What you're missing here is that we started out being nice, we started out being careful of feelings and considerate. If you doubt me - go back to the inception of this thread and read through them.
Almost every single one of us in this thread - as well as almost every 'gender critical' or 'biological realist' or just plain 'women are human too' person out there started out from a position of care and trying to find a reasonable middle ground in this. Almost all of us had prior experience with the rare transsexual who seemed to be trying really hard to fit in and not make waves and not make females feel intimidated. And every one of us still feels a core of empathy for those few people who are truly going through some ◊◊◊◊ and trying to cope.
But we've now had nearly two decades of persistently being told that we're transphobes and bigots and right wing propagandists and deluded and all sorts of other denigrating names... all for the entirely reasonable position of "Hey, I think it's a bad idea to put genitally intact male sex offenders into a female prison" or "Hey, I'm not really okay with having penises dangled in front of young females in the female showers and changing rooms" or "You know, I think female rape survivors should be allowed to have same-sex clinicians do their medical exams" or "It seems kind of unfair that males are winning female athletics competitions, that displaces females from their own sports" or "I feel a bit miffed seeing the media laud the highest paid female CEO when that person is actually a male" or "My grandma needs help bathing and has requested that the person cleaning her vulva be female, and we're all a bit put-out that the caregiver is clearly a male complete with stubble and a bulge in their way-too-short tight-fitting miniskirt" and "Eleanor Roosevelt put this rule in place decades ago that gives females equal representation in NY and this obvious male whose penis we can clearly see through their dress has taken one of those places, that's not equal representation for females" and similar such very common sense notions.
And we've repeatedly witnessed males in dresses show up to verbally abuse, threaten with rape, and physically assault females who gathered to discuss whether or not there might possibly be a conflict between self-declared gender and sex-based rights. We've seen males with signs calling for females who object to their presence to be punched, raped, or murdered for daring to say no to their demands.
We started out being nice. We started out trying to find a compromise. And what we have experienced has been harassment and threats and a complete rejection of anything that allows females to retain safety and dignity from males.
So while I understand your desire for "tone" here, I not-so-respectfully don't give a ◊◊◊◊ about "how" it's being said. We tried nice, and we have suffered for a quarter of a century only to have yet another male come along and chide us for not being "nice enough" to the people who insist upon violating our boundaries and threatening us.