Today's Onion - Rogue Scientist Has Own Scientific Method

digithead

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digithead
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Feb 4, 2005
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See http://www.theonion.com/content/node/49180

While it's hysterical, it's sad to see how it reads like Schwartz and his ilk...

My favorite lines:

"While his peers employ meticulous testing and protracted deliberation, Hapner often refuses to formulate a hypothesis until midway through an experiment."

"Had he used the outmoded scientific method, Hapner said, few of the scientific advancements he has made would have been either achieved or remotely interesting."
 
whats a little scary is, written as well it is, i could see the humor totally missing some people. i have met people who really do think that scientists are stuffy and reluctant to change (which maybe you could say they are, but for good reason!), so they fall for people who talk like this. but i guess that is what makes this funny. guess it just hits close to home, ha.
 
My favorite bit: "calling test results as he sees them, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary."
 
What a fabulous article.

In my earlier skeptical days, when I would argue at length with conspiracy theorists for example, I would always have my arguments opposed by CTs who whould say, "but you're talking about the old Physics/Chemistry/Biology/Science, we're talking about the new, unsurpressed Science".

This article sums up such stupid thinking succinctly.

Of course they were reading sites like http://www.educate-yourself.org/ as their 'new science'. :D
 
Flange Desire said:
This is the very defining point of the satire seen at The Onion.
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Exactly. The very fact that none of it is so crazy that you wouldn't find someone thinking it's for real is what makes it so funny.

I remember back in 2001, when on another forum I frequented a fundie linked to an onion article in support for his claim that the Harry Potter books were turning kids to the dark side. I'm sure there wasn't a single person there who didn't literally laugh out loud with that one.
Landoverbaptist is also a good source of confusion for the fundies :D
 
oh yeah, i still get the landover newsletters. most of their stuff is so over the top it is obvious, but they can be pretty straight faced, too.
 
gfunkusarelius said:
oh yeah, i still get the landover newsletters. most of their stuff is so over the top it is obvious, but they can be pretty straight faced, too.
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My favorite section of the Landover site is the "Reader Mail," but does anyone know if those letters are actually sent in by readers? Even with my relatively low opinion of humanity, I find it hard to believe that there are that many truly stupid people out there.
 
Another pardody page was the classic Creation Science Fair, which may have been associated with Landover Baptist. I forwarded that link to several people, and all of them believed it was real. Stuff like this:
Middle School Level
1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"

Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
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Wonderful, and a good reminder why we should all read the Onion each week!
 
digithead said:
See http://www.theonion.com/content/node/49180

While it's hysterical, it's sad to see how it reads like Schwartz and his ilk...

My favorite lines:

"While his peers employ meticulous testing and protracted deliberation, Hapner often refuses to formulate a hypothesis until midway through an experiment."

"Had he used the outmoded scientific method, Hapner said, few of the scientific advancements he has made would have been either achieved or remotely interesting."
Click to expand...

Sounds like the same brand of science the 9/11 CT people use.
 
CurtC said:
Another pardody page was the classic Creation Science Fair, which may have been associated with Landover Baptist. I forwarded that link to several people, and all of them believed it was real.
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I would like to point out that events like this actually do exist. To wit: The Homeschool Science Fair, put on every year at Har-Mar Mall, Roseville, Minnesota. (I know about this because I used to work at the Barnes & Noble there.)

Some advice from their site:
Five things to remember:
1. Know your material.
2. Be Confident.
3. Communicate well.
4. Be thorough.
5. Pray your exhibit will witness to non-Christian visitors.
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They have a page of suggested ideas that includes things like, "Does Tanning leather affect C14 content and date?" and "Why did God create the moon to control the tides?"

Oh, and one more "General hint: please include your Bible verse on the poster, not just in your report."
 
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