Steve
Penultimate Amazing
So the Bristol Airport Car Park Fire was caused by 'accidental ignition'.
You couldn't make it up. Why does the British public tolerate this level of crap?
''Ello,'ello, 'ello, <fx knees bend> What's goin' on 'ere, then?"
"Well, you see, Officer, I just popped into Waitrose to do my weekly shop and - **** me! - I came out to discover my car managed to accidentally ignite itself!"
"Ah, that'll be a derv, then. Evenin' all. Mind 'ow you go."
Zooterkin nailed it: