Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

Status
Not open for further replies.
CORed said:
If you are knowledgeable enough to solve the problems that the script-monkeys can solve yourself, the trick is getting past the script-monkeys to somebody that actually can solve your problem. With some companies, that is next to impossible.
Click to expand...
I find talking past the script monkey generally works. They escalate the call quickly.

Another useful tactic is to give them a certain mobile number and tell them to check their internal directory. This is one reason I'm an inveterate picker-up of business cards at events, it never hurts to have a CEO's mobile number, I learned that twenty years ago.
 
catsmate said:
Yes. And given Eir's customer dissatisfaction rates it shows.


Generally I agree. I never did phone support in my twenty plus tears years in IT. But I've dealt with lots of people who did (one of whom finds the 999 control centre a relaxing change).
But I've got to experience to say to the script monkey that A, B, C, D, E, F and G don;t work, therefore the problem is I, J or K which are down to you. So escalate them beyond the appeasement level, and right now. I want to talk to the person who can fix the problem you have caused. And this morning I did that by talking over the script monkey until he escalated it, and repeated this until I spoke to person#4 who could actually see the relevant system and fixed the problem.

…snip…
Click to expand...

Sounds like it isn’t a company that has outsourced its CS. With those companies there is usually literally and honestly nowhere or no one they can escalate anything to.
 
*Sighs* I'm there again.

"I'm poor widdle old woman who's not good with these new fangled, what do you call them, computer things. These text is too small for my poor widdle old lady eyes can you make it bigger and still fit the exact same amount of text on screen?"
 
JoeMorgue said:
*Sighs* I'm there again.

"I'm poor widdle old woman who's not good with these new fangled, what do you call them, computer things. These text is too small for my poor widdle old lady eyes can you make it bigger and still fit the exact same amount of text on screen?"
Click to expand...

"I want all the groceries in one bag, but the bag shouldn't be heavy."
 
JoeMorgue said:
*Sighs* I'm there again.

"I'm poor widdle old woman who's not good with these new fangled, what do you call them, computer things. These text is too small for my poor widdle old lady eyes can you make it bigger and still fit the exact same amount of text on screen?"
Click to expand...

That's definitely doable. If a bigger monitor is in the budget.
 
A colleague just had one of those nightmare calls from someone who refused to follow established procedure, didn't understand instructions, and basically talked over her the whole time. She ended up terminating the call due to inappropriate language.

A developer, of course. :D
 
Last edited:
JoeMorgue said:
*Sighs* I'm there again.

"I'm poor widdle old woman who's not good with these new fangled, what do you call them, computer things. These text is too small for my poor widdle old lady eyes can you make it bigger and still fit the exact same amount of text on screen?"
Click to expand...
Does she own a drive-in theatre? Or a Cinemax?

Darn, ninja'd.
 
catsmate said:
I find talking past the script monkey generally works. They escalate the call quickly.

Another useful tactic is to give them a certain mobile number and tell them to check their internal directory. This is one reason I'm an inveterate picker-up of business cards at events, it never hurts to have a CEO's mobile number, I learned that twenty years ago.
Click to expand...
I'm more patient. But not always compliant.

As they go through their scripted actions they want me to do, I (a) sip coffee, (b) browse this forum, (c) a little Solitaire, (d) catch up on news, etc. Meanwhile, keep saying "Yep, done", "OK, done", "Nope, nothing" in response to their instructions and requests for details. Because I have already done all these tests and checks before I even picked up the phone to call because I am an L2 and L3 tech for my own company. Until they get to the part where they say "Looks like I will have to forward this on to our L2 support", and then I ask for a job number, the L2's name and their contact details. Which is what I wanted and asked for in the first place.

Hey, it passes the time.
 
Norman Alexander said:
I'm more patient. But not always compliant.

As they go through their scripted actions they want me to do, I (a) sip coffee, (b) browse this forum, (c) a little Solitaire, (d) catch up on news, etc. Meanwhile, keep saying "Yep, done", "OK, done", "Nope, nothing" in response to their instructions and requests for details. Because I have already done all these tests and checks before I even picked up the phone to call because I am an L2 and L3 tech for my own company. Until they get to the part where they say "Looks like I will have to forward this on to our L2 support", and then I ask for a job number, the L2's name and their contact details. Which is what I wanted and asked for in the first place.

Hey, it passes the time.
Click to expand...

