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Moments when faith can seem more reasonable than reason

simonxlong

Thinker
S
Joined
Jun 3, 2013
Messages
193
My wife died of cervical cancer at the end of August after fighting it for three years, and it’s been rough. Last night, I woke up in bed and knew someone was there in the room with me. I sat up and my wife was standing there in the middle of the room looking at me and smiling. I was seeing ghost, but for just a few moments, an overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment hit me. Suddenly, everything was okay in the world again. Then I came fully awake, the room was dark, and no one was there. It was one of those dreams you have when you’re neither awake nor asleep, but somewhere in between.

Nonetheless, the experience was perhaps one of the most powerful emotional occurrences I’ve ever had. Months of restless sleep and nightmares have taken their toll, and this was the first time I’ve really felt okay in a while, even if it only lasted a few moments. It felt so real, and the idea that my wife was communicating from the other side, so to speak, to tell me she was okay felt very compelling. Of course, it was just a dream and I know that beyond a doubt, but for a little while I just let myself believe. I understand now, in a way I couldn’t before, why someone is willing to sacrifice reason for faith. At this time, believing she is waiting in the afterlife is appealing, even if irrational.

Sorry if this is so analytical. It’s the only way I could bring myself to write it.
 
I became very depressed after my Dad died. Then one night I had a dream of him. It wasn't a remarkable dream- in it he didn't tell me some great revelation or even express his love for me. It was just a snippet of what would have been an unexciting day to day conversation between us when he was alive. Yet when I woke up my depression was gone.

What we think we experience can have the same effects on our emotions as what we actually do experience. Why not- both are filtered through the same brain.

I am thrilled for you that your wife came back to visit you. I personally believe she was the wife you keep alive inside your brain as your memories and in your love. Those parts of her will never die for you no matter how intensely you miss her presence in your physical life. And those parts can still bring you peace and some relieve from the sadness.

I don't believe in an afterlife or that my Dad is waiting for me. But I do feel he lives on in the memories of those who knew him, in my own DNA, and in what he taught me. But I would never tell you that there cannot be an afterlife. How could I know for certain? If you do one day meet your wife again, tell her how wrong I was and have a wonderful time together.
 
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simonxlong said:
My wife died of cervical cancer at the end of August after fighting it for three years, and it’s been rough. Last night, I woke up in bed and knew someone was there in the room with me. I sat up and my wife was standing there in the middle of the room looking at me and smiling. I was seeing ghost, but for just a few moments, an overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment hit me. Suddenly, everything was okay in the world again. Then I came fully awake, the room was dark, and no one was there. It was one of those dreams you have when you’re neither awake nor asleep, but somewhere in between.

Nonetheless, the experience was perhaps one of the most powerful emotional occurrences I’ve ever had. Months of restless sleep and nightmares have taken their toll, and this was the first time I’ve really felt okay in a while, even if it only lasted a few moments. It felt so real, and the idea that my wife was communicating from the other side, so to speak, to tell me she was okay felt very compelling. Of course, it was just a dream and I know that beyond a doubt, but for a little while I just let myself believe. I understand now, in a way I couldn’t before, why someone is willing to sacrifice reason for faith. At this time, believing she is waiting in the afterlife is appealing, even if irrational.

Sorry if this is so analytical. It’s the only way I could bring myself to write it.
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
You might consider attending a spiritualist church service, and if you go regularly for a period of time you might find you will get evidential messages from your wife.
 
Scorpion said:
Sorry to hear of your loss.
You might consider attending a spiritualist church service, and if you go regularly for a period of time you might find you will get evidential messages from your wife.
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Once they learn enough about the who, how, when and why of her passing.
 
Thor 2 said:
I also am sorry to hear of your loss simonxlong.

As you can see however ^ if you leave the door open just a crack, the woo peddlers will swoop in.
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I do not suppose the OP will actually go to a spiritualist church, but if he did and he received evidential messages, it would be very interesting to have him post them here.
 
I suppose I wasn't being clear in my post. I don't believe in the afterlife. I believe when you die, you die. That's it, it's over. My point was that when you're really upset and hurting, it becomes much easier to accept the woo and to abandon rational thinking. Some part of you really, really wants gods and spirits to be real so that it's not just over. She's not just gone forever.

I guess what I was trying to say is that this experience has made me much more capable of understanding why people come to embrace religions and gods in a way and on a level that I just didn't have the frame of reference to understand before. They offer hope.

