You are not properly separating biological sex (which is a scientific and medical absolute*) from gender (which is a social construct, a lived experience/mindset, which is subjective and fluid).
No. You aren't getting it. I'm not talking about biological sex as identity itself. I'm talking about the contribution the effects of biological sex has on identity.
Remember, you just defined gender as:
a social construct, a lived experience/mindset, which is subjective and fluid
Note the highlighted section. What I am saying is that for cis women, biological sex, it's effects and consequences (including associated social pressures) contribute a significant portion to the highlighted portion. Your own definition supports this. Unless you want to say that the effects of biology are an insignificant part of their lived experience?
Now, as a male, can't really speak for exactly how much of their identity is going to be shaped by this. I suspect it is going to vary as we are all individuals.
But neither can you, as a male, say with authority that the contribution of biology (its effects...etc) to a cis woman's identity are insignificant. I would say you are improperly dismissing the effects of biological factors on identity.
If you are going to use "women" as a class of identity where the identities of cis and trans women overlap, please define that overlap and why the term "woman" excludes the biological related portions of lived experiences. And why it must be called "woman" instead of some new term that doesn't represent something else to so many people?
What do you call the portion of identity that results from lived experiences related to biological effects that are apparently not included in the gender identity "woman?"
More to the point, I'm trying to get you to understand the opposing side from your arguments.
Let's perhaps try another analogy
Suppose you and all your friends are Chicago Bears fans. And let's say that the analogue of "sex" is "residence/birthplace", and the analogue of "gender" is "which football team you support".
So if someone (let's call him Bob) is born and raised in Chicago (= "sex"), the high likelihood is that this person will be a fan of the Chicago Bears (= "gender"). The person's birthright is a fixed, factual, immutable truth; while the fandom of the football team is a social condition, a lived experience, and so on.
Now let's take another person: Charlie. Charlie was born and raised in Baltimore. So the automatic presumption is that he will be a Baltimore Ravens fan (as are all of his friends). But Charlie doesn't feel like it's right for him to support the Ravens. He much prefers the football played by the Bears, to the extent that he identifies as a Bears fan.
So Charlie starts travelling to Bears games. He sits in the stands, among the other Bears fans - most of whom will have been born and raised in Chicago.
And the pertinent question is this: is Bob's lived experience of being a Bears fan in any way compromised/de-legitimised/diluted by the fact that sitting next to him in the stand, cheering for the Bears, is Charlie?
*stands back and prepares for (possibly deliberate) misinterpretation of what I've just written, by the usual suspect(s)*
* Except for in an extremely small proportion of people who are not born with a definitive binary sex.
LOL


I suppose we could have a lot of fun with American football analogies on this thread. Especially those involving the Baltimore Ravens....
See, a lot of people in Baltimore are likely to be Indianapolis Colts fans...cuz that's the team they grew up with. But the Colts moved (transitioned?) to Indianapolis.
Which angered a lot of Baltimore fans, some of whom abandoned the Colts.
So after being passed over for an expansion team, Baltimore finally got a team...the Cleveland Browns. The Browns moved (players and all) to Baltimore. But an agreement was made to leave the name "Browns" in Cleveland, so the "Cleveland Browns" now identify as the "Baltimore Ravens."
A few years later, a new expansion team was born and assigned the identity "Cleveland Browns" at birth.


Anyway, I understand your analogy, but I think it's too simplistic to be useful. For example, it doesn't give Chicago fans a reason to object to non-native Chicago fans other than snobbery. (Is that what you think? Do you really think the motivation of the people you are arguing against is some sort of snobbery or dislike of trans people? Because that is a completely different motivation from fears or safety concerns. Rational or not.)
If you used college football bowl games you could get closer, I think:
LSU and Michigan are in a bowl game.
The bowl gives each school an allotment of tickets to sell to their fans.
Johnny is an LSU student, but he is a Michigan fan and he wants to be seated in the Michigan section where he will be more comfortable wearing his Michigan sweatshirt. So he purchases his ticket from the Michigan site.
Mary and her friend Sally are Michigan students. Mary tries to buy tickets for herself and Sally, but the last of Michigan's allotment has been sold, so she can't get the ticket for Sally.
Game day comes, and Sally takes her seat. In the seat next toher is Johnny in his Michigan shirt. But it's a cold day and Johnny grabs a hat. He doesn't have a Michigan hat, but he has an LSU hat. So sally sees someone next to her wearing ambiguous team gear. In talking to Johnny she finds out that he is an LSU student, but bought Michigan tickets because he identifies as a Michigan fan.
Now Sally's upset because an LSU student bought the ticket that should have belonged to her friend as a Michigan student.
Is
that a useful analogy? Not really. What Mary/Sally lose by Johnny's actions is not comparable to the gender rights situation. (More material and less abstract.) But at least it takes into account more of the variables than yours did.
Still, neither analogy accurately represents the situation although on their surface both can illustrate
aspects of the situation. The situations are too complicated to argue by analogy and much easier to, as The Prestige pointed out simply argue on their own merits.
If we could only agree on terms so we don't talk past each other....