I came across a link on twitter to a video on a US newspaper web site....There had been a rather protracted dispute with him refusing private facilities and insisting on getting changed with the girls. …
This seems emblematic of the whole situation. Women and girls are constantly being told to suck it up and castigated for bigotry when they try to articulate their desire for privacy and modesty, while the males are given everything they want. Nobody ever tells the boy who has decided that he's trans to suck it up, or ask him what his problem is changing beside other people with the same genitalia as he has, or calls him bigoted for not wanting to do that.
I want to expand a bit here. It illustrates a few things.
First, in many of these threads, especially from a few years back, it was always said that "no trans woman would ever" make it plain she was a biological male, by letting people see the proof. I guess there have been enough cases where it has happened that people have kind of dropped that argument. In this case, given an opportunity to hide the goods, the transgirl specifically chose to not do so.
Second, it seems that the transgirl is also acting without any consideration at all for his/her fellow students. Yes, she would prefer things to be a certain way, but surely there would be some empathy from her, to recognize that her presence, with her visible junk bulge and all, would make them uncomfortable, and s/he would understand that, and be willing to compromise.
Third, there's something I've wondered about in a few similar stories. Generally, people who went to the same grade school go to the same high school. In other words, a lot of the girls in that locker room had known this kid for as long as they could remember, and known her as a boy. Who knows? Maybe thay had a crush on him, or she them. Surely that would make people understand why they clearly know the biological status and create even more awkwardness involved, and surely she would sympathize and do a little bit to ease that discomfort? Apparently not.
And finally, what if they didn't have a crush on him? What if, in fact, when she was a he, they thought he was the weird kid. He was the kid they had to dance with at dance lessons, but he gave them the creeps. I know we aren't supposed to say bad things about kids, and they're all wonderful and perfect and all that, but the fact is that sometimes the unpopular kids are unpopular because they are really creepy. So now the girls are in a position where there's this this creepy boy that they've known all their lives, and now he wants to wear women's underwear and watch them undress.
Is that mean? Is that rude to say? Is that transphobic? It's all of those things, I suppose. But it's also quite real Are teenage girls just supposed to suddenly pretend that their feelings for this person, good or bad, don't matter, and just casually take off their clothes in his presence, the same way they would with the girls they've known all their lives?
I just think that's asking a little bit too much. I think the transgirl ought to at least take the very small gesture of putting their minds at ease as best she can, and the fact that she won't makes me really wonder what's going through her head.