The part that makes it bad is that it's false hope. And trust me, when the woman you've been married to your entire adult life is begging you to give her too much morphine to make the pain stop, there is nothing worse than false hope.
 
simonxlong said:
My wife died of cervical cancer at the end of August after fighting it for three years, and it’s been rough. Last night, I woke up in bed and knew someone was there in the room with me. I sat up and my wife was standing there in the middle of the room looking at me and smiling. I was seeing ghost, but for just a few moments, an overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment hit me. Suddenly, everything was okay in the world again. Then I came fully awake, the room was dark, and no one was there. It was one of those dreams you have when you’re neither awake nor asleep, but somewhere in between.

Nonetheless, the experience was perhaps one of the most powerful emotional occurrences I’ve ever had. Months of restless sleep and nightmares have taken their toll, and this was the first time I’ve really felt okay in a while, even if it only lasted a few moments. It felt so real, and the idea that my wife was communicating from the other side, so to speak, to tell me she was okay felt very compelling. Of course, it was just a dream and I know that beyond a doubt, but for a little while I just let myself believe. I understand now, in a way I couldn’t before, why someone is willing to sacrifice reason for faith. At this time, believing she is waiting in the afterlife is appealing, even if irrational.

Sorry if this is so analytical. It’s the only way I could bring myself to write it.
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I'm profoundly sorry for your loss.

I know about losing friends and loved ones without any chance of saying goodbye and any chance for emotional preparation. You get a phone call, or if you're there the person is alive one second and dead the next. You go into these things with your eyes open, but it's a weight that you carry for. the rest of your life.

Sometimes in quiet moments and in dreams, I feel those people inside me. I see them as they were in life.

I believe that these instances are manifestations of my mind and emotions, not any evidence of divinity.

I'm not writing this to put you down or negate your interpretation of your experience. If it brings you comfort there's nothing wrong with it. Everybody processes grief and loss in their own way and they are entitled to their experiences.

I would advise against going to any commercial entity with the intention of seeking clarification or guidance. The most likely outcome would be a lighter wallet with no lighter emotional burden.

Again, my deepest condolences.
 
My condolences on your loss simonxlong.

I had a similar experience a few years ago. I had a long talk with my mother, who had died some years before (cancer sucks) in a dream. I told her about where I had been, and what I had done since she died. She told me she approved, mostly, of my actions.

All in my head of course, but it did make me feel better.

Hang in there man, you will get better.
 
simonxlong said:
I suppose I wasn't being clear in my post. I don't believe in the afterlife. I believe when you die, you die. That's it, it's over. My point was that when you're really upset and hurting, it becomes much easier to accept the woo and to abandon rational thinking. Some part of you really, really wants gods and spirits to be real so that it's not just over. She's not just gone forever.

I guess what I was trying to say is that this experience has made me much more capable of understanding why people come to embrace religions and gods in a way and on a level that I just didn't have the frame of reference to understand before. They offer hope.

The part that makes it bad is that it's false hope. And trust me, when the woman you've been married to your entire adult life is begging you to give her too much morphine to make the pain stop, there is nothing worse than false hope.
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On this forum they keep talking to me about evidence, but you say you don't believe in an afterlife. I would ask you what evidence you have for that view.

If there is a spirit world then your wife is in a beautiful realm beyond your imagining, and she no longer has any pain. Don't you think that she would be bursting with the desire to tell you this, but if you don't go to a spiritualist church you will not give her the opportunity to do so.

Spiritualist churches do not charge fees they send round a voluntary collection plate. If you go for a few weeks you might get an evidential message.

Why not take the chance.
 
Scorpion said:
On this forum they keep talking to me about evidence, but you say you don't believe in an afterlife. I would ask you what evidence you have for that view.
If there is a spirit world then your wife is in a beautiful realm beyond your imagining, and she no longer has any pain. Don't you think that she would be bursting with the desire to tell you this, but if you don't go to a spiritualist church you will not give her the opportunity to do so.

Spiritualist churches do not charge fees they send round a voluntary collection plate. If you go for a few weeks you might get an evidential message.

Why not take the chance.
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I see no worthwhile evidence of an afterlife. If someone tells me it's real, it's their job to provide evidence. It's not my job to attempt to prove a negative.

As far as I'm concerned, you are peddling woo.
 
