Scientology and childbirth

Lisa Simpson

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Well, TomKat's having a baby. During the morning news, the entertainment reporter said that not only are Scientologists against post-partum drugs (the Brooke Shields brouhaha), but they are against them during labor as well. In fact, they want the entire birthing process to be silent, so as not to scar the baby. To me, this seems patently unfair to the woman. You can't have an epidural and you have to be silent. You know this idea was thought up by a man. :rolleyes:

Does anyone know if this is true--that Scientologists dislike pain relief during labor and want silence?
 
"Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go. And the maintaining of silence does not mean a volley of "Sh's," for those make stammerers."
L. Ron Hubbard, "Dianetics", Chapter X, "Preventive Dianetics", page 193


:rolleyes:
 
Well, TomKat's having a baby.
I heard about this last night and two things immediately struck me as incredibly stomach turning:
  1. They're spawning.
  2. They're collectively referred to as "TomKat".
Either one alone would make me fear for the future of mankind. Taken together, I'm going down to lay down on the floor and put a paper bag over my head because it will make me feel better.
 
Well, TomKat's having a baby. During the morning news, the entertainment reporter said that not only are Scientologists against post-partum drugs (the Brooke Shields brouhaha), but they are against them during labor as well. In fact, they want the entire birthing process to be silent, so as not to scar the baby. To me, this seems patently unfair to the woman. You can't have an epidural and you have to be silent. You know this idea was thought up by a man. :rolleyes:
Stuff like this makes me wish that men could give birth.
You want to know what it's like to give birth? Well, just imagine the very worst constipation you ever had - you're sitting there on the bog, straining and pushing, you've got this MASS inside your rectum that just won't come out, you're breathing hard, you're pushing down, you can feel this MASS slowly inching down, only to slip back up when you relax, again and again, it's really getting uncomfortable, you've been doing this for HOURS, you're losing track of time, you can feel this MASS getting closer and closer to coming out, you're getting tired, you're breathing hard then breathing light then breathing hard, pushing down, it's starting to HURT HURT HURT you feel like you're going to burst open, that something's going to TEARRRRRRRR OHHHHH BASTARDGODDDDDD IT'S COMING OUTTTTTTTT BASTARDBASTARDDIT HUUUUURTTTTTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try staying silent through that. And that's just constipation - labour is constipation x 50.
 
... you're sitting there on the bog, straining and pushing, you've got this MASS inside your rectum that just won't come out, you're breathing hard, you're pushing down, you can feel this MASS slowly inching down, only to slip back up when you relax, again and again, it's really getting uncomfortable, you've been doing this for HOURS, you're losing track of time, you can feel this MASS getting closer and closer to coming out, you're getting tired, you're breathing hard then breathing light then breathing hard, pushing down, it's starting to HURT HURT HURT you feel like you're going to burst open, that something's going to TEARRRRRRRR OHHHHH BASTARDGODDDDDD IT'S COMING OUTTTTTTTT BASTARDBASTARDDIT HUUUUURTTTTTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try staying silent through that. And that's just constipation - labour is constipation x 50.

ouch...
 
I was in NYC this past weekend, and I actually saw real, live Scientologists giving "free stress tests" in Times Square subway station.

I yelled over to them asking how Xenu was doing, but I do not know if they heard me.

I would have taken their "stress test" but I am not nearly rich enough to be a scientologost.
 
I wish the media would stop giving him attention, but everybody loves a whacko, especially if he's a movie star. Is Scientology what's doing it, or was he always that crazy to begin with?
 
I once heard someone say something to the effect of: "You want to know what childbirth feels like? Grab your bottom lip and then stretch it over your head".

LLH
 
I once heard someone say something to the effect of: "You want to know what childbirth feels like? Grab your bottom lip and then stretch it over your head".

LLH

Then Peter Griffin fell out of a tree and the branches stretched his lip over his head. A classic Family Guy moment.
 
Actually, I predict that marriage won't last long. She will come to her senses long before he will, and Nicole will gain a soulmate.

Note the date!
 
The cynic in me thinks that the time the child will be born is awfully close to his next movie premiere.
 
Silent during childbirth. Without drugs? What a load of rubbish. Maybe that's why Ms Kidman adopted rather than go through any such trauma.
 
then they will be expressing their pain for years...Jeez...start expressing yourslefs now..Female believers
 
When Kate gets a hold of Tom's testicles during the final stages of delivery, I suggest it will be hard for HIM to "remain silent"... :D
 
see that wouldn't be true expression of her pain...plus that would cause more tension...she would have to think that it actually releases the mental anguish from her fatigue and stress....She couldn't express vocally...well that would stink...
 

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