet, it may well have the strongest astrological influence. Since it has the smallest orbit, it moves the fastest of any of the KBOs across the sky at just under 1.5 degrees per year.
It is crucial that we build huge telescopes so that we can find all of these KBOs. Everybody asks the National Science Foundation for money. I propose that we ask for GELT -- the Giant Extra-Large Telescope. Armed with accurate data about the KBO’s motions, the new science of homeopastrology could finally give us complete knowledge of the past and future behavior of everyone on Earth. We could:
1. End the fighting in Africa and the Middle East.
2. Eradicate all disease and world hunger.
3. Predict what will happen at the TAM5 pajama party.
I believe my development of homeopastrology qualifies me for the JREF prize. However, in keeping with the homeopathic principle, less is more, I am requesting an award of no more than $0.01 -- less would be even better!
I’m posting this on several boards in the hope that people can add more bells and whistles to homeopastrology and turn it into a real pseudoscience (oxymoron intended).
Some areas that still need work:
1. What is the exact nature of the astrological field strength? My intuition says it is just the reciprocal of the gravitational field strength, but it might be more complicated.
2. The net astrological effect is some combination of the astrological field strength and the angular speed of the object. The question is what combination? Added? Multiplied? Something else? The offers a great place to produce different, mutually incompatible, sects of homeopastrology down the road.
3. What are the actual astrological effects of each KBO in different parts of the sky? Feel free to pick one and be creative. For example, I am choosing Xena’s second (as yet undiscovered) moon Joxer. People born under the influence of Joxer tend to wear glasses and have more famous older brothers.
Go to it. The sky is the limit.
This may sound like the science of self-made deli sandwiches, but it isn’t.
The reason all of the various versions of astrology don’t work is that they ignore the homeopathic principle. Some business models propose to, “Do more with less.” Homeopathy takes this to the logical extreme -- do everything with nothing. Applying homeopathic principles to astrology we find that the weaker an object’s gravitational force on the Earth, the stronger its astrological field strength. Traditional astrology focuses on the planets, which are too big and too close to have much of an effect.
A single electron in a distant galaxy would have the strongest astrological field. However, the angular movement relative to the Earth is very slow for such a distant object. As a result, the change in its effect over the course of a human lifetime is negligible. This would be true for anything outside our solar system.
The net astrological effect is a combination of the astrological field strength, and the angular speed of the object across the sky.
The Oort cloud comets would be the next big influence. However, they also don’t move very far across the sky in a human lifetime. In addition, their distribution is (we think) roughly spherically symmetric. As a result, their combined influences will tend to cancel out and produce no net effect.
It is the Kuiper Belt Objects (KBOs) that have the greatest influence. While the Pluto/Charon system is no longer considered a planet, it may well have the strongest astrological influence. Since it has the smallest orbit, it moves the fastest of any of the KBOs across the sky at just under 1.5 degrees per year.
It is crucial that we build huge telescopes so that we can find all of these KBOs. Everybody asks the National Science Foundation for money. I propose that we ask for GELT -- the Giant Extra-Large Telescope. Armed with accurate data about the KBO’s motions, the new science of homeopastrology could finally give us complete knowledge of the past and future behavior of everyone on Earth. We could:
1. End the fighting in Africa and the Middle East.
2. Eradicate all disease and world hunger.
3. Predict what will happen at the TAM5 pajama party.
I believe my development of homeopastrology qualifies me for the JREF prize. However, in keeping with the homeopathic principle, less is more, I am requesting an award of no more than $0.01 -- less would be even better!
I’m posting this on several boards in the hope that people can add more bells and whistles to homeopastrology and turn it into a real pseudoscience (oxymoron intended).
Some areas that still need work:
1. What is the exact nature of the astrological field strength? My intuition says it is just the reciprocal of the gravitational field strength, but it might be more complicated.
2. The net astrological effect is some combination of the astrological field strength and the angular speed of the object. The question is what combination? Added? Multiplied? Something else? The offers a great place to produce different, mutually incompatible, sects of homeopastrology down the road.
3. What are the actual astrological effects of each KBO in different parts of the sky? Feel free to pick one and be creative. For example, I am choosing Xena’s second (as yet undiscovered) moon Joxer. People born under the influence of Joxer tend to wear glasses and have more famous older brothers.
Go to it. The sky is the limit.
