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Merged Chick Tracts

Craig B said:
I see Fang is in the story, eying up a squirrel.
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Fang is all over this one. For that reason alone, it's the best Chick in years.

Panel 4: Fang is . . . I don't know what the hell Fang is doing. Sort of peeking around a table or something, watching Billy do a crappy job of panning for gold. Maybe Fang is considering grabbing that jug of 'shine on the table and running off. Run, Fang! RUN FOR YOUR SANITY!!!!

Panel 6: Fang goes toe-to-toe with Little Jake. Jake is apparently wearing a Coolie hat for some reason, which makes me want to growl at him too. Also, Jake is holding that shovel in a very threatening manner. Get 'im, Fang.

Panel 7: Big Mike's word balloon is covering most of Fang. I can't quite see, but he (Fang, not Mike) seems to have some sort of forlorn look on his face. Shut the hell up, Mike, we want to see Fang. Edit: I looked at a zoomed-in Panel 7 (oh yes I did, and I don't want to hear any crap about it). Fang is actually angry, and seems to be readying an attack on . . . something hard-shelled. A turtle? An armadillo? Billy's hat? The world may never know.

Panel 19: No Fang, but: "Somebody shot Billy in the belly." Best. Line. Ever. This whole tract is getting printed and put on my fridge. I'm serious. Awesome.

Panel 27: Fang does, indeed, eye the squirrel. He's not growling, though, and that look in his eyes . . . could it be . . . has Fang finally found LOVE? I understand the problems with an interspecies relationship, but I get it - look at that puffy tail, you other brothers can't deny, right? We've all been there, Fang. Follow your heart.

Panel 36: Ah, yes, Fang sitting on a rock watching the birds with his new friend . . . wait, no! It can't be! Is that TCWNIDK? Fang, we've discussed this! He(?)'s no good for you! All that cat wants is violent sex! You said you were through with TCWNIDK, Fang! You deserve better!

Will Fang find true love? Will he be raped by that darned cat again? Tune in next time when absolutely nothing will be revealed! (Oh, and Jesus stuff too.)
 
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poblob14 said:
Fang is all over this one. For that reason alone, it's the best Chick in years.

Panel 4: Fang is . . . I don't know what the hell Fang is doing. Sort of peeking around a table or something, watching Billy do a crappy job of panning for gold. Maybe Fang is considering grabbing that jug of 'shine on the table and running off. Run, Fang! RUN FOR YOUR SANITY!!!!

Panel 6: Fang goes toe-to-toe with Little Jake. Jake is apparently wearing a Coolie hat for some reason, which makes me want to growl at him too. Also, Jake is holding that shovel in a very threatening manner. Get 'im, Fang.

Panel 7: Big Mike's word balloon is covering most of Fang. I can't quite see, but he (Fang, not Mike) seems to have some sort of forlorn look on his face. Shut the hell up, Mike, we want to see Fang. Edit: I looked at a zoomed-in Panel 7 (oh yes I did, and I don't want to hear any crap about it). Fang is actually angry, and seems to be readying an attack on . . . something hard-shelled. A turtle? An armadillo? Billy's hat? The world may never know.

Panel 19: No Fang, but: "Somebody shot Billy in the belly." Best. Line. Ever. This whole tract is getting printed and put on my fridge. I'm serious. Awesome.

Panel 27: Fang does, indeed, eye the squirrel. He's not growling, though, and that look in his eyes . . . could it be . . . has Fang finally found LOVE? I understand the problems with an interspecies relationship, but I get it - look at that puffy tail, you other brothers can't deny, right? We've all been there, Fang. Follow your heart.

Panel 36: Ah, yes, Fang sitting on a rock watching the birds with his new friend . . . wait, no! It can't be! Is that TCWNIDK? Fang, we've discussed this! He(?)'s no good for you! All that cat wants is violent sex! You said you were through with TCWNIDK, Fang! You deserve better!

