I have zero objection to anyone who is even moderately passing. Hell, if they seem like they're giving it a genuine go, I'm fine with that. Not so crazy about adult male genitalia being exposed in the presence of minor girls, though.
I'm for the common sense approach, which I've presented several times: Use whichever restroom or locker room most people are probably going to assume you belong in. If you have body parts that are likely to create interest or concern in a locker room, even though your other attributes wouldn't, be discrete.
I don't require a narrow definition of gender. Sex is what it is, it's biology. The only places I start backing off a bit are when it comes to specific items, where it really is a matter of sex that is at the heart of it. Sports, for instance, is a tough one, because there is an undeniable physical advantage for people who had a male puberty. Some of that can be countered by hormone treatments, but not all of it.
Prisons is another one, where I'm really not okay with physically intact transwomen being placed in the female prisons. I have no problem being inconsistent on this one, though - there's a need for some reasonable judgment. So a transwoman who has actively been living as a woman for an extended period of time, but hasn't fully surgically transitioned and has no history of violence, sure, maybe place them with the ladies. I'll also own my double standard here and say that even if a transman has fully transitioned, it's probably safer for him to be housed with the females than with the males. If he hasn't transitioned, he should definitely NOT be housed with the males.
As a transwoman, I would very much like to hear what your perspective is on what it means to be a woman. I have no ill-will, and I mean no offense, and I'll happily and wholeheartedly treat you how you wish to be treated in almost every possible situation. But I truly don't understand how you can claim to be a woman
the same as me.
I don't understand what 'being a woman' means to you. My experience of being a woman is innately tied to my sex and my lived experience. So I would genuinely appreciate it if you would be willing to share your perspective on this.