That's what I do. I'm often astonished how quick my router switches off and on, if they say switch it off and wait for 10 seconds (for the electricity to drain away...) mine is back on and ready at 10.1 seconds.
 
Norman Alexander said:
I'm more patient. But not always compliant.

As they go through their scripted actions they want me to do, I (a) sip coffee, (b) browse this forum, (c) a little Solitaire, (d) catch up on news, etc. Meanwhile, keep saying "Yep, done", "OK, done", "Nope, nothing" in response to their instructions and requests for details. Because I have already done all these tests and checks before I even picked up the phone to call because I am an L2 and L3 tech for my own company. Until they get to the part where they say "Looks like I will have to forward this on to our L2 support", and then I ask for a job number, the L2's name and their contact details. Which is what I wanted and asked for in the first place.

Hey, it passes the time.
Click to expand...
We're not allowed to give out direct contact details for support staff. First, if everything is channelled through the Service Desk it's logged and recorded for transparency and accountability. Second, it avoids the "run over by a bus" problem where the only person who knows the details of the issue is suddenly unavailable and you have to start over.
 
arthwollipot said:
We're not allowed to give out direct contact details for support staff. First, if everything is channelled through the Service Desk it's logged and recorded for transparency and accountability. Second, it avoids the "run over by a bus" problem where the only person who knows the details of the issue is suddenly unavailable and you have to start over.
Click to expand...
I know. No problem with proper call logging. In fact, I insist on it. But when a caller says "I'm L2 support for this technology and have already been through these tests, etc. May I talk to an L2 tech, please?", it is a waste of time for both ends having to go through ALL the "turn it off and on" steps again just to tick their boxes.

In many cases, I have been perfectly satisfied with an L1 response like: "Ah I see you seem to understand the tech. This is probably due to ongoing issue XXX. We are working on that currently, with an estimate of YYY-time delay. If it doesn't clear after YYY-time, call back and we will take it from there. Otherwise, how can I help?"
 
Norman Alexander said:
I know. No problem with proper call logging. In fact, I insist on it. But when a caller says "I'm L2 support for this technology and have already been through these tests, etc. May I talk to an L2 tech, please?", it is a waste of time for both ends having to go through ALL the "turn it off and on" steps again just to tick their boxes.

In many cases, I have been perfectly satisfied with an L1 response like: "Ah I see you seem to understand the tech. This is probably due to ongoing issue XXX. We are working on that currently, with an estimate of YYY-time delay. If it doesn't clear after YYY-time, call back and we will take it from there. Otherwise, how can I help?"
Click to expand...
We're not even allowed to give timeframes. :D One to three business days is all we're allowed to say, because that's our SLA.

I've developed a patter for this, because I say it so many times a day.

"We endeavour to fulfil all requests within one to three business days. We can usually keep to that timeframe but please keep in mind that there is always the possibility of unavoidable delays due to factors beyond our control. The job has been escalated to the appropriate team, and they will get in contact with you as soon as they can."

That usually satisfies them.
 
Darat said:
That's what I do. I'm often astonished how quick my router switches off and on, if they say switch it off and wait for 10 seconds (for the electricity to drain away...) mine is back on and ready at 10.1 seconds.
Click to expand...
Them: unplug your router and wait 10 seconds.
Me: there's a battery in it.
Them: uhhhhh.....
 
Mongrel said:
Or just CTRL + Scroll wheel.
Click to expand...
No, you missed this bit:
JoeMorgue said:
*Sighs* I'm there again.

"I'm poor widdle old woman who's not good with these new fangled, what do you call them, computer things. These text is too small for my poor widdle old lady eyes can you make it bigger and still fit the exact same amount of text on screen?"
Click to expand...
 
One reason I love Zen (my ISP) support is I can tell them I'm an ex-unix and windows sysadmin but know nothing about broadband protocols and we're off and they're asking questions about my ipconfig etc.

A bit of UK slang : "talktalk" is UK slang for "************* ************ inbred braindead shower of useless wastes of ******* oxygen". Pretty efficient bandwidth saver.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
JoeMorgue said:
*Sighs* I'm there again.

"I'm poor widdle old woman who's not good with these new fangled, what do you call them, computer things. These text is too small for my poor widdle old lady eyes can you make it bigger and still fit the exact same amount of text on screen?"
Click to expand...

Easy-peasy! Just adjust the kerning and line spacing.

Of course, that would make it much more difficult to read. Then she'd get to say the classic "Well, it's what I asked for, but it's not what I want."
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top Bottom