Will Fang find true love? Will he be raped by that darned cat again? Tune in next time when absolutely nothing will be revealed! (Oh, and Jesus stuff too.)
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Fang, the cat, the squirrel, a menage-a-trois?
 
tsig said:
Fang, the cat, the squirrel, a menage-a-trois?
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If only there were a meme suggesting that my desire for this to become real is so great, that I would like you to stop speaking and accept payment for any form of this you would produce, I would post it here.
 
gypsyjackson said:
Wow, 116 9s wide on my iPad, plus it is elastic. Just the 116 digits would presumably take up all the resources in the world.

ETA - Yeah, if they weigh a gram each, that would already be roughly the mass of the Earth to the power 4, give or take a few grams.
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IIRC, the number of subatomic particles in the universe is 10^80. It's estimated if you crammed the universe solid with neutrons, you'd have about 10^120 neutrons.

That's a lotta Dark Dungeons copies.
 
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I used to love D&D back in my youth, but I don't recall standing in a crowd chanting RPG while punching the air, or moving on to 'real' magic. Maybe I was just crap at it.

I'd love to watch the whole of that drivel, but I'm not paying the prats who made it any money.
 
Ian Osborne said:
I used to love D&D back in my youth, but I don't recall standing in a crowd chanting RPG while punching the air, or moving on to 'real' magic. Maybe I was just crap at it.

I'd love to watch the whole of that drivel, but I'm not paying the prats who made it any money.
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It's not drivel. It's parody. The team behind it are the same folks who did "The Gamers" and "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising." They played a clever game to get the rights. They realized a faithful adaptation played straight would be indistinguishable from parody, so they agreed to do a straight and serious adaptation. You can even get it from the game site GOG.com

https://www.gog.com/movie/dark_dungeons
 
Ian Osborne said:
Wow, I assumed it was for real. Cheers.
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A LOT of people did, especially when they ran the Kickstarter. I only realized this was going to be a parody when I recognized some of the people from "Dornkess Rising." They've played this very close to the chest.

The "subtle" lesbian flirtation subtext was a fun giveaway.
 
Argumemnon said:
I'm so used to asking people for evidence that this sort of claim-only nonsense just seems boring, now. He's not even trying.
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Seemingly not trying. He quotes Isaiah 1:18, that "Your soul becomes as white as snow, ready for heaven". But Isaiah 1:18 says nothing about souls or reward after death in Heaven.
1:18 “Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. 19 If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land; 20 but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword. ( ... ) 25 ... I will thoroughly purge away your dross and remove all your impurities. 26 I will restore your leaders as in days of old, your rulers as at the beginning. ... 27 Zion will be delivered with justice​
Zion (Jerusalem) will be restored on earth if she returns to obedience. That is the message; not that a person has an invisible soul that will go to heaven because they pray to a sacrificed Messiah.

How can these evangelicals so misrepresent plain words written on pages in front of their faces?
 
Craig B said:
How can these evangelicals so misrepresent plain words written on pages in front of their faces?
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Ultimately it's a game of telephone. Biblical literacy is abysmal in religious circles. Once it's circulated that a verse "means" something important, especially in such shoddily written trash as a chick tract, it becomes, well, gospel that it means just that.

By the time it gets to Chick, I doubt it's overt deception so much as incompetent fact checking. The verse is on a list, so nobody bothers to read the verse before citing it. If they do, they never bother to try and read it in context. They just skim to make sure it looks right at a quick glance.
 
halleyscomet said:
Ultimately it's a game of telephone. Biblical literacy is abysmal in religious circles. Once it's circulated that a verse "means" something important, especially in such shoddily written trash as a chick tract, it becomes, well, gospel that it means just that.

By the time it gets to Chick, I doubt it's overt deception so much as incompetent fact checking. The verse is on a list, so nobody bothers to read the verse before citing it. If they do, they never bother to try and read it in context. They just skim to make sure it looks right at a quick glance.
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That sounds amazingly like the way conspiracy-theorists pass around their quote-mines, doesn't it?
 
halleyscomet said:
There's a new tract: Soul Survivor
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Fang makes an appearance! Yea! He's being chased by the cat (does the cat have a name?), but I refuse to read into the drawing as to why Fang is being chased, what the cat wants with Fang, and why Fang's tail is drawn like a sawtooth. But I will say that Fang looks like he's not getting the better of whatever is going on between him and the cat.
 
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