Books Not to Read

[Beelzebuddy]

The worst book I ever read all the way through was Battlestar Galactica: Armageddon by Richard Hatch (the original BSG Apollo). It had the plot structure and dialogue of a kid playing with his space toys and making up a story for them while smashing them together. I read it out of curiosity and regretted it.

That reminds me of the LeVar Burton (of Geordie and Reading Rainbow fame) novel. I don't think it counts for this thread because you really won't need to be told not to read it.

 

[carlitos]

When I first read Catcher in the Rye, I too was a smarmy little prick. My biggest takeaway was that, if you dressed up and wore a tie when you went downtown, they would assume that you were older and serve you alcohol. Mission accomplished - thanks JD Salinger!

 

[Armitage72]

Anything and everything written by Piers Anthony are best avoided, with the exception of the Aton books, and Of Man and Manta. ... The guy has some serious issues.

You left out the repeated sexualization of preteen girls and the adult characters who frequently insist that age of consent laws are arbitrary and unfair.

 

[jimbob]

<snip>

Back on topic. My nomination is Foucault's Pendulum It's the first book I read that I failed to finish; due to being absolutely as dull as watching paint dry.

Personally, I thought it was fascinating, and had trouble putting it down. But I'm weird, so...

One SF novel I'd add to the list though is Robert Heinlein's The Number of the Beast. If you read Stranger in a Strange Land back in the day, stop there.

The Number of the Beast was when Heinlein started writing his own fanfiction. That's the problem with a lot of his later work, Friday being another good (bad) example.
<snip>






Orson Scott Card had some great books, and some utter and complete crap, with a disturbing air of paedophilia underlying a lot of them.

Anything and everything written by Piers Anthony are best avoided, with the exception of the Aton books, and Of Man and Manta. Incarnations of Immortality starts well, but ends up just being repetitious and dull after the first couple books, and the less said about the writing quality of Apprentice Adept the better. Xanth started out vaguely misogynistic, and ended up being nothing more than an excuse to spew bad puns provided by readers. Everything else of his that I've read (most of it) ranges from disturbingly misogynistic to violently misogynistic. Bio of a Space Tyrant in particular seemed written as an excuse to string together violent rape scenes, and in the Cluster series, he managed to invent an entirely new form of sex and create a rape scenario for it. Then there was Pornucopia, which was all about rape as comedy. On the other hand, Mode not only was fairly dull for most of it, with profoundly stupid characters, but even managed to write a profoundly dull rape scene. The guy has some serious issues.

I liked Foucault's Pendulum too.

Even as a young teenager, the Number of the Beast was enough to stop me reading Heinlein

I keep hearing metaphorical tamborines in Orson Bean* Curd's writing

And Piers Anthony is... eugh.



*Yes I did find Bill the Galactic Hero a good parody of the Space Marines genre.

ETA:

And Piers Anthony is... eugh.

for this reason

You left out the repeated sexualization of preteen girls and the adult characters who frequently insist that age of consent laws are arbitrary and unfair.

 

[zooterkin]

The entire collection of books by Lobsang Rampa.

I read about three of them with an open mind as to their credibility, but the fourth book was about cat legends, and that finished me.

Well, rather than a Tibetan Buddhist monk, he was actually an ex-plumber from the West Country.

 

[luchog]

You left out the repeated sexualization of preteen girls and the adult characters who frequently insist that age of consent laws are arbitrary and unfair.

Yeah, listing all the problems with his work would require an entire thread of its own. The guy is seriously creepy.

 

[Roboramma]

That reminds me ... The Once and Future King.

For people who haven't read the novel that the movie "The Princess Bride" is based on, the premise is that it's an abridged version of a several centuries old novel that the author's father read to him as a child. When he found a copy as an adult, he discovered that his father had only been reading the good parts, while the actual book is incredibly dry, slow, and boring. The novel is the author's attempt to recreate what his father read to him.

For me, the Once and Future King is a real life version of the original unabridged book. I've never been able to get more than a quarter of the way through it.
A several page description of the leatherworking tools on a bench.
Merlin and Arthur shrink to explore an anthill, which sounds exciting, except it quickly becomes an allegorical essay on the inherent flaws of Communism.
The shapeshifting duel between Merlin and Mim, which was in the original "Sword in the Stone" novella and the Disney movie adaptation, was completely removed from "The Once and Future King", probably for being too exciting.

Wow. I read The Once and Future King as a teenager and loved it. I spent days laughing aloud. I found it to be the exact opposite of what you describe.

