Deism is just non-specific theism.
And again, I've been right where you are at for most of my teen and adult life:
Q: Do you believe in god?
A: No.
Q: Do you disbelieve in god?
A: No. Therefore I am a third option.
But that's not the conclusion. The conclusion is you are an atheist, lacking a belief in a god. Being open to ideas does not put you in the middle somewhere. You believe in a god, or you do not. Not being sure is solidly in the "not" department, as counterintuitive as it feels.
If you want to vascillate about what we mean by god, that's fine. Is god nature? No. Nature is nature. Is god the laws of physics? No. The laws of physics are the laws of physics. We can say a fleshlight is god, but come on... that's playing games, not moving towards clarity.
A god, by any meaningful definition, is a superior, sentient supernatural being (just to include little gods in Greek mythology and all). For our purposes, we are talking about an intelligent designer of the universe.
So: y'all believe in one of them? It's a y/n.