Simonxlong

Many condolences for your loss and pain; and thank you for writing such a moving and thoughtful OP
 
All I can do is add more condolences.
I think our brains are funny, I have had the experience of a just died much beloved pet jumping on my bed.
It was just as real as if it had genuinely happened.

I ma glad it gave you peace.
 
Scorpion said:
On this forum they keep talking to me about evidence, but you say you don't believe in an afterlife. I would ask you what evidence you have for that view.

If there is a spirit world then your wife is in a beautiful realm beyond your imagining, and she no longer has any pain. Don't you think that she would be bursting with the desire to tell you this, but if you don't go to a spiritualist church you will not give her the opportunity to do so.

Spiritualist churches do not charge fees they send round a voluntary collection plate. If you go for a few weeks you might get an evidential message.

Why not take the chance.
Click to expand...

I've checked out more than once, seriously - with medical intervention I made it back.

I saw no light or dead relatives or friends, and heard no heavenly choir.

I was gone, but the medicos brought me back.

I've discussed it with other guys that went through the same experience and not one of them experienced any afterlife, and more than one was a held religious beliefs.

I've read and heard of reports of near death experiences but not from anyone in my circle.
 
simonxlong said:
I guess what I was trying to say is that this experience has made me much more capable of understanding why people come to embrace religions and gods in a way and on a level that I just didn't have the frame of reference to understand before. They offer hope.
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This really came through in your remarkable post. Well said and said well.
 
Scorpion said:
Sorry to hear of your loss.
You might consider attending a spiritualist church service, and if you go regularly for a period of time you might find you will get evidential messages from your wife.
Click to expand...

Inappropriate crap. Almost as if you didn't bother reading the wonderful OP, and just use any opportunity you can find to splatter your woo onto the forum, however distasteful the timing.
 
simonxlong said:
My wife died of cervical cancer at the end of August after fighting it for three years, and it’s been rough. Last night, I woke up in bed and knew someone was there in the room with me. I sat up and my wife was standing there in the middle of the room looking at me and smiling. I was seeing ghost, but for just a few moments, an overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment hit me. Suddenly, everything was okay in the world again. Then I came fully awake, the room was dark, and no one was there. It was one of those dreams you have when you’re neither awake nor asleep, but somewhere in between.

Nonetheless, the experience was perhaps one of the most powerful emotional occurrences I’ve ever had. Months of restless sleep and nightmares have taken their toll, and this was the first time I’ve really felt okay in a while, even if it only lasted a few moments. It felt so real, and the idea that my wife was communicating from the other side, so to speak, to tell me she was okay felt very compelling. Of course, it was just a dream and I know that beyond a doubt, but for a little while I just let myself believe. I understand now, in a way I couldn’t before, why someone is willing to sacrifice reason for faith. At this time, believing she is waiting in the afterlife is appealing, even if irrational.

Sorry if this is so analytical. It’s the only way I could bring myself to write it.
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I am so very sorry for your loss simonxlong.

I lost my first wife to breast cancer many years ago, so I hear where you are coming from and understand the things you have been going through... the sleepless nights, the little things around the house that keep reminding you of her years later, the music and movies that you both enjoyed together, or when a woman wearing your wife's favourite perfume passes you in the street, or when you catch a glimpse of someone who resembles her, or you pass or go into a restaurant you both used to eat at. Sometimes, the little, subtle things can be more unsettling that the bigger things.

I wish I could say that time heals all wounds, but I would be lying.... it doesn't, all it does it makes the hurt and the sorrow easier to deal with. The people you love are always with you in your memories; they may fade but they are not extinguished.


* * * * * *

@Scorpion: DO NOT REPLY TO MY POST. I am not interested in hearing your woo-peddling garbage. Your posts in this thread have been inappropriate and I would guess, unwanted by the OP. Just stop posting in this thread and making a complete asshat of yourself. No-one here is interested in your woo.
 
BStrong said:
I've checked out more than once, seriously - with medical intervention I made it back.

I saw no light or dead relatives or friends, and heard no heavenly choir.

I was gone, but the medicos brought me back.

I've discussed it with other guys that went through the same experience and not one of them experienced any afterlife, and more than one was a held religious beliefs.

I've read and heard of reports of near death experiences but not from anyone in my circle.
Click to expand...


My experience also. I have had 3 near deaths and didn't experience any of the: Ascending to some wonderful place, or what would have been likely given my lack of faith, descending to some not so wonderful place. It was just nothingness, or more correctly not even that, as I had no recollections of any sensations.
 
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