Speaking of dating sites, Tom's example made me think of a moral dilemma.
Suppose that, like Tom and a lot of people, my self image of myself is more youthful than the reality of my body.
If I have to enter my birthdate into my profile for the dating site, should I use a birthdate that more closely aligns with my maturity identification, or should I use the birthdate that was assigned to me at birth?
Hmm...I see your point. However, the mismatch inherent in my self-image is not of the sort that causes dysphoria. It's also not so much that my image is that I am 30, but that I can do the same things I did when I was 30 despite being 50. It would not make sense to list my age as 30, because my self-image isn't about the number, it's about the state of my body.
And I think there are people who do that. Not because their self-image is that they are thirty, but because their self-image is that they would be perceived as thirty, and therefore thirty year olds should be interested in them if they get past the age filter. I think those people are stupid, but won't go further down that line.
But anyway, to circle back, I don't think an age incongruence causes dysphoria to the same extent as gender incongruence. Or if it does, it has less of an effect on the outside world. If an old guy wears young clothes and listens to top 40, we might see him as trying to be hip. Hell, we might even feed it: every night club I've been in when I was younger had at least one older guy who was a regular. They got a lot of (positive) attention and everyone was their friend, though I don't recall anyone actually taking them home. But there aren't age segregated spaces. Maybe sports. But playing in a younger league (as an adult) may actually be allowed sometimes as advanced age is a disadvantage, not an advantage. (Punching up would be playing in a younger age league.)
If there were no significant ways in which men and women presented, expression of trans-identity would not be an issue to others. But then, without the differences, it also might not provide relief from dysphoria.
I'm rambling here, but if:
- We lived in a society that treated men and women the same. (No need for affirmative action, scholarships, etc.)
- All facilities were unisex and safe.
- Fashions and styles were not sex/gender specific.
- The popular sports of the day were all virtual, and there were no physical advantages (thus no mens/womens sports).
It's a play on an old joke: If you're young and you aren't a liberal, you have no heart; if you're old and you're not a conservative, you have no brain. It wasn't intended as a judgement on you personally. It's using the "aggregate you".