 

[Roboramma]

A genius author ought to be able to write women as if they have some sort of an inner life and sense of self.

Sure, but "ought to be able to" doesn't equate with doing so being suitable for some particular story.

 

[Apathia]

Personally, I love most of Donaldson's work. I thought all the Thomas Covenant books were great, and that the unsympathetic main character was a large part of the reason for that. It was effectively the "anti-Tolkien", and the point was Covenant's redemption and the recovery of his humanity.

This is precisely why I kept reading the Covenant books.
Also for reasons too private/personal for this venue, Covenant's main line, "Don't touch me! I'm a leper!" was so relevant to me that I had to know how Thomas Covenant would ever be able to be intimate with anyone again.

 

[arthwollipot]

In school I was forced to endure reading Doctor Wooreddy's Prescription for Enduring the Ending of the World. I do not recommend it.

I got about fourteen chapters into War and Peace before I realised that I had no idea who the characters were or what was happening, and two chapters after that I realised that I didn't care.

 

[jadebox]

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

It took me about 30 years to read Catch 22. Over that period of time, I tried to read it at least five or six times. I was never able to make it through the first chapter or two. But, I kept the novel on my bookshelf and I kept coming back to it because it seemed like a book I should enjoy.

Finally, I saw it for sale at Audible.com and I bought the audiobook. I listened to it in the car driving to and from work and I found it quite enjoyable.

I really can't explain why I had such a hard time getting into it for so long. But, those first couple of chapters were tough for me.

As far as novels to stay away from ... Look out for the trash James Patterson is lending his name to lately. I made the mistake of picking up one of them. It started with an interesting premise, a man watching his own body being carried out of the building where he lived, and, apparently, died. But, it was all downhill from there. It didn't have an ending. No explanation was offered for all the weird things that had happened. (It was like the end of "Battlestar Galactica" without even the "god wanted it that way" crap.)

 

[catsmate]

That doesn't sound very surprising.

Damn, I am trying to remember the poster who reviewed some of the Alt-right Hugo entries a couple of years ago. I *think* he referred to one candidate as "Ammonia".

ETA:

I don't think Catsmate is a fan

Of Kratman and his ilk? No.
He's an idiot, a terrible excuse for a human being and an awful writer.

 

[The Sparrow]

...
I got about fourteen chapters into War and Peace before I realised that I had no idea who the characters were or what was happening, and two chapters after that I realised that I didn't care.

There are something like 500 characters in that book. No thanks.
On the other hand I really enjoyed Anna Karenina. (Tolstoy as well)
The character Levin had so much similarities to me. I AM Levin.

 

[TragicMonkey]

I reluctantly have to add Bram Stoker's Dracula. Astonishing considering what a huge impact it had on our culture, but the book itself is rather dry, dull, and underwritten. The story is great, it's the execution that is lacking. It's a disappointing read because one expects so much more.

 

[Apathia]

Don't read Poor Richard's Almanack because "Lost time is never found again."

And the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

My eight grade English teacher told us it was "the funniest book" she'd ever read. I read it and couldn't find the funny parts.

 

[Dr. Keith]

My eight grade English teacher told us it was "the funniest book" she'd ever read. I read it and couldn't find the funny parts.

I told my kid that Candide was one of the funniest books I had ever read. When he realized that the biggest joke was on him, he really started hating me in earnest. The one redeeming fact is that when I refer to an annoyingly cheerful relative as Pangloss my kid finds it funny.

 

[carrps]

I reluctantly have to add Bram Stoker's Dracula. Astonishing considering what a huge impact it had on our culture, but the book itself is rather dry, dull, and underwritten. The story is great, it's the execution that is lacking. It's a disappointing read because one expects so much more.

Interesting, because I read it a year or two ago and expected it to be fairly awful and very, very Victorian. But I found it surprisingly readable.

 

[carrps]

I told my kid that Candide was one of the funniest books I had ever read. When he realized that the biggest joke was on him, he really started hating me in earnest. The one redeeming fact is that when I refer to an annoyingly cheerful relative as Pangloss my kid finds it funny.

Oh, but I love Bernstein's music! The only way to "interact" with Candide (I read it a million years ago).

I love the Broadway score so much that I have both the original cast recording, and the studio version that Bernstein conducted, because I couldn't decide which I liked better.

 

[Planigale]

Anything by Thomas Hardy. A bit of aggressive editing needed IMHO.

 

[Darat]

Anything by Thomas Hardy. A bit of aggressive editing needed IMHO.

Agreed.