You would have strong bonds and what, exactly?
If you were starting from scratch in the 21st century, could that model generate a fairly quality standard of living? Depending on where you are, probably.
Was that sort of arrangement at all plausible or desirable to the people of mid-19th century America? Obviously not.
I'm confused at what you're trying to say. As a matter of history, you have been given your answers. Because you don't agree with the decisions of people in the 1860's does not change what those decisions were and what drove them.
If you want to make an argument that tiny states are cool, go ahead and do it, but that has little bearing on the question you asked.
Functionally it isn't. If you're permitted to leave, the federal government can't function.
It barely works for the EU, and that entity is more like a confederacy than our federal government.