No one suffers in any way from a thought that arouses you. Any suffering is from actions independent of those thoughts.
I very strongly disagree with this. Allow me to explain.
I'm going to start with a completely different paraphilia - a foot fetish. Diagnostically speaking, this would be a paraphilic disorder, where the paraphilia is focused on a specific non-sexual part of the body (fetish), where that body part is feet. Paraphilia is the class of disorder, fetishism is the subclass of the disorder, and feet is the specific trigger of the fetishistic paraphilia. At this point, I expect you to proclaim that a foot fetish is totally not at all a disorder, it's just arousal by feet, not a big deal, and I'm an evil bigot for providing a clinically accurate description of a disorder in the DSM.
Now, in and of itself, being aroused by feet isn't immediately and necessarily a problem. But it is a problem when it becomes clinically significant - meaning that it causes distress to the individual experiencing the condition, or when it impedes their ability to live a normal life, or when it interferes with other people being able to live their lives without disruption or risk introduced by the condition. So if a person is nothing more than somewhat aroused by feet, but it's minor and non-disruptive, then it's not a
paraphilic disorder. It's a kink, and nothing more.
On the other hand, if the kink is so strong that the individual can't get aroused without seeing or interacting with feet, that's a problem - it impedes their ability to have a normal healthy sexual relationship. Similarly, if the kink is so strong that it gets in the way of their
partner's healthy sexual relationships, it's a paraphilia. You might think this sounds minor, but imagine a situation in which a male cannot get aroused unless they are stroking or handling their partner's feet, but the partner gets no arousal or enjoyment out of having their feet stroked in that way. Now the partner has to submit to something
they don't enjoy in order to have a physical interaction with their partner. That makes it a paraphilic disorder - even if you don't think it's a big deal, it still meets the clinical criteria of paraphilic fetishism focused on feet.
If you're heading to the beach with your buddy, and you know that they have a serious foot fetish... that might introduce a bit of discomfort for you, wouldn't you say? Hanging around at the beach where almost everyone's feet are uncovered and visible puts you in a situation where you are accompanying your pal
while they're engaging in a sexual activity. It's not sexual for you, but you know that they're effectively watching porn with you present. They are arousing themselves while you're there.
At this point, would you say it's still no big deal, not a problem for anyone?
Now let's take that one step further. Your buddy wants to go to the beach with a group of 10 friends and acquaintances. Now your friend is going to be arousing themselves in the presence of 10 people, none of whom have consented to take part in their sexual activity. Let alone the impact on everyone else at the beach - all of them are now players in your pal's sexual role play without consent, even if it's without their knowledge. Do you still think it's not a big deal, it's nothing more than arousal by feet?
What if your friend with the foot fetish managed to convince their employer that everyone has to wear open-toed sandals or flip-flops at work? What if they influenced policy so that other people were now required to present the object of that pal's sexual desire on a regular basis, whether they wanted to or not? Every person that they work with is now required by policy to take part in your friend's sexual arousal.
Do you think that's a problem?