Yes, reality happens and things happen whether there is an observer or not. In any given reference frame events happen in a sequence. In another reference frame, they may happen in a different sequence. In our world, time is dependent on the reference frame and all of them are equally valid. It's very counterintuitive but it is the nature of reality as we observe it.
Actually, that we perceive reality different seems very intuitive to me. I think the part that is counter-intuitive is that I am having a difficult time getting folks to accept that reality is out there and does NOT depend on observers to be reality.
While two observers my experience the same events in a different sequence, in reality (objective frame] the events happened in a particular way, in a particular sequence.
How would you define a frame of reference?
Without looking it up and giving a dictionary or wiki definition:
[ Reference ]

**
A point of view, perspective;
The point of reference for observation;
The angle / scope of a scene;
As examples, we have the ball on the moving train, and the different 'frames of reference' of the person bouncing the ball, the person on the outside of the train, and the person in a jet. All perceive the ball moving in a different way because of their perspectives and the quirks of SR.
AND, in this scene, you and I have a frame of reference: We are describing the reality of the ball on the train, because we have a "god's* view" of the scene. In fact, like god*, we created (describe) the [objective] scene. The reality with the other frames of reference we describe.
In describing SR we also necessarily take a "god's* view" (the Objective Reality) to set the scene.
No one can experience the objective reality. But we can describe it. Hence why I say it is not real, it is an image.
* There is no god. However, god being omniscient would experience reality as it is, since there would be no SR since god is everywhere, all the time (sorta like Starbucks).
** Get it? 'reference' in a [ ] frame
