Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Norman Alexander said:
All these people who in training struggle with cut-and-paste. And yet in the coffee break they are playing Solitaire at a million miles per hour. I usually find it's a matter of motivation, not skills limitations.
Click to expand...

"You see that highlighted paragraph that needs to be moved here? Pretend that's a red 7. Now this spot is a black 6. Click that and drag it here."

Nah, too many words.
 
alfaniner said:
"You see that highlighted paragraph that needs to be moved here? Pretend that's a red 7. Now this spot is a black 6. Click that and drag it here."

Nah, too many words.
Click to expand...
Some of the "best" motivation for these slackers learning goes like this:

1. These skills are very basic and easy enough to learn. We can see you can do them if you try hard enough.
2. These skills are a necessary part of your job. We are paying you to learn them.
3. If you don't learn and use these skills then you don't qualify for your job, or your pay.
4. If you don't qualify for your job, you will be demoted or let go, and we will get in someone to replace you.
5. Nobody is not expendable around here...


Or more simply as: LEARN, OR BE REPLACED BY A VERY SMALL SHELL SCRIPT.
 
Darat said:
This explains a lot.
Click to expand...

Well it is what it is. The only way of interpreting "Do you want to do A or B?" so that "Yes" is a valid answer is as "Do you want to do (A or B)?" Which, in turn, means that TM was told to choose himself.
 
caveman1917 said:
Well it is what it is. The only way of interpreting "Do you want to do A or B?" so that "Yes" is a valid answer is as "Do you want to do (A or B)?" Which, in turn, means that TM was told to choose himself.
Click to expand...

It really doesn't - which as I said explains a lot.
 
Darat said:
It really doesn't - which as I said explains a lot.
Click to expand...

Yes it really does. And false statements can not explain anything. You're of course free to make an argument for your claim, in particular you will have to provide another interpretation of "Do you want to do A or B?" such that "Yes, please" is a valid response. I won't hold my breath...
 
caveman1917 said:
Yes it really does. And false statements can not explain anything. You're of course free to make an argument for your claim, in particular you will have to provide another interpretation of "Do you want to do A or B?" such that "Yes, please" is a valid response. I won't hold my breath...
Click to expand...
Who says it is a valid response, that is your assumption. Most people who will have dealt with communication with other people would have recognised the answer was not a matter of logic.
 
Sheesh, guys, save it for emails to project management. My post here was obviously a description of what I actually said in real life to those bozos, it wasn't literally a transcription, so there's no way they could have interpreted it as a logical statement they could evaluate in that pedantic programmer way. It actually went like this:

We can do THIS:

[illustrative example given]

OR we can do THAT:

[illustrative example given]

[A couple of sentences pointing out the difference]

Which should I do?

Yours In Christ,
Ramhard X Beefslab (that's my porn name)
 
TragicMonkey said:
Sheesh, guys, save it for emails to project management. My post here was obviously a description of what I actually said in real life to those bozos, it wasn't literally a transcription, so there's no way they could have interpreted it as a logical statement they could evaluate in that pedantic programmer way. It actually went like this:

We can do THIS:

[illustrative example given]

OR we can do THAT:

[illustrative example given]

[A couple of sentences pointing out the difference]

Which should I do?

Yours In Christ,
Ramhard X Beefslab (that's my porn name)
Click to expand...

Yes. Do it.
 
TragicMonkey said:
This project is too high-profile to skip the CYA step. I need written agreement to whatever approach I take or else when it inevitably blows up (the whole project is a stupid idea) those in charge will scramble to place blame, and I don't want it landing on "TM did the wrong thing, he should have asked".

I have two conflicting psychological drives: Get This Crap Over With versus CYA. Instincts tell me this is a CYA thing.
Click to expand...

Draft a suitable fail-deadly email. CC it widely, enable receipts and keep off0site copy.

To: IDIOT-IN-CHIEF
Cc: LESSER-IDIOT-#1, LESSER-IDIOT-#2, LESSER-IDIOT-#3, BOSS-IDIOT

Hi there,
as agreed we in IT will be proceeding to implement <SOLUTION A with brief description aimed at IDIOT level understanding> on <DATE> at <TIME>.

