I think focusing on bathrooms is silly, personally. That's the issue of least concern here.
I'm hung up on all this "sex doesn't exist and isn't binary" business. That's the exact point at which I lose my ability to go along with the whole thing. And I disagree that it makes me transphobic, because I know at least two transpeople who have no desire to deny that sex is binary and actual.
I'm going to be really honest right now. I'm starting to see the denial of sex and the push to change words referring to it as just another segment of this scary anti-intellectual trend that's been growing around us for years. It's what brought me to this forum in the first place - most of the people around me in real life were reality-deniers. "I don't care what your study says, it's all been covered up, I know vaccines cause autism. I know 9/11 was an inside job." It all seemed like a big deal then, but I now long for those simpler days. Because things have gotten WAY worse. People just make up their own realities with impunity now, like the millions who think Trump really won the election. Reality doesn't matter in the slightest, because people seem to have stopped agreeing that it matters. Debunking is useless; we might as well all be living in separate little worlds.
Up until this point, the kind of stuff I'm referring to seemed like mostly a right-wing, conspiracy-oriented phenomenon (with a few REALLY far-left moonbats thrown in on the holistic healing end of things, perhaps). But now, the mainstream left is starting to take up this rallying cry, and I'm fine with it up to the point where I'm being screamed at for saying that men and women are real, definable things. Change your gender, call yourself a woman, I'm not bothered. Come in and get naked in front of me, wave whatever you've got around like a prize (to paraphrase cullennz's terms). I really don't care (though I'm not disregarding the feelings of women who do). But if you're going to tell me that there is no such thing as a woman, I'm going to start seeing you as crazy and disingenuous. I can't understand what the angle is there. How does that help anybody? If there's no such thing as sex, then what are trans-people changing to?
I thought it was gender they were changing, and sex was different, and that made sense to me - but the terms are being used interchangeably now, and it's making me feel like no one even cares about reality or making sense.