Please ensure <LIST OF ANTI-IDIOT MEASURES> are carried out as agreed prior to this time. Remember the possibility of <UNPLEASANT CONSEQUENCES> if these are not done in advance.

Thanks in advance,

TragicMonkey (for IT services)
 
I may have mentioned this one before, but it just happened to me again. In fact it happens to me all the gorram time.

I wonder how long people think it takes me to type a number.

Them: Hi I'd like to follow up on a job.

Me: Okay, do you have the job number?

Them: Yes. I don't know if it's a one-one, or...

Me: It's I I. All our tickets start with I I.

Them. Okay, so the job number is I............................. I..........................

Me: .................... Yes?

Them: Four......... one......... three............................................

Me: ................................................ Yes?

Them: Seven............. two................. six.......................................

Me: ............................................................................Yes?

Them: ...............seven.

Me: Thank You.
 
arthwollipot said:
I may have mentioned this one before, but it just happened to me again. In fact it happens to me all the gorram time.

I wonder how long people think it takes me to type a number.

Them: Hi I'd like to follow up on a job.

Me: Okay, do you have the job number?

Them: Yes. I don't know if it's a one-one, or...

Me: It's I I. All our tickets start with I I.

Them. Okay, so the job number is I............................. I..........................

Me: .................... Yes?

Them: Four......... one......... three............................................

Me: ................................................ Yes?

Them: Seven............. two................. six.......................................

Me: ............................................................................Yes?

Them: ...............seven.

Me: Thank You.
Click to expand...
No, wait. That's a three.


...........................................which one was a three?


ummmm..................................the seven.


..............................................................which seven?
 
To be fair, that’s better than the usual

I............I...........fowothrsvtx..........seven.
 
I once asked a cow-orker for a phone number. (Seven digit standard, and not a habitual stutterer).

"Four... four one... three... two six... two six... two... two seven."
I said "That's too many numbers."
"Four one three... two... two six... two... two seven."
"Still too many numbers. How about you write it down for me?"
 
Here's a bit I did for my first open-mic standup. It got a few genuine laughs...

I've seen a few other good innuendo remarks around here I may have to add if I ever perform again.

Good evening folks!

For the last 30 years I've been doing computer phone support.
It took me that long to lose my accent...

You know, working computer phone support is sometimes like being a sex therapist.

Example:
Hello, Computer support this is Al, how can I help you?
Your... thing won't come up. (head shake)
OK, what kind of disc do you have?
I said "disc"!
Is it a floppy or a hard disc?

When was the last time you had it up?
Uh, have you had your hard drive checked?
...No, I don't think there's a pill for that...

OK, time to do some input.
You have your disc in your hand?
Good.
Do you see the slot?
Put your disc in there, gently!
...

Now you can try to turn it on.
There's a little button right above the slot. Press and hold that button.
No, you don't have to wiggle it.

Something's happening? good. It's warming up.
Now you have to tap the f8 key on and off until something happens. Make sure not to make your keystroke too fast or two slow.
Not working? You have to stroke faster.
Faster!

OK, you're getting output. A lot... of output.
That's ok, you can always clear your screen. Yes, a tissue will work for that.

Now that you've come online...
you can shut down and allow your log to reset.

Yes, you're welcome.
What's that? No sir, I can't recommend any internet porn sites. That's not what I do.
Yes, goodbye.
Click to expand...
 
TragicMonkey said:
Sheesh, guys, save it for emails to project management. My post here was obviously a description of what I actually said in real life to those bozos, it wasn't literally a transcription, so there's no way they could have interpreted it as a logical statement they could evaluate in that pedantic programmer way. It actually went like this:

We can do THIS:

[illustrative example given]

OR we can do THAT:

[illustrative example given]

[A couple of sentences pointing out the difference]

Which should I do?

Yours In Christ,
Ramhard X Beefslab (that's my porn name)
Click to expand...

If I can be pendantic for a moment :p "both", which IMO could be states as "yes please" is a valid answer to the question “do you want a or b?”.

cf the truth table for “or”
https://web.stanford.edu/class/cs103/tools/truth-table-tool/

If you don’t want “both a and b” to be a valid response technically, you should be asking “do you want a xor b?”

Of course colloquially speaking when people ask “do you want a or b?” they usually mean “do you want a xor b”
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top Bottom